Klopman diamond
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The Klopman diamond is a fabulous, legendary, and huge diamond, said to have a curse associated with it.
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[edit] Origin of the Klopman diamond
The Klopman diamond was originally the subject of a traditional joke, a typical version of which is:
- A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen. He asked her about it.
- "This is the Klopman diamond," she said. "It is beautiful, but it's like the Hope diamond; there is a terrible curse that goes with it."
- "What's the curse?" the man asked.
- "Mr. Klopman."
Due to the use of the name "Klopman" and the somewhat dark humor, and the fact that it was one of Myron Cohen's standards, this joke is sometimes characterised as Yiddish in origin. Some commentators maintain that names other than Klopman would not be as funny, and point to the fact that this joke has survived essentially unaltered for decades.
[edit] Media references to the Klopman diamond
[edit] Garfield and Friends
The Klopman Diamond was used as a running gag in the animated television show Garfield and Friends. For example, there would be a giant diamond in a museum display case, which Garfield, as the museum tour guide, would casually identify in passing as the Klopman diamond; or Nermal would be required to polish the Klopman Diamond as one of a series of tricks during the obedience event of a cat show. At one point, Garfield even mentioned it as a "rare and valuable gem...as well as a pointless running gag on a popular Saturday morning cartoon show." There was a segment devoted to it in the episode "The Curse of Klopman" (see the List of episodes of Garfield and Friends).
Mark Evanier claims credit for adding references to the Klopman diamond to Garfield and Friends.
[edit] Follow-up joke
A later joke, referring to the now-famous Klopman Diamond, goes as follows:
- The very same Mrs. Klopman was told by her doctor that she had a fatal condition and would never outlive her husband. She immediately commissioned a world-famous portrait artist to paint her portrait, which was to be hung above the mantel in the living room. As she posed for the portrait, she instructed the artist to include a few things other than the famed Klopman diamond. "Paint on my wrist a three-tiered diamond tennis bracelet," she said. "Also, paint on Tahitian black pearl earrings the size of grapes." She continued in this vein, asking him to paint several rings on her fingers and a ruby and diamond tiara for good measure. The artist did as he was told, and turned out a dazzling portrait.
- When the job was finished, before he left, the artist said, "May I ask you a question, Mrs. Klopman?"
- "Sure, go ahead," she replied.
- "Well," said the artist, "painting the Klopman diamond was easy, but I had a heck of a time dreaming up all the other jewelry you wanted me to add on. Tell me, why did you want it?"
- A crafty gleam lit Mrs. Klopman's eyes as she explained, "because when I'm dead and my husband brings the next Mrs. Klopman into this house, I want her to look at my portrait and go crazy trying to find all that stuff!"
