Talk:IPod/PeerReview1

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Everyone knows about these MP3 players, and I believe the article is now ready to become a featured article - but first it needs to be peer reviewed carefully so that we're all certain its ready. — Wackymacs 12:23, 10 May 2006 (UTC)

This might sound overly critical, but here's what I think needs to be improved with the article:

It's too long. Some parts talk too much about the specific models, when they already have their own individual articles. I think someone already mentioned this on the talk page (might be in archives).

It needs structural improvements so that readers can skim through the contents and immediately identify what's good and what's bad about the product. All the pros in one section, and the cons in another section, instead of being spread throughout the whole article.

Someone did a good job of putting all the references in one section, but they still need a tidy up - with all the citations being properly formatted. Some of them are duplicates. Look at the Super Mario 64 article for an example of good referencing.

Some of the photography for the products is not so good. Too much orange light or too close up, or part of the product is cut off the edge, or just untidy/lacking focus. Also, the image sizes and angle of camera shot are inconsistent.

Lack of cohesion. For example, there are about 3 different paragraphs that talk about sound quality, all spread out (Software > EQ settings and bass distortion, Hardware > Technical performance, and iPod shuffle > end of 1st paragraph). The article feels like a collection of separate mini articles, instead of one free flowing article.

--IE 15:45, 10 May 2006 (UTC)

Yes, above everything else, it's WAY too long (presently 81k, I'd aim at less than half of that for an article of this scope). That also means that little is missing, content-wise. The references need some formatting (preferably using cite templates). I won't complain about the product photography, since I feel there's still a few too many fair use images in there (Do we really need images of both Harry Potter special editions, for example? Or the BMW remote?). The "Advertising" needs to become prose, and I'd also like to see some analysis of Apple's target audience there, since the iPod basically brought the portable MP3 player to the masses - how did they do it? I'll also make a timelines for the article, unless someone has a reason against it. Buut above everything else, shorten mercilessly. -- grm_wnr Esc 17:27, 10 May 2006 (UTC)

Great stuff guys, this helps! I've cut the article down to 76k so far (all by my own too, hehe!) - I've also removed more fair use images, and have added more "free use" ones from the WikiCommons. The advertising section has been changed to prose, but still needs work. A few other tid bits have been changed. — Wackymacs 17:58, 10 May 2006 (UTC)

• Use a decent referencing system. I think to be FA, you want to use a system with date accessed/name etc.. ?. Nice work though. Cvene64 18:12, 10 May 2006 (UTC)
  • Indeed, the Cite web template needs to be used, but thats a lot of work to do on more than 40 links! — Wackymacs 18:22, 10 May 2006 (UTC)

• I have now cut it down to 71k from the original 81k. Still work to be done... — Wackymacs 20:13, 10 May 2006 (UTC)

The Models section really cold be trimmed down significantly - shifting a lot of the content out into another article (or several article) and describing them in summary style would be an option worth considering to get the article to a more managable size. Should the design section come before the capabilities section?--Peta 00:36, 11 May 2006 (UTC)