User:Korn Head Korn

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Korn Head Korn

If you like Korn, and your favorite member is Brian 'Head' Welch or David, then this is the shit place to go. I got some bitches about Korn. Why did both head leave, and now David (temporarily)?? They were/are shit awesome. Now what the f*ck, all that's left of them is a 3 man band. I sure as hell hope David returns to Korn, so that asshole T. Bozzio doesn't take his place. Head's just gone crazy, goin' all Judas on everyone, leaving Korn cause his goddamm little b*tch daughter had to sing A.D.I.D.A.S. If I see her, I'll kick her. Now he's in India helping poor people. Marvelous. Get his ass over here and help us, give us some new f*cking Korn shit. I'm tired of the same old, same old.

If David doesn't reutrn my next choice would be goin' suicidal. Three Days Grace is also pretty awesome, Emo, yes, but still, if Korn can't pull it's act together, Who doesn't love One-X...We Stand Above The Crowd. I preferably Stand ON the Crowd.

Guitars

Currently, I own and play the Ibanez K7 & K5.

Dirty Jokes

1. Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a blowjob?' ....and she's always sound asleep."

2. A man with a stuttering problem tries everything he can to stop stuttering, but he can't. Finally, he goes to a world renowned doctor for help. The doctor examines him and says "I've found your problem. Your penis is 12 inches long. It weighs so much it is pulling on your lungs, causing you to stutter." So the man asks, "What's he cure, doctor?". To which the doctor replies, "We have to cut off 6 inches." The man thinks about it, and eager to cure his stuttering, agrees to the operation. The operation is a success, and he stops stuttering. Two months later he calls the doctor and tells him that since he had the 6 inches cut off, all of his girlfriends have dumped him, and his love life has gone down the tubes. He wants the doctor to operate to put back the six inches. Not hearing anything on the line, he repeats himself, "Hey doc, didn't you hear me? I want my 6 inches back!" Finally, the doctor responds, "F-f-f-f-f-f-uck Y-y-you!

3. One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden.

"You're a goblin," she says, "I caught you and you owe me three wishes!". So the goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square, what's your first wish?". The woman stops and thinks for a second, "I want a huge mansion to live in.", goblins replies "OK, you've got it.". Woman again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes." "OK, you've got that too." "My last wish is a million dollars!". The goblin then says "OK, you've got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me." "OK then, if that's what it takes..." Next morning the little man wakes the woman up. "Tell me," says the man, "how old are you?" "I'm 27", she replies "Fuck me", says the man, "27 and you still believe in goblins"

4. One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and is startled by a beautiful 19 year old blonde. She said "Santa, will you stay with me?", Santa replied, "Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to good girls and boys." So she took off her night gown, wearing only a bra and panties, she asked "Santa, now will you stay with me?" "Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to gook girls and boys." She takes off everything and says "Santa, now will you stay with me?" Santa replies "Gotta stay, gotta stay, can't get up the chimney with my dick this way!"

5. One day this girl goes to her father, "Dad, I really want to see that movie that just came out, can I please go watch it." The dad replies, "Only if you suck my dick." the girl refuses but says, "please dad, I really really really want to go to the movies." The dad says again, "Only if you suck my dick, then Ill take you." Eventually the girl gives in and sucks his chop. As soon as she does, she leaps back and goes "Eewwww, it tastes like shit!", so the dad says, "Yeah, your brother wanted to go to the movies too."

6. A guy is riding the bus when at a stop, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen gets on. The only problem is that she is a nun. He decides to approach her anyway. "Sister, you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and I must have sex with you." he says. "I'm sorry but I've given my body to God" she replies and then leaves. Suddenly the bus driver turns around to the guy and says "I know a way you can get her in the sack." The bus driver tells the guy about how the nun goes to confessional everyday at 3 in the afternoon. The bus driver tells the guy his plan and the guy leaves happy knowing he's going to get some. The next day at 3 the guy is in the booth dressed as a priest. When the nun approaches in the darkness he says "Sister, God has told me I must have sex with you." She replies "Well if God has said it, we must do it. However because of my strong commitment to God I will only take it up the ass." The guy figures this isn't a problem and proceeds to have the best sex ever. After it is over he whips off his outfit and says "Surprise I'm the guy on the bus" With that the nun turns around and says "Surprise I'm the bus driver

7. A Priest and a nun decide to go golfing one day. For a while, the two enjoy their round peacefully, but on the 3rd hole green, the priest misses an easy putt and yells out, "S*&^! I missed!" The nun turns to him and says, "Father please don’t swear!" He grumbles under his breath and returns to the game. When they reach the next green, the priest is in the same position and misses the putt once again, he then yells out, "S&*$! I missed!" Once again the nun says, "Please Father, don’t swear like that!" He then grumbles under his breath and they resume playing. On the next hole, they make it to the green, and once again the priest misses his easy putt and shouts "S*&#! I missed!" At this point the nun says, "Father, if you don’t stop swearing, then God will strike you dead!" They then continue to the next hole, and for the fourth time, the priest misses a simple putt on the green, he yells, "S*&%! I missed!" Then the sky darkened, the wind picked up, hail fell from the clouds and pummeled the earth, then God himself appeared in the sky and unleashed a thunderbolt which struck the nun and killed her, the the Almighty turned his face upward and said, "S*&%! I MISSED!"

8. So there was a really dirty collage professor that liked to stop in the middle of his lessons and talk about dirty subjects. The students we always grossed out by his stories. There were three particular girls that were annoyed by his stories so they made a plan after class one day. The decided the next time he started a topic on sex or anything dirty, they would get up and leave. The professor, however, caught wind of their scheme, and made up a plan of his own. So, the next day at the end of class, he decided to finish class off with 'There is a shortage of prostitutes in France.' The three girls looked at each other, then started to get up. 'Now, now girls' said the professor smiling, 'The next plane doesn't leave for 48 hours.'