Hollywood Minute
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Hollywood Minute was also the name of the hourly entertainment reports on CNN Headline News in the 1980s and early 1990s. These reports were also syndicated to local television stations across America. These reports are still produced and are available on CNN.com.
"Hollywood Minute" was a semi-regular sketch on Saturday Night Live in the early-and-mid-1990s. It consisted of David Spade sitting behind a desk viciously lampooning celebrities. The "Hollywood Minute" was originally a section of "Weekend Update" but, in the 1996 season, Spade received a regular segment (entitled Spade in America) that, among other bits, continued his put-downs of various celebrities. Spade used a hand-puppet of himself to reprise this role when he returned to SNL as a guest host, stating that he didn't feel like putting down celebrities anymore, but that didn't mean that a puppet couldn't.
The set consisted of a series of scathingly sarcastic one-liners aimed at celebrities, whose pictures were usually shown in one of the top-hand corners of the screen.
In one instance, a picture of former SNL cast member Eddie Murphy appeared onscreen and Spade exclaimed, "Look kids it's a falling star, make a wish" referring to Murphy's recent lack of box office success. This apparently caused significant animosity between SNL and Murphy and Spade and Murphy in particular.
In 2005, Spade took this format to Comedy Central and made it the featured segment on his weekly program entitled The Showbiz Show with David Spade.
Memorable jokes include:
- "Roseanne Barr threw a massive tantrum and walked out on the set of her show (Roseanne) this week. Oh wait, did I say this week? I meant every week."
- "I like Friends. I especially liked it back when I first saw it... and it was called Seinfeld" —read unenthusiastically by Jennifer Aniston on "Spade in America".
- "Madonna, Billy Ray Cyrus, Kevin Costner. All the people who will still have a career next year, take one step forward. Not so fast, Billy Ray!"
- Cameron Diaz has cut off all of her pretty hair. Men of America, you can finally stop whacking it."
- "Ally McBeal, maybe she should try an 'Ally McMeal'."
- Again, to Jennifer Aniston: "Hey, Jen, I think I know somebody else with your haircut—America."
- Pondering whether or not Fleetwood Mac should still be allowed to refer to themselves as legends: "Fleetwood Mac were singing 'Don't Stop.' I've got a message for the new Fleetwood Mac—DO stop! Stop touring, performing, saying you're legends."
- With a picture of NBC's The Today Show anchor Katie Couric: "Katie Couric, I will give you one thousand dollars if you stop smiling for five seconds."
- A picture of Prince appears and David says "Prince, he's funky!". Then, a picture of Roseanne Barr appears and David says "Roseanne, she's crazy!".
- A picture of Eddie Murphy appears to which he says, "Look children, a falling star.... Quick make a wish."
- The movie poster for If Looks Could Kill starring Richard Grieco appears to which he says, "If looks could kill get Greico a mirror."
