User:InsaneAsylum

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Hello. I escaped the insane asylum. Make me a sammich!

Please keep all brains and other appendages in the Pelican at all times; it is not our problem that the black tigers of Uranus like radioactive pickles with tuxedoes. Thank you.

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`-.,.__._._,,...---:::" i pwn j00 n00bzerz!11elevenone lololol i r teh haxxorz1

You can't ban someone from a talk page... Can you?

Puppets: ShadowCrystal

Best website ever --> [1]

E lyh cbayg Al Bhed! [2]

WHEEEEE!!!!

I LIKE BOTANY RICE CANDY!!! XD LMAO

"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome." -Isaac Asimov

NS-5 Robot: [Jumps on car and breaks windscreen] You are experiencing a car accident.

Detective Del Spooner: Like hell I am!

"It's survival of the fittest, Max, and we've got the fucking gun."- Marcy Dawson from Pi

"So seriously did Spartan children go about their stealing, that a boy, having stolen a young fox and hid it under his cloak, let it tear out his guts with its teeth and claws and died right there, rather than let it be seen." -Plutarch

deviantART: Bio-Wolfen.deviantART.com

MSN Messenger: zenacry_nuva@hotmail.com

LiveJournal: zenacry_litiaru (for one of my roleplay characters)

Favorite video games: Katamari Damacy, We Love Katamari, Half-Life 2, Resident Evil 4 and Halo 2

Xanga: Zenacry (for my roleplay character w/ the LiveJournal)

Proboards: tehbattlefield.proboards99.com

Current obsession: Gordon Freeman from Half-Life 2

1 Red vs. Blue Quotes!
2 Songs
3 Most recent drawing of DOOM!
4 Zenacry's Secrets

[edit] Red vs. Blue Quotes!

[Sarge sees Tucker, Caboose, and O'Malley through his sniper scope]

Sarge: Well, you won't believe this, but it looks like the Blues have teamed up with O'Malley. Those dirty backstabbers!

Grif: Our enemies teamed up with our enemy. How is that a backstab?

Sarge: Exactly! No-good two-timers! Alright men, let's get in there and aquire that exploding translator thing so we can figure out what Lopez is saying!

Lopez:[Subtitled] You're just going to be dissapointed.

Sarge: I agree, Lopez. Time is of the essence.

Lopez:[Subtitled] Why do you bother replying if you don't know what I'm saying?

Sarge: Hehehe, good one, amigo.

Lopez:[Subtitled] Oh God, someone please kill me.

Sarge: I see the bomb, It's right next to Caboose.

Grif: Which one is Caboose again? I get confused. Is he the stupid mean one, the stupid annoying one or the stupid stupid one.

Simmons: STUPID stupid.

Grif: Oh yeah, right... What an idiot.

Simmons: Yeah, totally.

Donut: Sarge, I hate to point out the obvious, but since we can see them with a sniper rifle, why don't we just shoot 'em?

Sarge: Shame on you, Donut. A sniper rifle is a coward's weapon! When you kill your enemy, you want to look in his eyes so he knows you're the one who beat him to death! It also gives you the chance to deliver some really zippy one-liners. Like 'I hope you brought your wallet, because the rent in hell gets payed in advance!'

Grif: [Sigh] Oh my god.

Sarge: Or my personal favorite 'You just got Sarged!' hehehe, classic.

Lopez: [Subtitled] I mean it. I want to die.

Sarge: Yup, hand-to-hand combat is the old-school way to kill your foes. It harkens back to the honored traditions when combatants respected one another. Killing a man with your bare hands says "We're all equals as men, except I'm slightly more equal 'cause I'm still alive and you're dead." Of course dropping a nuke on them from fifty-thousand feet is also totally acceptable. I mean, let's face it, there's just not enough time in this busy world to show everybody the courtesy of a good strangling.

Grif: See! that right there is why society is going downhill; Everyone's in such a hurry these days.

Simmons: Yeah yeah yeah, we get the point, wasting time. Okay, what was the plan Sarge?

[Sarge is sneaking up behind Caboose to try and steal Andy]

Sarge: [Grabs Andy and replaces him with Lopez] Yoink!

Caboose: Andy?

[Caboose looks around]

Caboose: ...Andy?

[He sees Lopez on the ground]

Caboose: What happened to you?

Lopez: [Subtitled] Quick, before they come back. Dig a hole and bury me. Please.

Caboose: Andy! You turned into a real boy!

