Lemmiwinks

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Lemmiwinks is a fictional gerbil in the South Park television series, introduced in the episode The Death Camp of Tolerance, who becomes a victim of gerbilling. His story is told in three parts.

[edit] Story

[edit] Prologue

Mr. Garrison is demonstrating evaporation by heating water in a bunsen burner. According to him this is an example of an exothermic reaction. (This is incorrect on two counts: First, evaporation is not a reaction, it is a phase change. Second, evaporation is endothermic). Next, he demonstrates an endothermic reaction by placing a glass tube in Mr. Slave's rectum, using the tube to act as a natural conductor of heat. (Virtually every word of this is incorrect.) Butters, a student, is asked to bring a caged gerbil named Lemmiwinks to Mr. Garrison, who demonstrates the reaction of the gerbil to the heat found in Mr. Slave's rectum by inserting Lemmiwinks into the tube (Mr. Garrison is attempting to get himself fired after learning that if he was to be dismissed for his homosexuality he could sue the school for a large amount of money). Lemmiwinks travels a short distance into Mr. Slave's rectum before finding a deceased rodent, and scurries back to the exit, only to find it tightly sealed off. It is here that Lemmiwinks' journey begins.

[edit] Part I

Lemmiwinks encounters the spirit of a frog, holding a sceptre and wearing a crown, who says to the Gerbil, "Lemmiwinks, you must find your way out of this place or you will surely die. This way has been closed up by the Great Sphincter. To escape you must journey upward to the dark reaches of the intestine and past the stomach". Lemmiwinks looks at the Frog King curiously. "Who am I?" the frog says, "just a friend. Heed my words, Lemmiwinks. Your time is running out. Make for the large intestine; all will be made clear then."

Lemmiwinks turns to the dark tunnel. His theme plays:

A great adventure is waiting for you ahead

Hurry onward Lemmiwinks, or you will soon be dead

The journey before you may be long and filled with woe

But you must escape the gay man's ass so your tale can be told

Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks

Lemmiwinks journeyed a distance far and vast

To find his way out of a gay man's ass

The road ahead is filled with danger and fright

But push onwards Lemmiwinks with all of your might

The frog appears again to instruct the Gerbil. "Lemmiwinks, you are coming to the entrance of the small intestine. There you must seek out the Sparrow Prince".

The Sparrow Prince lies somewhere way up ahead

Don't look back Lemmiwinks or you'll soon be dead

Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks the time is growing late

Slow down now and seal your fate.

The spirit of the Sparrow Prince appears. "I am the Sparrow Prince. Long has my spirit been trapped within this place. Before you lies the maze of the small intestine. One path leads to the stomach; the other, to certain doom. Take with you this helmet and torch; Let them be your guide.

Take the magic helmet torch to help you light the way

There's still a lot of ground to cross inside the man so gay

Ahead of you lies adventure, and your strength still lies within

Freedom from the ass of doom is the treasure you will win

[edit] Part II

A Pepto-Bismol pill falls from the esophagus and splashes into a murky pool of stomach fluid. Lemmiwinks emerges and lets out a series of squeaks, swimming to the center of the stomach (Note: The helmet torch is not doused by his swimming in stomach fluids).

Lemmiwinks came to the stomach dark

'neath the depths of the lungs and heart

The spirit of a strange fish appears (inexplicably with a revolver by his midsection). He speaks, "You chose your path wisely, Lemmiwinks. I am the Catata Fish"

Catata Fish of the stomach's cove

"If you answer this riddle, the esophagus will let you pass."

Catata Fish's riddle will soon be told.

[edit] Part III

Lemmiwinks solves the riddle of the Catata Fish, and is instructed by the Frog King to find the exit. He emerges from the esophagus and into daylight.

Lemmiwinks has made it out the tale is nearly through...

Catata fish: Great job Lemmiwinks

Sparrow Prince: Thanks to you we are all free.

Frog King: But your adventures are just beginning. For you are no ordinary Gerbil, Lemmiwinks. You are the Gerbil King.

The Frog King removes the magic candle helmet and replaces it with a gold crown adorned with rubies.

All: All hail the gerbil king.

Now that you're the Gerbil King there's more adventures to go on

Fly away to faraway lands into the setting sun

There's still so many enemies and battles yet to fight

For Lemmiwinks the Gerbil King to be told another night

Lemmi, Lemmi, Lemmiwinks

Lem, Lemmiwinks

Lemmiwinks, Lem, Lemmi, Lemmiwinks

Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks, Gerbil King!

[edit] Trivia

• During the first half of the eighth season of South Park, a commercial aired stating that "The greatest South Park character of all time would return... LEMMIWINKS!" An episode with Lemmiwinks did not appear in the second half of the 8th season, although episode 812 ended with Paris Hilton in Mr. Slave's rectum meeting the Frog King.
• At the beginning of episode 802, "AWESOM-O", a message is read stating, "Due to this week's tragic events in Hawaii, the "Lemmiwinks" episode of South Park will not be shown tonight. Instead we present the all new and slighty better episode, 'AWESOM-O.'" Note that there was no tragic event in Hawaii that could have logically led to the cancellation of a Lemmiwinks episode.
• In episode 93 "Simpsons Already Did It", Lemmiwinks can be seen in a pile of wood brought in by general disarray as Professor Chaos explains his plan to block out the sun.
• The music of the Lemmiwinks episode is a parody of the Rankin-Bass made-for-television animated films of Tolkien's The Hobbit and The Return of the King. The music is particularly similar to the Glenn Yarbrough songs of the former. Also, during Lemmiwinks' journey through the stomach, a bell chimes and a tune follows that bears close resemblance to the Yardbirds "Still I'm Sad".
• South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker used the character of Lemmiwinks in That's My Bush in Episode 4. Near the beginning of the episode, George Bush (as played by Timothy Bottoms) complains that all network shows are the same. In proving him wrong, Laura channel surfs through nothing but homosexual references, until they come upon a children's show called Lemmiwinks, but as a squirrel. When George views it, Lemmiwinks says, "I wish I had a mouth full of nuts!" much to George's dismay.