It Couldn't Happen Here (film)

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Sinclair Lewis's novel of a similar name can be found at It Can't Happen Here.

It Couldn't Happen Here
It Couldn't Happen Here poster
Directed by	Jack Bond
Produced by	Jack Bond Martin Haxby
Written by	Jack Bond James Dillon Neil Tennant Chris Lowe
Starring	Neil Tennant Chris Lowe Joss Ackland Neil Dickson Gareth Hunt Barbara Windsor
Distributed by	EMI Films/PMI (UK) Liberty Films (USA)
Release date(s)	July 8, 1988
Running time	87 minutes
Language	English
Budget	?
IMDb profile

It Couldn't Happen Here is a Pet Shop Boys movie released in 1988. It was originally conceived as an hour-long video based around their album Actually, but it turned into a surreal full-scale feature film directed by Jack Bond and co-starring Barbara Windsor, Joss Ackland and Gareth Hunt.

[edit] Plot summary

It is the early morning in Clacton-on-Sea. Some dancers are warming up on the beach, and Neil Tennant appears on a bicycle. The song "It couldn't happen here" is being played. He cycles up to a kiosk, where he buys some postcards from the shopkeeper (Gareth Hunt). The shopkeeper complains about the political faults of the modern world, but Neil ignores him and fills out his postcards.

Meanwile, Chris Lowe is at a Bed & breakfast. He is in his room packing everything into a seemingly bottomless trunk. He runs downstairs and waits for the landlady (Barbara Windsor) to bring him breakfast. In the breakfast room, a Uncle Dredge (Gareth Hunt) is making bad jokes. When the huge fried breakfast arrives, Chris empties the contents of the tray over the landlady and runs out onto the street. He runs along the promenade being chased by a group of Hells Angels on bikes.

Back at the beach, Neil continues to cycle along the beach. He passes a priest (Joss Ackland) who is reciting verses whilst leading a party of school children. Two of the boys are the Pet Shop Boys at a younger age and they run to the pier. In a building on the pier, the adult Neil is seeing an exotically dress female fortune teller, as he leaves she uncovers her face to reveal that "she" is Chris Lowe. The young Neil and Chris look in a Victorian era Mutoscope and see a short bedroom farce: a slapstick performance featuring a squire (Chris Lowe) and a butler (Neil Tennant) making advances to a French maid (Barbara Windsor). The priest catches up with the boys and shouts more verses at them. The boys escape into the amusement arcade where they see a rock star (Neil Tennant) in a gold tassled suit. Then they pass into a theatre, where they see a group of nuns perform a risqué dance routine to "It's a sin". The priest catches up with them again and he takes them outside where it is now the evening. On the pier, he commands twelve fisherman to haul a hufe cross out of the sea and onto their ship.

The adult Neil and Chris pass three rappers performing "West End girls" and go to buy a classic car. The salesman (Neil Dickson) insists on presenting his gull sales spiel, so Neil and Chris try to interrupt. They pay for the car in cash and drive off with Chris at the wheel. In the car, the news report on the radio tells of a hitch hiker who has hacked to death three people who have given him lifts. Chris pulls over for a female hitch hiker who they see on the road side, but it's a man (Joss Ackland) who gets in. The passenger fits the description of the murder from the radio. He turns up the radio when "Always on my mind" begins and quotes the same verses that the priest said earlier in the film. Eventually he asks to be let out and the Pet Shop Boys continue unharmed.

Pet Shop Boys sit on a station platform watching a zebra being led into a van (screenshot from Pet Shop Boys, annually (1988))

They arrive at a transport cafe where they're sat next to a traveller (Gareth Hunt). They order an inappropriate gourmet meal, but the waitress doesn't flinch. At another table a pilot (Neil Dickson) fiddles frustratedly with a hand-held computer game that goes "divided by... divided by... zero" (taking lyrics from "Two divided by zero"). A voice from the traveller's briefcase asks to be let out and the traveller does so, revealing a ventriloquist's dummy. The dummy starts philosophising about the concept of time. He asks whether time can be likened to a teacup in that a teacup is no longer a teacup if no one has the intention to use it as such. To shut him up Neil puts a record on the jukebox ("Rent") and the wall of the cafe rises to reveal some dancers.

Meanwhile, the pilot is seen back in his office reading a book about time. After a while he reaches a conclusion that "the man's a blasted existentialist". He boards his plane, determined to put an end to such daftness. Neil and Chris are driving along a country lane, when the pilot attacks. "Two Divided By Zero" is playing. The car is covered with bullet holes but the Pet Shop Boys drive on, again unharmed.

