John Alexander Porteous

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A portrait of Porteous on the jacket of "Here's Your Chainsaw, What's Your Hurry?"
A portrait of Porteous on the jacket of "Here's Your Chainsaw, What's Your Hurry?"

John Alexander Porteous (July 22, 1932–May, 1995) was a noted Canadian columnist and journalist.

Porteous was born in Saint John, New Brunswick on July 22, 1932. As a well-known and respected columnist and journalist, he was the voice of Miramichi pulp-cutter Ernie Freshet, a character who appeared regularly on CBC Radio.

He is the author of three collections of humour, They Choke Herring, Don't They? (1980), My Lobster is Double Parked (1981), and Here's Your Chainsaw, What's Your Hurry? (1984), as well as numerous commentaries for the CBC, numerous articles and columns for such publications as The Globe and Mail, TV Guide, and Reader's Digest, and a book of New Brunswick works of photography titled New Brunswick Images (1977). More recently, selections from They Choke Herring, Don't They? were included by author Will Ferguson in the Penguin Anthology of Canadian Humour (2006).

Porteous' work in the recording industry for Canadian independent label, Arc Records, included the signing of Anne Murray to her first record contract for her first recording on the album Singalong Jubilee Volume Three (1965), as Murray was then a participant on the CBC television musical/comedy show. Porteous also produced the album Echoes of the Atlantic (1963) on Maple Leaf Records for Newfoundland Country music artist, Dick Nolan (musician).

He died in Moncton, New Brunswick in May, 1995.