I Take Thee Quagmire

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“I Take Thee Quagmire”
Family Guy episode

Episode no.	Season 4 Episode 21
Guest stars	Adam Carolla, Nicole Sullivan, Alex Trebek
Written by	Tom Maxwell Don Woodard Steve Callaghan
Directed by	Seth Kearsley
Production no.	4ACX23
Original airdate	March 12, 2006
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List of Family Guy episodes

"I Take Thee Quagmire" is an episode from the fourth season of FOX animated television series Family Guy. It guest-starred Adam Carolla as Death, Nicole Sullivan as Joan and Alex Trebek as himself.

[edit] Plot summary

Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.

When Peter makes a surprise win on Wheel of Fortune, he wins a free maid (named Joan) for a week. While he shows off how he could cause a huge mess for her to clean up (specifically, giving an exploding watermelon filled with chocolate pudding to Meg), she meets Quagmire who immediately falls for her. He gives up his philandering ways and becomes a caring lover. He proposes to Joan. Peter, however, becomes irritated by the changes Quagmire made for his new fiancee.

Meanwhile, Lois is concerned when Stewie's teeth cause her pain during breastfeeding. Brian suggests that Lois begin weaning Stewie, to which Stewie objects.

During the reception for his wedding, Quagmire turns back into his old self when he notices Lois's engorged breasts. Realizing his mistake, he enlists help from his friends to get him out of it quick, at one point asking Cleveland how he got out of his marriage, to which Cleveland replies "You slept with my wife!", a reference to the episode The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire. They choose to fake his death. When their plot fails, Joan is relieved, but Death has come and must collect a body. Joan jumps in front of Quagmire and touches Death, which kills her. Quagmire's friends then inform Death that her last name was Quagmire and that she was suicidal, and so Death takes her body, allowing Quagmire to live.

[edit] Notes

Nicole Sullivan and Patrick Warburton also work together on the series Kim Possible whose star Christy Carlson Romano guest stars as a one night stand for Quagmire.
Chris Griffin does not appear in this episode.
This episode was rated TV-MA when it first premiered on Cartoon Network (for sexual content and violence, specifically the scene where Joan threatens to kill herself when Quagmire asks her for a divorce and the subplot about Lois's breasts). In all reruns, the rating is changed to TV-14 for suggestive dialogue (D) and violence (V).
When Stewie sneaks into Peter and Lois's room to steal Lois's breast milk, the time shown on the clock is 4:20, a possible reference to 420, a number associated with cannabis culture. Seth MacFarlane's shows are known for stoner culture references.
The Wheel of Fortune scene is almost completely factually accurate down to the shopping (though the shopping segment hasn't been shown on Wheel of Fortune since the late 1980s), the bonus round with only five consonants and a vowel, the ceramic dalmatian which was frequently offered as a prize, the $25,000 sign, and a near-perfect rendition of the original Changing Keys theme song.
During the bonus round of Wheel of Fortune, Peter asks for the letter Z, the number 4, the letter Q (3 times), and concludes with asking for the Batman symbol. After Peter answers the bonus round's question in 1 try, Peter asks to buy "the fat guy in the circle", which is himself.
This episode's Jeopardy scene includes one of the few times that Mayor West's apparent delusions were proven correct (cf. he sends Alex Trebek back to the fifth dimension by making Alex say his name backwards).
The 1 free week of maids service Peter wins had a $250 sign on it.

[edit] Censorship

When the watermelon exploded on Meg, she was originally intended to say "Fuck you! Kiss my fucking asshole to fucking Hell!", however, according to her voice actress Mila Kunis, it was "way too obvious" and replaced with "I hate you! I hate you!". However, it was seen on the Region 4 Volume 4 DVD release.
On the FOX version of this episode, Cleveland's use of the word "erection" is bleeped out. The Cartoon Network/Adult Swim version doesn't have it bleeped out, nor does the DVD (the commentary does mention that FOX bleeping out the word made Cleveland's statement sound dirtier than originally intended).

[edit] DVD Exclusive Scenes

On the DVD version when Peter decides to fake Quagmire's death, he adds "This will be better than that soda I invented", then goes to a cutaway of Peter pitching Crystal Pepsi and stating that it's better than regular Pepsi, in case someone comes at the drinker with a knife and the drinker can't see past the regular Pepsi. According to DVD commentary, this scene was rejected because of a Standards and Practices rule where a TV show couldn't favor a product that's not a show sponsor.
In the collection of deleted scenes on the Family Guy volume 4 DVD, after Quagmire's request for a divorce gets shot down by Joan threatening to slit her wrist, there is a scene where Quagmire says that whatever problems they have shouldn't be solved so drastically and gives the example of the time Chris Griffin thought he was pregnant. It then goes to a cutaway of Chris (in what would have been his only appearance in this episode had this scene aired) refusing a tuna sandwich from Lois and complaining that the mercury in the tuna could kill the baby he's supposedly carrying.

