How to Win Friends and Influence People

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How to Win Friends and Influence People is a self-help book written by Dale Carnegie and first published in 1936, which has sold many millions of copies. It was a New York Times best seller for 10 years. This book appeals to people who want to change their life and gives tips and strategies for communicating with people. In contrast with some modern theories of psychology, which emphasize autonomy, self-expression and assertiveness, it echoes Lord Chesterfield's view that pleasing others is both a duty and a paradoxical route to personal success.

[edit] Major Sections and Points

The book has four major sections. The core principles of each section are listed below.


Fundamental Techniques in Handling People:

  • "Don't criticize, condemn or complain."
  • "Give people a feeling of importance; praise the good parts of them."
  • "Get the other person to want to do what you want them to by arousing their desires."


Six Ways to Make People Like You:

  • "Become genuinely interested in other people."
  • "Smile."
  • "Remember that a man's name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language."
  • "Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves."
  • "Talk in the terms of the other man's interest."
  • "Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely."


Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking:

  • "Avoid arguments."
  • "Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never tell someone they are wrong."
  • "If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically."
  • "Begin in a friendly way."
  • "Start with questions the other person will answer yes to."
  • "Let the other person do the talking."
  • "Let the other person feel the idea is his/hers."
  • "Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view."
  • "Sympathize with the other person."
  • "Appeal to noble motives."
  • "Dramatize your ideas."
  • "Throw down a challenge."

Nine Ways to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment:

  • "Begin with praise and honest appreciation."
  • "Call attention to other people's mistakes indirectly."
  • "Talk about your own mistakes first."
  • "Ask questions instead of giving direct orders."
  • "Let the other person save face."
  • "Praise every improvement."
  • "Give them a fine reputation to live up to."
  • "Encourage them by making their faults seem easy to correct."
  • "Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest."

[edit] Allusions

Carnegie's daughter Donna Dale Carnegie wrote a 2005 book entitled How to Win Friends and Influence People for Teen Girls, intended as an updating of the original advice targeted at teenaged girls.

The Roman Polanski film The Ninth Gate depicts the mysterious character of "The Girl" reading How to Win Friends and Influence People.

In Back to the Future, George McFly's young character is introduced reading How to Win Friends and Influence People.

Additionally, several artists have used or played on the title of Carnegie's book to comic or ironic effect:

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