Lance-Corporal Jack Jones

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Dad's Army character
Image:Jones.gif
Lance-Corporal Jack Jones
Affiliated with Home Guard
Occupation Butcher
First appearance The Man and the Hour
Last appearance Never Too Old
Portrayed by TV Series: Clive Dunn
Stage Show:Clive Dunn and Jack Haig

Lance Corporal Jack Jones is a fictional Home Guard platoon lance-corporal and butcher portrayed by Clive Dunn in the BBC television sitcom Dad's Army.

[edit] Personality

Jones was born in 1870 in Walmington-on-Sea, and he joined the army as a drummer boy in 1884. Thereafter, he served in three military campaigns - The British Reconquest of Sudan (1896-1899), The Boer War (1899-1901) and World War I (1914-1918). He was signed out of the First World War in 1916.

At the outbreak of World War II, Jones was retired from the army and working as a butcher, but he was so keen to join the Home Guard that, despite his age (69), Captain Mainwaring instantly appointed him as the platoon's Lance Corporal. However, it is suggested that Jones' ability to provide off-the-ration meat may have had rather more to do with this decision than Jones' abilities, which given his advanced age were declining somewhat (his vision, for example, was so poor that when signing up for duty, he initially signed the table rather than the form).

In many episodes, Jones fondly recalls his time during the Battle of Omdurman in the Sudan, facing the "Fuzzy Wuzzies" under the command of General Kitchener. As an aged veteran, he is extremely fond of bayonet warfare, and usually meets any queries about this with the assertion that "They don't like it up 'em!"

Jones is known for a number of eccentric traits, such as using long rambling explanations and anecdotes whenever he wants to make a point (which could usually be summed up in a sentence anyway). He is also invariably one step behind the rest of the platoon in any drill manoeuvre. He often makes far-fetched suggestions for the platoon, such as advising that they chop off the German prisoners' trouser buttons, on the grounds that if they escaped, a group of German men walking through the town with their trousers around their ankles may cause people to "raise some inquiries". Every time, Jones' suggestions are soundly refuted by Mainwaring with a curt "I think you're wandering into the realms of fantasy, Jones."

Despite his advanced years and physical failings, Jones is extremely excitable and active. He usually meets any situation where action or danger may be imminent by entering a near-hysterical state in which he runs around frantically shouting "Don't panic! DON'T PANIC!" at the top of his voice until someone manages to calm him down to a state where he is useful. This is often not evidence of fear, however, but of extreme eagerness; a courageous man, Jones is always the first to volunteer for any activity (regardless of any potential danger), and is extremely keen when doing so (and is known to sulk if someone else is chosen for a change).

Jones is well remembered for his catchphrases "Don't Panic!", "Permission to speak, Sir?", and of course - "They don't like it up 'em!", a phrase which writer Jimmy Perry remembered an old campaigner using, during his own service in the Home Guard.

In one episode, The Two and a Half Feathers (a parody of the more famous The Four Feathers) Jones has to confront his past when a former comrade from the Sudan, Private Clarke, joins the Walmington-on-Sea platoon. Clarke accuses Jones of leaving him to die many years ago, following an incident in which both men are attacked and kidnapped by dervishes. After his courage is doubted by the town and the platoon, Jones later vindicates himself with the true story of what happened (nobly held back by Jones in order to spare a third party unnecessary pain or scandal). After Jones reveals the truth, Clarke later flees without explanation, leaving Jones' honour and respect intact.

Jones appears to have reasonably good relationships with both Mainwaring and Wilson, whom he often bribes with meat when he wants his own way. His relationship with Mainwaring is also doubtlessly improved by Jones' tendency to flatter his superior officer. His main rivalries are with Frazer, and the Verger, whom he calls a troublemaker.

On informal occasions, Jones is often accompanied by Mrs Fox, his love-interest. Mrs Fox is a busty middle-aged widow, and a regular customer at Jones' butcher shop. In the final episode, Jones and Mrs Fox married (it is implied she married him for his supply of meat).