User:Jabo

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This is just a way for me to save some writing i found: It doesnt pertain to you do not delete. // resources money spent the world is so much bigger than you or me how can one be afraid of people - and the games they play - out on the lawn and the tension and the impurities in the skin - watching yourself in the mirror and realizing how small and fucked up you are and how little you have accomplished -- but everyone is different and has things to make them happy, what makes you happy is not having to pay for happiness. learning how to be healthy and direct bloodflow to your face. scrounging pennies on the sidelines and using public resources and satisfying yourself with who you are and the extent of your ambitions. your ambition is to never change and to know lots of things worth talking about. some people are deep and act shallow, for others its the other way around. i want to pretend to be someone who has knowledge and advice to give. im always afraid of the consequences of becoming fidgety and wanting more than is directly available. and the city can be ugly, especially if your not confident and directly assertive. if you believe in yourself and have confidence you are right even if you know that you are wrong a little warmth can go a long way. and hispanic people who talk nonstop and look earnestly into your face. one was sick all the time. the other couldnt concentrate. the third didnt know what he wanted to do with his life -- maybe he would fall into pretension and become a hipster. we heard dancing and singing - but also the daily struggle of coming to this country and believing what people tell you. its hard to not have sympathy for the naivety of simply not knowing what your getting into. when the world thats in your head and the external world dont mesh sometimes you can be led astray. but she knew it was big and busy outside-- but instead she liked to confine herself to a single room, a pathway from front to back that she walked calmly many times during the day-- it gave her assurance. it was a big world out there, but she purposely made hers small. technology and standards and he was cleanshaven and well spoken and destined for a nice job and a nice life with a few standards of its own. he believed in good restaurants and independent films and pretending to be special. the fact is we all think were beautiful -- and we all are, in our own way, and to ourselves and to a few other people. we all think we have good posture, and something to contribute. and we all do, for a few people. but you cannot ask to burst out of your circle of a few people because outside of that is a very scary place -- all your assumptions and definitons become pointless. he worked on his goal slowly. people wondered at his ability to create something so beautiful in such a short time -- was he super percceptive and sensitive- -was he any different than most poeple? this question was built on a fallacy. and in the end what happens in our mind has little to do with what happens on the street. and she was so much better than him. and its hard to be secure with yourself when you are jealous of every single person that you see, for their freedom from doubt, their ambition, their steady purpose and ability to block out harmful things from their vision -- their gauranteed success in this world.

and the technology allows us to remember and it allows us to forget. and her voice sounded smooth and thin but it was alive and she wasnt afraid to use it. we grew up together. no we didnt thats a lie. the school is so big what are we doing here. we cant explain our backgrounds but sometimes we can laugh at the common jokes. im not common to anything because im just going to pass out.