Caboose: Now you see Andy, now we can go fishing, and you don't have to be the bait anymore, and we can hiking, and we can go camping and you don't have to be the fire anymore, and we can running together, and now we can hold hands, and we can fly kites, [Begins to run out of breath] and we can play tag and we can drink orange juice together!

Sarge: Hey Caboose! You hear something behind you!

Caboose: I do? I wonder what's causing it. [He turns around]

Sarge: [Grabs Lopez and replaces him with a skull] Double yoink!

Caboose: Andy?...OH MY GOD! ANDY! You're dead! How did this happen? You were so young! It's all my fault, I should've seen the warning sign! I didn't even know you were smoking! It works so fast! You had so much to live for, so much exploding to do! Oh God! Who'll blow stuff up now? I don't want to live in a world without exploding! You hear that God? Are you proud of yourself? Now that you've created a world with no large explosions? Why couldn't you just take Tucker instead? He can't explode! At least I don't think he can. But even if he could it wouldn't be the same! Andy's exploding was special. Why, God? Why?......Oh Andy!

Church: Andy, this is Doc. Doc, this is Andy. Uh, Andy, Doc is here to uh help Tucker. And he's also our worst enemy. You know, besides the reds... And Tex on certain days.

O'Malley: Well thank you for introducing me to your bowling ball. Hello bowling ball.

Andy: Actually I'm a bomb.

O'Malley: That can talk?

Andy: Why is that the first thing that everybody says to me?

O’Malley: A talking bomb you say? Hmmm I could use a fellow like you in my organization.

Church: Yeah... I should probably point out that Andy here was specifically designed to blow up and kill you.

O’Malley: I see...well this is certainly awkward.

Andy: KABOOM!

O’Malley: SATAN'S BUNIONS!

Andy: Hahaha I was just kidding. I didn’t really explode.

Church: Hehe, good one.

O’Malley: Yes, highly amusing.

Church: Hey, you don't think it's the sword that's makin' him sick, do you?

Caboose: I don't see how. It hasn't sneezed once.

Church: We don't know anything about it though. Maybe it runs on radiation and it's poisoning him.

Caboose: Or, maybe it runs on solar power!

Church: Why would solar power make him sick?

Caboose: Is he a Republican?

Wyoming: Tex?

Tex: Wyoming!?

Caboose: Connecticut!

Tucker: They're not playing a game, Caboose...

Caboose: Well, if they were... I would've totally won.

Andy: Hey, he's been explaining to me everything we should encounter. The legend's pretty old, but the details are pretty clear.

Tucker: Listen dude, I don't care what you say, I'm not killing any monsters.

Andy: Hey, don't interrupt! It's hard enough to translate without yo-

Tucker: Oh well if this little quest depends on me killing stuff, we might as well just stop here.

Andy: Eh, don't be a chicken.

Tucker: I'm not chicken. I'm just... okay, I'm chicken.

Alien: Blarh? B-blar blarg.

Andy: Blargy blarg, blarg, blarg honk.

Alien: Wharg hnnk!

Tucker: What's he saying?

Andy: He wanted to know what a chicken is. I told him it's this nasty little bird that humans eat. And you also eat the white things that shoot out of its butt.

Tucker: You know you could have cleaned that up a little bit.

Andy: I did! They don't come out of its butt you know.

Alien: Hargh!

Andy: Heh yeah, they're pretty disgusting.

Tucker: Chickens aren't that bad.

Andy: He was talkin' about you guys. He's not a big fan. I'm not either.

Alien: Hrnk.

Andy: Earth sucks.

Tucker: Hsh, Earth does not suck, Earth rules. We invented the telephone.

Alien: Arg l largh.

Andy: He says they invented the telephone too. And they did it a thousand years before you did.

Tucker: Oh, well what'd they have to say on it, "blarg blarg honk honk?" Who the fuck wants to hear that?

Church: First of all, I don't know if calling you on the phone and inviting you over? I don't know if that qualifies as an elaborate scheme. And secondly, we're not ambushing you. We just wanna lay down some ground rules for your visit.

O'Malley: I'm not very big on rules, you know.

Doc: It's true! We had this system back at the evil lair where we each clean on different days, but I always end up doing it!

O'Malley: Oh shut up!

Doc: And he always leaves the milk out!

O'Malley: You fool! Be quiet.

Doc: And don't even get me started on the phone bill.

Church: Hey Doc, I see you're still swimmin' around in that head somewhere too.

