If They Could See Us Now

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Only Fools and Horses episode
"If They Could See Us Now"
Series	Christmas Special
Writer	John Sullivan
Director	Tony Dow
Producer	Gareth Gwenlan
Duration	71 minutes
Airdate	25 December 2001
Audience	21.3 million

If They Could See Us Now is an episode of the BBC sit-com, Only Fools and Horses, first screened on 25 December 2001 as the first part of the early 2000s Christmas trilogy.

1 Synopsis
2 Quotes
3 Trivia
4 Errors/Plotholes
5 External links

[edit] Synopsis

Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.

Del Boy and Rodney are driving to see someone in an office block. They tell him all about what their lives were like before they became millionaires thanks to finding the John Harrison watch in "Time On Our Hands". The Trotter brothers then talk about what happened on their most recent holiday with their lovers Raquel and Cassandra, and Del's son Damien.

As the Trotters arrived at a fancy Caribbean hotel and got all settled in, they got up to all sorts of mischief.

One night, Rodney feels guilty about not taking Uncle Albert with them, but Del reminds him that Albert's staying with Elsie Partridge. The Trotter brothers then head off to a bar, while mocking Albert's catchphrase "During the war..."

One day, Del read a horrifying story in the newspaper that the Central American stock market had crashed, and the Trotters had invested all their money in that spot! They quickly escaped without having to pay for their hotel bill.

It is revealed that the man the Trotters were talking to is a barrister. Del mentions Mike, who is now in jail for deforging the brewery, as well as mention that he and Rodney had to sell Del's country mansion and Rodney's apartment in order to pay off debts. But however, they still have their old flat at Nelson Mandela House to go to.

At Nelson Mandela House, Del breaks the bad news to everyone that they owe the Inland Revenue a lot of money, and if they don't pay up, the Trotter family will be evicted from their flat. More bad news arrives when one of Elsie Patridge's sons phones to tell everyone that Albert has died.

At the funeral, the Trotters arrive, only to learn that they've gone to the wrong funeral.

Back at the courthouse, the judge tells Del that he can no longer run Trotters Independent Traders because of his actions. Later, Del and Raquel both suggest that Rodney can take over the company. Rodney agrees that he should be the new CEO of the company.

A few days later, Rodney and Cassandra suggest to each other on how they could celebrate Rodney being the new chairman of T.I.T.CO. They both write their ideas down on paper, and then return to the flat to make out in their bedroom. Del appears and puts the couple off by telling them that Grandad had his very first fit on that bed.

The next day, Mickey Pearce winds Rodney up by phoning him and telling him that he is an associate of the Sultan of Brunei.

That night, as Del, Raquel, and Damien all get ready, Rodney listens to a Mozart number until Trigger enters, who states that Del promised to give him a lift down the pub, despite the fact that Trigger lives closer to the Nag's Head, and has to walk past it to get to Nelson Mandela House.

As Del prepares to take Raquel and Damien to a special place, he has to call Monkey Harris first. But however, Cassandra dressed as June Ackland from The Bill and Rodney dressed as a Roman gladiator, all just to help Rodney's dream of women in uniforms come true nearly frightens Del.

Del takes Raquel and Damien to the BBC studio, because Del's going to be a contestant on the gameshow "Goldrush", hosted by Jonathan Ross.

Despite getting the answer wrong on the "Fastest Finger First" question, Del is able to play the "Rainbow Road", and able to get through it all in a breeze, until the last question. Del does not know the answer, so he phones Rodney.

Back at the flat, Rodney answers the phone, hears Jonathan Ross's voice, and thinks it's Mickey Pearce - at least until he sees who's on the TV.

Rodney tries to help Del with the right answer to the final question, but unfortunately, Del loses.

Later, back at the flat, Raquel and Damien return home thanks to a taxi from the BBC, and tell Rodney and Cassandra that Del ran off into the night after losing. After Del eventually returns home, they get a phone call from the producer, telling them that Del and Rodney actually got the final question right. But Del thinks that it's another one of Mickey Pearce's prank calls, but it really is the people from the BBC phoning them. Del tells them to give all the prize money to charity.

The Trotters celebrate with champagne, as Del says triumphantly "We're the Trotters, and we're back!"

[edit] Quotes

Del: Don't worry Rodney, this time next year, we'll be millionaires!

Rodney: This time last week, we were millionaires!

Del: Are you saying I'm stupid?

Rodney: Either that or it's the Chinese year of the dodo.

Rodney: (to Del) You were declared bankrupt. You have been banned from running any company from sitting on any boards or dealing with any shares. They don't even want you past the Stock Exchange on a bike! And you owe the Inland Revenue over £50,000.

Rodney: Trigger what are you doing here?

Trigger: Well Dave, Del Boy said he'd give me a lift down the pub.

Rodney: Oh I suppose that's...Hold on, you live closer to the pub then we do?

Trigger: Yeah I know, but Del Boy said he'd give me a lift down the pub.

Rodney: But Trigger, you've had walk past the pub to get to our flat!

Trigger: I know, but Del Boy said he'd give me a lift down the pub.

Trigger: What you up to Dave?

Rodney: I'm listening to Mozart's Concerto No.5 in D-Minor.

Trigger: No words to this song Dave?

Rodney: No Trigger, it's an instrumental.

Del: All right Trigger? What you doing?

Trigger: I'm listening to Mozart's Concerto No.5 in D-Minor.

Del: OK.

Trigger: It's the karaoke version.

[edit] Trivia

Del was originally going to appear on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? with Chris Tarrant making a guest appearance. However, ITV did not grant the rights for it to be used on repeat runs of the episode, so instead the fictional quiz show "Goldrush" was created to be used and Jonathan Ross made an appearance as the host.
In the trailers for this episode, a stretch version of their Reliant Regal van was shown but never made the final cut.[1] It never really existed, just a superimposed picture.
A sketch involving Rodney and a dirty magazine was edited out of the final cut.^{[citation needed]}
John Sullivan admitted he was uncomfortable to do another trilogy after the Trotters won their fortune in the 1996 trilogy. Due to pressure from both the fans and the BBC, he agreed to write three more episodes. The three episodes did well in the viewing figures, but had mixed reviews.^{[citation needed]}
The clips used to describe how "normal" the Trotter brothers were before they became millionaires are used from the following episodes:
- Grandad dropping the wrong chandelier ("A Touch of Glass").
- The Jolly Boys' coach blowing up ("The Jolly Boys' Outing").
- The sex dolls inflating ("Danger UXD").
- Del and Rodney dressed as Batman and Robin ("Heroes and Villains").

[edit] Errors/Plotholes

In the flashback about how the Trotters lost their millions, Rodney is seen flying abroad, yet in "Who Wants to be a Millionaire", Rodney was not allowed an immigration visa because he smoked cannabis.
During their holiday, Rodney tells Del that Albert couldn't go on holiday with them because he didn't have a passport. However, in "To Hull and Back", Del asked Albert if he had brought all the passports with him when he got to Hull, and Albert said they are in his bag. Albert would obviously have had a passport when he went to Amsterdam with his nephews.
The Capri Ghia's registration number is CCR 412W, yet in "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Uncle", the registration number was UYD 177R.
When Rodney and Cassandra come back from the restaurant to make out in their bedroom (which used to belong to Grandad, then Albert), Del talks about Grandad having his first fit on that bed, but that is unlikely because the bed in this episode is a double, and the one that Grandad slept on in "Homesick" was a single.
When the Trotters are flying in Concorde, the seat behind Rodney is empty. Then when you see it again, Damien is in it.