They stop by a telephone box which is being vandalised by a group of youths. Instead of attacking Neil, they politely open the door for him and he phones his mother (Barbara Windsor). The two of them exchange the lines to "What Have I Done To Deserve This?". At the end Neil puts his head against the broken glass on the door and blood appears.

A commuter covered in flames leaves for work (screenshot from Pet Shop Boys, annually (1988))

In a suburban street a commuter leaves home and there is a scantily clad woman in his upstairs window. He is covered in flames but doesn't seem to notice. At the railway station, a zebra is led into a goods van. Neil and Chris sit on the platform watching, then get into another van where a large snake coils itself around them. The van takes them to Paddington station.

At Paddington station, army soldiers stand guard around and there is a limo waiting for Neil and Chris. They get in and drive through a tunnel as the chauffeur (Neil Dickson) quotes passages from Milton's Paradise Lost at them. They are driven through a battlefield with bombs exploding all around them. They pull up by a nightclub and Neil and Chris enter. They perform "One more chance" to a crowd of dancers. Each dancer has a number on their back. Once the song is finished, Neil and Chris walk up the stairs to leave and on their back are numbers too - except that both of them read "0".

[edit] Featured songs

The movie features the following Pet Shop Boys songs, either in their original form, played as background music or sung by the characters:

Barbara Windsor sings the lyrics to "What have I done to deserve this?" to Neil Tennant over the phone (screenshot from Pet Shop Boys, annually (1988))

• "It couldn't happen here" (from the album Actually)
• "Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money)" (from the album Please)
• "Hit music" (from the album Actually)
• "It's a sin" (from the album Actually)
• "What have I done to deserve this?" (from the album Actually)
• "Rent" (from the album Actually)
• "West End girls" (from the album Please)
• "Always on my mind" (from the album Introspective)
• "Two divided by zero" (from the album Please)
• "King's Cross" (from the album Actually)
• "One more chance" (from the album Actually)
• "I want to wake up" (from the album Actually)

[edit] Soundtrack Tracklisting

[edit] MC: Parlophone / TC-PSB1 (UK)

1. "It couldn't happen here" (5:17)
2. "Suburbia" (5:07)
3. "It's a sin [Extended version]" (7:39)
4. "West End girls" (4:41)
5. "Always on my mind" (3:59)
6. "Rent" (5:09)
7. "Two divided by zero" (3:32)
8. "What have I done to deserve this? [Extended version]" (4:17)
9. "King's Cross" (5:11)
10. "One more chance" (5:28)
11. "I want to wake up" (5:09)

• only 200 copies on cassette were made and given out as promotional items

[edit] Cast

• Pet Shop Boys/Neil Tennant & Chris Lowe - Themselves
• Joss Ackland - Priest/Murderer
• Neil Dickson - Salesman/Pilot/Chauffeur
• Gareth Hunt - Uncle Dredge/Postcard seller/Ventriloquist
• Barbara Windsor - Neil's mother/Landlady/French Maid

[edit] DVD/VHS release

It Couldn't Happen Here was available on VHS but this has now been discontinued. A laserdisc release was also available in the USA and Japan but this has also been discontinued.

Pet Shop Boys have mentioned an eventual DVD release on their official site when questioned by fans, but nothing has been announced. Pet Shop Boys have recently re-released their older VHS releases on DVD. In 2004, they re-released their 1991 Performance tour on DVD and they have mentioned further plans for a similar re-release of their 1994 Discovery tour.

[edit] Trivia

• The original idea of making a film emerged from the band's immense reluctance to go on tour. The band hoped that a film would satisfy the fan's demand to see them in live action.^{[citation needed]}
• When the film premiered in London's West End, a crowd of fans were standing outside the cinema, waiting for the duo to arrive. However, as both Neil and Chris approached the crowd, they went completely unnoticed thanks to their anonymous appearance, and managed to walk past them.^{[citation needed]}
• The music video for the single "Always on my mind" is a compilation of clips from the film.
• The working title for the movie was A Hard Day's Shopping, a reference to The Beatles' film A Hard Day's Night and the Pet Shop Boys song "Shopping" from the album Actually.^{[citation needed]}
• An album of the songs from It Couldn't Happen Here was planned, but was cancelled as it would just include tracks from Please and Actually. There was a promotional cassette released though which featured all music from the film and is now highly sought after.^{[citation needed]}
• Although the film was poorly received by critics,^{[citation needed]} it did receive an award at the WorldFest Film Festival in Houston, 1988.^{[citation needed]}
• The clip where a man exits the King's Cross Station on fire was to be deleted due to the King's Cross station fire, however it remained at the request of the victims' families.^{[citation needed]}

[edit] External links

• Pet Shop Boys Official Site
• At Dead Of Night PSB fan site
• It Couldn't Happen Here on Google Video