International Drinking Rules

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Part of the series on Popular drinking games

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The International Drinking Rules (also sometimes called the Standard Rules, or Gentlemen's Rules of Imbibage) may be used during any drinking game, or social gathering whose participants are aware of the rules. Additionally, these rules may be added to other drinking games which allow players to add custom rules (Such as when a 1&2 are rolled in Three man). The rules are intentionally complex, and may be made more complex at will, such being the delightful benefit of arbitrary games.

Contents 1 Rules 1.1 Verbal restrictions 1.2 Physical restrictions 1.3 Special Appointments 1.4 Goal 2 Forfeits

[edit] Rules

There are a large number of variants on the rules but common ones can be divided into subcategories. Bear in mind that not all of the following rules are used in all cases, so it is generally up to the President or a person of some other position of authority to give a brief description of the rules that are to apply.

[edit] Verbal restrictions

• Nobody may utter the word "drink" or any of its forms (drank, drunk, drinking, etc.)
  • Other banned classes of word may include body parts or less sophisticated vernacular terms (example: one may "imbibe two digits of ale", but one may not "drink two fingers of beer").
• Nobody may use another player's name.
  • Some versions of the rules allow the use of title and surname (e.g. "Mr. Tritton", but not "Sam"), but most disallow the use of any legal name or nickname.
• Nobody may swear, blaspheme or sully Her Majesty The Queen.
• When accusing someone of breaking the rules, formal address must be used (example: "Forfeit, Mr. Smith, vulgar language" in the event of John Smith using the word "drink").
• Discussing any of the above or below rules is frowned upon.
• Players may also be required to utter a particular phrase before they consume. Some examples are:
  • Social Security Number
  • PIN
  • Telephone number
  • Yarrrr! (Like a pirate)
  • Dean Martin! (Only required before chugging a drink. If player fails to shout the name of said crooner, a second drink must immediately be chugged)
  • I'm a Little Teapot
  • Ziggy socky, ziggy socky, hoi hoi hoi!
  • I'm as STRONG AS BEAR!
• Players may have to say "in my pants" at the end of every sentence.
• Other colloquial variations disallow the use of the number 2 instead "couple" can be used.

[edit] Physical restrictions

• No player may point at another player.
  • Most versions only disallow pointing with a finger - elbows are a popular alternative.
  • Some versions also disallow use of the aforementioned P word; 'oint' is the common variant.
• Players must always drink using the left hand (or non-dominant hand in some cases). When the wrong hand has been used, fellow drinkers shout "BUFFALO" indicating the offence has been committed - CO, Brunel. More complicated implementations of this rule include:
  • No pinkie finger may touch a glass (beverages must be swigged with the pinkie extended).
  • Players must use only the left hand to drink socially, and only the right to drink forfeits (or vice versa). The rhyme "left for pleasure, right for measure" is used to jog the memory; unfortunately it works just as well as "left for measure, right for pleasure" or any other variation.
  • "Drinking with the clock" - players drink socially with the minute hand of the clock, and drink penalties against the minute hand. So, if the minute hand of the clock is on the left side of the clock face, the player drinks socially using his left hand, and drinks penalties or forfeits using his right hand.
• Players must "tap out" when intending to leave the table, by tapping twice on the Designated Drinking Surface.
• All glasses on the Designated Drinking Surface must be placed at least an index finger's length from the edge of the Surface; offending glasses must be emptied of their contents by the culprit for health and safety reasons.
• No empty glass may touch the Designated Drinking Surface until the player has EG'ed - also known as double tapping (tapping the glass twice upon the chest, head or table); players who violate this rule must buy and consume another beverage immediately.
• Players must remove the "Little Green Man" (who is invisible) from the top of their glass before they drink, and return him to his perch after they are done. Players may also add men of different colors, and require that various actions be performed with them as well.
• No player may "Accept" anything. Particularly dangerous when someone brings back a new beverage. If a player accepts the drink from the buyer's hand then they drink the fine. The way to avoid it is by insisting they place it on a table or the Drinking surface prior to picking it up. This rule applies to everything, including money for new rounds. Hardcore players will also include verbal passing such as complements and insults! (e.g. That's a nice shirt, You're an idiot)
• No "Hands" may touch the legs. If a player is caught with their hands on their legs they drink the fine.
• Save The Queen: should a penny be dropped into a beverage, its owner must shout "God Save the Queen!" and consume the entire contents of the vessel as quickly as is humanly possible, in order to prevent the Sovereign's image on the coin from "drowning". Often the other persons present will be expected to stand, remove any headgear and sing the national anthem until the imbiber has finished the beverage. See Pennying.
• The use of a mobile telephone (voice or text) is strictly prohibited and will result in a forfeit.
  • Hardcore versions include forfeits for incoming calls/texts as well as outgoing.