Doc: Well it's not the ideal situation, but any relationship requires work if you-

O'Malley: You fool! This isn't a relationship, I'm just using your body to fulfill my evil plans. When we're done, I'm going to throw your rotting carcus in to a swamp, and let the beasts feed on your entrails, huhuhuhuhahahahaa.

Doc: I love you too buddy.

O'Malley: Oh shut up.

Simmons: Sarge, finally, I need to tell you what the Blues are planning.

Sarge: I thought I told you idiots not to let this traitorous scumbag in the base!

Simmons: Good to see you too Sir.

Grif: We didn't let him in the base.

Sarge: He's standing right here.

Grif: Well obviously he penetrated the defensive protocol that me and Private Donut established.

Simmons: Defense protocol? You asked me what the password was.

Grif: And you knew it.

Simmons: I guessed it. By the way, the password was 'password.'

Grif: It's so obvious, it's impossible to guess!

Sarge: Diabolical.

Simmons: A password should contain at least one number, and one letter. For example, your password would be 2dumb2live.

Sarge: Excellent burn.

Simmons: Thank you Sir.

Sarge: Traitor.

Simmons: Dammit.

Tucker: Let me just put it this way; I felt less threatened when Tex was staring at just the sword.

Tex: Huh what- oh, fyeuh uhm, yeah, uh- I was just admiring his, his Alien, muscle structure.

Tucker: Yeah one particular part of his muscle structure.

Tex: Well that's just a matter of penis- I mean uh, opinion, opinion, that's, that's it.

Church: Smooth.

Caboose: You told me it was another arm.

Alien: Bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurgh!

Andy: Hey Caboose- high five!

Caboose: I don't want to do that any more.

Church: Tucker come here, I want to talk to you for a second. Listen, just drop off this weapon, and get back to Blue Base as fast as you can.

Tucker: What if I have to kill stuff dude? I'm a lover, not a fighter.

Church: Hey now Tucker I'm the same way. That's why we get along so well. We're both just a couple of lovers.

Tucker: ...That sounded kinda gay dude.

Church: Yeah it did. Uhm... I feel obligated to say something encouraging as your boss.

Tucker: Our Captain died. You're just the guy pretending to be my boss.

Church: We, you know in our given situation technically you could be seen as one of my employees.

Tucker: Except that I'm not.

Church: Echch, whatever! Listen, I just, as, as someone in an employee/manager relationship-

Tucker: Which doesn't exist.

Church: Heuhhhhhhh...

Tucker: Why did you pull me aside again?

Church: You know I'm sure it was to say something inspiring or, something but now I, just don't care.

Sarge: Well, this is a tough one. Simmons appears to have captured Grif. Which means we're down a man. And now that man has taken Grif prisoner. So does that make us even? What's one plus a turd? Dammit only Grif can screw up math!

Church: Ah just get everybody the same thing, that's what I did.

Tucker: Let me guess. Everyone's getting a lump of coal.

Church: Fuck no! You know how much coal costs? Like five bucks a ton! I'm not spending that much on you losers! You're all gettin' a lump of smoal.

Tucker: What's smoal?

Church: It's a knockoff synthetic coal. It's just as good as the real thing, except when you burn it it doesn't make any heat, just makes smoke.

Tucker: Huh, what? How does it make smoke with no heat?

Church: How the fuck do I know? Ask the fine makers of smoal.

Sarge: This year, Grif resolves to quit drinking, smoking, and overeating.

Grif: Fuck that, I'm no quitter!

Sarge: Also to die.

Caboose: ...Private Donut? That sounds like Private Biscuit!

Donut: [sobbing] Yes. It, does.

Sarge: I love blood and violence! I've got a boner for murder!

O'Malley: I haven't been here in quite some time. Which one's the blue base?

Doc: It's the blue one.

O'Malley: Oh yes. They're really thinking outside the box on the design.

Sarge: No-one cares what a convicted criminal thinks.

Simmons: But aren't I innocent until you prove me guilty?

Sarge: Nonsense! Why would we waste time having trials for innocent people? That would be a waste of resources.

Simmons: But I'm not guilty until you hold trial and convict me.

Sarge: So you admit it's a foregone conclusion!

Simmons: No- wait, I mean no- yes-no, that was right, I think.

Grif: Okay, this is officially more boring than any of the other times I've been to court. Permission to sigh and walk away Sir?

Sarge: Permission denied. If you leave, Simmons won't have anybody to defend him!

Simmons: Whowowowhoa wait a second, I prefer to defend myself.

Sarge: I knew you'd say that, and as the old saying goes, a person who chooses to defend himself, has a fool for a lawyer. And that fool is Grif.

