User:James Tuohy

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The One and Only James Tuohy.

1 Background
2 Accomplishments
3 Music Career
4 The Pencil
5 Awards
6 External links

[edit] Background

James Bartholomew Tuohy grew up in Akron, Ohio and was active in the Church choir. He attended Christian Brothers Academy where he played Varsity Bowling and graduated in 1996. He later graduated and went to Loyola College where he majored in comparative literature and minored in African Studies. Mr. Tuohy is a teacher at Christian Brothers Academy and teaches World History Standard, Advanced Placement World History, US II Standard, and 20th Century History. He is also a part-time waiter at Kelly's restaurant and bar. Contrary to popular belief and local lore, James Tuohy is indeed older than 13 years old (most likely 17). Some of his hobby's include coloring inside the lines, and writing poems for his dear sweet Jezabel. He was also a champion runner during high school, leading CBA to a state championship for three consecutive years. Tragically, he was injured in an accident the night before the championships in his senior year. He was unable to recover, and CBA lost. Many say he is still trying to recover from this emotional blow.

[edit] Accomplishments

Although he is widely unknown and unrecognized, he has accomplished a significant amount during his short life. He invented the peanut-snuffer, a trigonometric algorithm, and has sailed the seven seas. Though it is rumored that he single-handedly blew up Krakatoa, this is false, as is the rumor that he sunk Atlantis. He has mastered every known form of martial arts, and is a card-carrying ninja. He is the patron saint of pirates everywhere, and he has been known to shoot lightning bolts from his fingers, similar to the Emperor from Star Wars. In fact, many people who know him say that the Star Wars movies , the Indiana Jones movies, The Shawshank Redemption and Gladiator are all movies based on James Tuohy's past experiences. Needless to say, they are boring in comparison to the real McCoy. And though he has accomplished much in his short lifetime, Jimmy T will never rest until he is able to complete his destiny and get his Coca-Cola Classic from Jack Byrnes.

[edit] Music Career

When James was 15 he encountered a harp while browsing through selections in Jack's Music in Red Bank, New Jersey. Since that time James has recorded five CD's, playing with such greats as John Coltrane, Miles Davis, Ray Charles, Raffi, and Shania Twain. He is currently working on his sixth CD based on his childhood experiences at Camp Rushmore.

[edit] The Pencil

Those who have seen or have been graced by the presence of Mr. Tuohy may well be aware of his pencil. There are many theories as to the meaning of this mystical object- some say it is a tool, some say it is his source of knowledge, while others have gone as far as saying that this pencil holds the very life force that is James Tuohy. It is often speculated that the pencil is made up of a special alloy that aids him in creating fantastic methods of helping his students. Of course, his preferred method of torture is the DBQ, or Document Based Question. These DBQs are the bane of his students' existence. Despite a myriad of stories, this pencil has become the trademark of this man, and is the only thing more important to him than his Coca-Cola Classics.