User:Jokermage/Chief Librarian

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[edit] Jokermage for Chief Librarian

Don't you want a Chief Librarian you can trust? One that won't "requisition" book-binding glue for "home testing"? One that won't take cut-backs from the publishers? One that won't embezzle the Over Due Book Fees? One that won't use the video collection as a distribution channel for smut?

When you step into the voting booth, elect Jokermage as your Chief Librarian!

[edit] Campaign Commitee Members

[edit] Response to PRfT

  • "He may say he's all about low late fees, but how do you explain the 5 cents I had to pay on my copy of Catcher in the Rye? It's a 'public' library, and i'm part of the 'public', so that means it's mine! He was lucky I brought it back 10 years after I took it!" - Joe Schmoe, book enthusiast
    • While Mr. Schmoe was placing public property under his personal surveilance, 113 other members of the public wanted to borrow the book. Let us not deny others this book further, Mr. Schmoe. You have done enough. Have you no sense of decency sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?
  • "I asked him where I could find a book on ancient footwear, and he used a number in the Dewey Decimal System! If you don't use the Library of Congress, you must be a pinko bastard." -Rhoda Henderson, confused person
    • I believe I interpret the will of the library and of the public when I assert that we will not only defend the Library of Congress system to the uttermost but will make very certain that this form of Deweyism shall never endanger us again.
  • "What? This isn't a cheaper version of the video store!?!?!" -Jim Bob Brown, redneck
    • There is no strife, no prejudice, no national conflict at the library as yet. Its catalogs are open to us all. Its books deserve the best of all mankind, and its opportunity for peaceful readership many never come again. But why, some say, the library? Why choose this as our goal? And they may well ask why read the longest book? Why, 36 years ago, land on the moon? Why can't we take out reference books? We choose to go to the library! We choose to go to the library in this year and do the shelving, not because they are boring, but because they are fun, because those books will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to read!
  • "下手レヱ きりいう 不火持 の 出非璽!" Kanji Morimoto, non-english speaker
    • Today, in the world of libraries, the proudest boast is "Ich bin ein Bibliothekar"!

[edit] Boilerplate

I'm Jokermage, and I approve this parody. Paid for by the Jokermage for Chief Librarian Campaign.

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