[edit] Special Appointments

• A player is appointed the Thumb Master. If the Thumb Master places his or her thumb on the edge of the table, all other players must do the same surreptitiously (and using the correct thumb according to which the current drinking hand is). The last one to do so must finish his beverage, and is then appointed the new Thumb Master.
  • The new Thumb Master may, at his or her discretion and without notifying the other players, choose a different body part (e.g. foot, forehead) to put on the table.
  • Other appointments may be made along the same lines as described above. For example, the Jive Master (when the Jive Master does a dance, all other players perform the same dance), the Freeze Master (everyone must freeze in the same pose as the Freeze Master) or the Head Master (places head on table, all other players must race to place their heads on the table, not recommended for novices). Also there is the position of Wife Beater Master (generally women are not expected to partake in this activity, and it must be predetermined that all present should be sporting this item of clothing under their shirt). If the Wife Beater Master is to remove his shirt and whirl it above his head, all others present are expected to do so. The last person to carry out the given task drinks a forfeit and becomes the new Master. Another special appointment is the "crab master". If the appointed crab master acts out the sequence of hands simulating claws accompanied by a suitable vocal exclamation then the rest of the party must follow, where the last person to simulate the "crab style movements" must undergo a predetermined forfeit.
• A Grenade Master may be appointed and if he, at any time, calls "grenade", then all players must immediately take up a safe position on the floor, lying flat on their fronts with their hands covering their heads. The last person to take up this position must usually drink whiskey to alleviate the pain of the grenade shrapnel, although this may be replaced with other forfeits. Any beverages that are caused to spill by players who do not exercise due care in taking up their safety positions normally entail stiff punishments for their owners.
  • In order to keep the thumbmaster from forgetting his job, some players may require thumbmaster to use his power (and relinquish it to another player) before his next turn.
• A player is appointed Old Father Time, and is responsible for announcing the minute hand's changing sides of the clock face (thus requiring the other players to change drinking hands). Traditional cries include "Drink to the left/right!" (as appropriate): this is particularly confusing as it does not actually inform the fellow players whether to drink from the declared side socially or in forfeit. Also, the cry of "Bing Bong" can be used, which can give even less indication of the correct hand.
• A player is appointed Mr. President, responsible for clarifying existing rules and introducing new ones arbitrarily.
• A player is appointed Mr. Weights and Measures, responsible for enforcing forfeits and ensuring that all players have access to sufficient liquid nourishment.
  • Mr. Weights and Measures can arbitrarily command the immediate consumption of all drinks on the table at any time by calling Last Orders, although he is normally made responsible for procuring a new round. A state of Last Orders exists even if Mr. Weights and Measures mentioned the phrase only in passing, without the intention of declaring it officially.
    • After calling Last Orders, the office of Mr. Weights and Measures passes to his left.
• A player may be appointed The Snitch, responsible for reporting any drinking offences to Mr President.
• A player may be appointed The Snitch's Snitch, responsible for reporting any missed drinking offences by the Snitch to Mr President. The Snitch then receives the forfeit that would have been given to the offending player.
• There may be a need for an Attire or Dress Master, whose appointment it is to ensure that all present are correctly dressed at all times. If such an offence is spotted and reported, the player must fix his dress and proceed to consume two fingers or the entirety of his beverage.
• A player may be appointed Question Master. If this player asks another player a question of any sort, the correct response is "F**k off"; nothing else. In alternative rules, any response to the Question Master must be in the form of a question. As such, a response of "F**k off" shall result in a forfeit.

[edit] Goal

• To be forcibly ejected from the drinking establishment by the owner/proprietor.

[edit] Forfeits

The penalty for breaking a rule is inevitably to drink a hearty swig of ale (or agreed equivalent). The usual measure is two digits, although this can be increased at the discretion of Mr Weights and Measures. An extension of this (known as Prisoner's Rules) is that one or both of those sitting directly next to the rule breaker must also drink the penalty. More severe crimes against etiquette can incur the finishing of one's current drink, the purchase and consumption of an entirely new drink, or harsher still, the finishing of one's current drink followed immediately by the complete consumption of a subsequent drink.

Falsely accusing another player of breaching etiquette is considered extremely bad form, and concordantly often results in a harsh punishment.