[edit] Cultural references

On Jeopardy!, Adam West tricks Alex Trebek into saying his name backwards ("Kebert Xela"), sending him back to the Fifth Dimension in the same fashion as Superman's foe Mister Mxyzptlk.
Peter gets lost driving The Great Space Coaster. The entire theme song from that show is also played.
Peter calls Pat Sajak "Regis", mistaking him for Regis Philbin. On the DVD, however, while reading captions it too mistakes Pat for Regis.
When Peter is asked to guess 5 consonants and a vowel, he guesses, "Z...4...Q...another Q...a third Q...and the Batman symbol." He then solves the puzzle, guessing "Alex Karras in Webster" and gets it right.
Two Japanese men riding another maid pull alongside Peter. One of them sounds like Howard Cosell while he berates Peter over a PA system. This is a reference to the stoplight drag racing scenes in the John Cusack movie Better Off Dead.
A cutaway shows Peter throwing a tomahawk at Ashton Kutcher. He then says, "You've just been Tomahawk'd! That's my show...Tomahawk'd." Just like the name of Ashton's show, Punk'd. This is the second time the show has used a tomahawk to the head to kill someone- Quahog's founder died in the same way.
After sleeping with a woman, Quagmire chisels his name in the wall with his nose and laughs, similar to the style of Woody Woodpecker. He also does this at the end of the episode, except he chisels his phrase "Giggity Giggity Goo", his own trademark catchphrase.
After Quagmire talks to Joan for the first time, he daydreams about the two of them replacing some of the characters in a few Disney love films (Beauty and the Beast, Lady and the Tramp, Aladdin), as well as Aragorn and Arwen from Lord of the Rings. Note that they were shot at by an RPG while flying over Baghdad during the Aladdin sequence. Also, Joan's voice is performed by Nicole Sullivan who has voiced a variety of Disney characters (such as Shego from Kim Possible), so the reference is two-pronged.
When Quagmire speaks in Elvish to Joan, he actually does say a true Elvish word, "Mithrandir," which, in the Lord of the Rings, is the name the Elves use for the character of Gandalf the Grey.
After seeing the severed Statue of Liberty foot, Adam West goes through the closing lines of Planet of the Apes.
While faking a dinosaur eating Quagmire's body, Peter hums the Jurassic Park theme.
When Quagmire asks Cleveland how he got out of his marriage, Cleveland said, "You slept with my wife." This is the second reference in Season 4 to Quagmire having sex with Loretta (the first being The Perfect Castaway).
Death remarks that he had to see someone at NBC about Joey, and that he is going to a Celine Dion show but he's not going to kill her, he's going to watch her die on her own.
Peter went through a Daisy Duke phase, referring to the extremely short, cut-off denim shorts, Daisy Dukes, named after the character from the television series Dukes of Hazzard
Also, during that part when he bends over his short pants are in his crack and Brian said "it's like a walrus flossing."
At Quagmire's funeral the man working the cement truck remarks how Mayor West is afraid of zombies, a possible reference to the movie Zombie Nightmare in which Adam West's character is killed by a zombie.
When Quagmire fakes a heart attack, Peter says that, since he's dead, he should release his bowels. This gag/reference was also used in South Park, most notably in the episode Something Wall-Mart This Way Comes and in the tenth season opener, "Return of Chef".
When Peter and his friends attempt to fake Quagmire's death, Cleveland, a black man, ironically portrays a Nazi. This is possibly a reference to Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV, where, in one scene, Toxie fights a bunch of Nazis, many of which, including their leader, Police Chief Kazinsky, for some reason, are black. It could also perhaps be a reference to Hogan's Heroes, in which Sergeant Kinchloe (Ivan Dixon), a black man, frequently (and successfully) impersonated Nazi officers. Black people were persecuted by the Nazis along with the other races, religions and ideologies which they meant were not Aryan.
Nicole Sullivan's guest stars as Quagmire's fiancee Joan, and previously starred as the voice of Joan Of Arc in the MTV series Clone High. It is unclear if this is an intentional nod to the show, or purely coincidence.