Grif: Who's the prosecution?

Sarge: Why I am of course.

Simmons: You're the judge and the prosecutor? That's a conflict of interest.

Sarge: I object to that as speculative. And I also sustain my own objection.

Grif: Uh, we'd like to enter a plea.

Simmons: What?

Grif: Look it's only a matter of time before Donut finds out we're having this trial.

Sarge: I'm listening.

Grif: Well, if you're the judge and the DA, and I'm the defense, you know Donut's gonna wanna be the bailiff, and that means he's gonna wanna wear the cop uniform with the short shorts.

Simmons: Uhh, Officer Hot-pants.

Grif: Exactly. And I think we can all remember that dance routine from Sarge's birthday party.

Cut to Grif and Simmons from the past looking at an enormous cake *

Simmons: Oh my God, that cake is huge! It's big enough to fit a person in it.

Grif: Why does the cake smell like baby oil? Oh God, where's Donut?!

Cut back to Law & Order *

Sarge: Hrh, okay. We'll commute Simmons' sentence in favour of time served.

Grif: With time off for good behaviour.

Sarge: No-one wants a messy trial.

Grif: I also think he should pay a hefty fine, which we can split.

Sarge: Agreed.

Simmons: But I didn't do anything.

Grif: You just keep your mouth shut. And don't talk to the Press.

Church: Okay guys, I don't mean to be rude, but I've got a missing girlfriend, a guy who's pregnant, an idiot who just thinks his pet just died, AND our worst enemy is hanging out unsupervised at our base right now, so I really, really REALLY don't have time for this horse-shit right now!

[awkward silence]

Grif: Uh, what was that part about the pregnant guy?

Church: Well, don't get any bright ideas about jumping into anyone else today, O'malley. We've all got our radios off, and we've all got our minds cleared. We're not thinking about anything. [Glances at Caboose] For some of us that was... easier than others.

Caboose: I just stopped thinking about something, and didn't start thinking about anything else!

Church: Yeah, yeah, okay. [clears throat] Here we go.

[No-one moves]

Tucker: ...We're still not moving.

Caboose: Does talking count as moving?

[Tex steps forward]

Tex: Alright screw it. You guys get behind me, and stay tight.

Tucker: Bow chicka bow wow!

Tex: Never mind, Tucker's in front.

Tucker: Eh, it was worth it.

Tex: Alright, I think I can take 'em. I just need a better weapon.

Tucker: Want me to help you find one?

Tex: Mm, why don't you just give me your sword?

Tucker: No way, I can see right through your little ploy. You just want me to give you the sword.

Tex: That's what I just said.

Tucker: Yeah, but it's the way you said it.

Tex: You know, it's a good thing that that sword doesn't run on brainpower. Oh my God, Tucker, look! Hot chicks!

Tucker: Nice try, you just want me to turn around so you can knock me out and take the sword.

Tex: Now the hot girls are makin' out!

Tucker: Okay, that's worth the risk. [turns around] Eauhw, crap!

[Tex knocks him out]

Doc: Hey guys? I've figured out what's wrong.

Church: What is it Doc.

Doc: You're not gonna like the diagnosis.

O'Malley: Hmhmhmhm which is ironic, because I think it's absolutely delightful, muhahahaha.

Church: Just tell us Doc, we can take it.

Doc: Your friend is-

Caboose: Dying? Oh no!

Doc: No, he's not dying, he just has-

Caboose: No chance to live. I knew it!

Church: Caboose? One more interruption outta you, and he's gonna have two patients.

Doc: How do I say this, your friend is ... ...

Church: Why are you pausing? Caboose is not gonna interrupt you this time.

Doc: No, that was just for dramatic effect. He's pregnant.

Caboose: Oh good. ...Wait what?

O'Malley: Hmhmhmhmhm, preggers, muahaha.

Church: Alright, are we paying for this service, because, if we are, I want a refund. And if we're not, I want a refund anyway.

Doc: No it's true, we found two heartbeats. So unless he has two hearts, the only logical explanation is that he's pregnant. ...I think.

Church: How is that a logical explanation? Alright, one of the two of you has some explaining to do.

Andy: Haha, don't look at me, Tucker's not my type.

Caboose: Pshah, me neither. And, uh maybe we should um have the doctor explain, uh just how, babies are made, yknow uh in case someone, in the group, uuh may not exactly know how, that, happens.

Church: Oh my God Caboose, shut up. Andy, blow up. Doc, you're fired, get outta here. I'm gonna go shoot Tucker.