If I Can't Smoke And Swear I'm Fucked
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
| “If I Can't Smoke And Swear I'm Fucked” | |
|---|---|
| Trailer Park Boys episode | |
 |
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| Episode no. | Season 3 Episode 3 |
| Written by | Mike Clattenburg |
| Directed by | Mike Clattenburg |
| Production no. | 303 |
| Original airdate | May 4, 2003 |
| Episode chronology | |
| ← Previous | Next → |
| "Temporary Relief Assistant Trailer Park Supervisor" | "Who's the Microphone Assassin?" |
| List of Trailer Park Boys episodes | |
If I Can't Smoke And Swear I'm Fucked is the 16th episode of the hit Canadian comedy mockumentary series Trailer Park Boys.
[edit] Plot
After the vodka operation failed in the last episode, Julian is left desperate and with little money, but he does not want to go back to jail. Seeing an opportunity to make it rich and avoid getting caught by police, he and the boys decide to commit smaller crimes involving theft under $1,000, so as to avoid the attention of the law. He enlists Ricky and Bubbles in his plan, with the promise of getting paid from the profits they make and an ocean cruise at the end of the year, as an incentive to keep them in line. Ricky, meanwhile, is concerned that his daughter Trinity has developed an addiction to cigarette smoking, a practice which she has picked up from him. He has tried to go cold turkey, chew nicorette gum, and even go to rehab, all without the desired results to quit, forcing him to resort to the patch.
In order to keep Mr. Lahey and Randy away from their latest venture, an illegal gas station, they recruit Lucy and Sarah for help, whom have opened up a hair salon in Lucy's trailer. They help out the boys by selling coupons; coupons reedemable for stolen gas. Ricky oversees the whole operation, Bubbles works at the pump, and Cory and Trevor are assigned to siphon the gas from other people's cars outside the park. Meanwhile, Lahey comes across one of the coupons and quickly dechipers the boys are up to more criminal activity in Sunnyvale. He and Randy set up a massive surveillance system of cameras and microphones in his Cadillac, in an attempt to catch them in the act. Ricky starts to feel dizzy as a result of smoking with the patch on, Cory and Trevor successfully with the gasoline but are sick from accidental gas inhalation, and Trinity is really craving a cigarette. All the stress and pressure is too much for Ricky, especially when he sees Lahey watching them in the distance. Randy pulls up and asks for a fuel-up, in the hope of catching them, but when Lahey appears to confront them, they pin the blame on Cory and Trevor, who are now passed out from inhaling the gas fumes. During the argument that ensues, Ricky passes out from the effects of smoking and the patch, and his lit cigarette lands in a puddle of gasoline, which blows up a customer's car. Ricky, Julian, Bubbles, and J-Roc are nailed by Officer George Green and are issued a summons to appear in court the following week.
The trial date arrives, Lahey is pretty confident the boys will be going down big time, the boys are nervous they could end up back in jail, but J-Roc believes that by doing prison time, the sales on his debut album will go up with his "street cred." Ricky fires their defense counsel and tries to defend them, only to get into a shouting match with the prosecutor. When the judge warns him to stop his swearing, Ricky pleads that under the Peoples Voices and Choices Act that he has the right to express himself in any way, if that may be smoking and swearing, so be it. The judge, somewhat sympathetic but convinced he has a bad idea, concurs with his plea and allows him to smoke and swear in court, on the grounds that he is entitled to a fair trial and the chance to defend himself. Ricky deconstructs the video evidence Lahey provided, to make it seem that Cory and Trevor were soliciting themselves to Randy, and concludes that he and the boys are not guilty. After an hour, the judge finds them not guilty on all charges, and she sentences Cory and Trevor to 450 hours of community service. Since both are hooked up to life-support systems to draw the gas fumes out of them, they are in no position to argue or defend themselves.
[edit] Trivia
- The sympathethic judge and long-suffering prosecutor appear in the 2006 film Trailer Park Boys: The Movie with the judge playing the boys unenthusiastic defence lawyer and the prosecutor as the cold-hearted judge.
- The judge is the second person to call J-Roc by his real name, Jamie; the first being his mother Linda.
- In the United States, the episode title used for broadcast and syndication is "If I Can't Smoke and Swear, I Can't Properly Express Myself."
