Herman Smirch
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Herman Smirch is a fictional character created for the Nintendo Comics System comic book line. He was the protagonist of the Game Boy comic book series, based off of the Super Mario Land video game. In this series, he is the apparent human servant of the game's villain, Tatanga. Because Smirch is a weak-willed man, he is easily hypnotized by Tatanga into releasing him into the "real world" via "the gateway" (a Game Boy system, actually). Partly because of this twist, Smirch has obviously never appeared in any Mario video games.
"Game Boy" #1's feature story, "In the Palm of Your Hand" (named after one of the Game Boy's advertising slogans), starts off with Smirch in his Piscataway, New Jersey apartment with his pet hamster, Attila. Smirch is shown playing Super Mario Land on a Game Boy which he has shoplifted from Lev's Lectronics, the electronics boutique where he works. He seems to enjoy playing all the way to the last boss battle and then deliberately losing. After arguing with a beggar on the streets, Smirch sees off his boss, Mr. Levison, who goes to the bank, leaving Smirch in charge of the boutique, which resides in the Wonder World mall. Upon taking out another Game Boy to play Super Mario Land on, he unwittingly releases Tatanga, along with his vast army of minions and his prisoner, Princess Daisy. At first, Tatanga plans on having Smirch killed now that he's done his job, but is convinced by Daisy to let Smirch live, so that he can be interrogated. After being informed how exactly Tatanga arrived, Smirch (or "Giant", as Tatanga calls him, due to the fact that the game characters are depicted as being the size of a Kids Meal toy) lets Tatanga know where he is, and Tatanga begins conquering the mall. After a while, Daisy manages to convince Tatanga to take her to lunch, and Smirch leads Tatanga and his men to the Windows of the World restaurant in the then-extant World Trade Center. Mario, having been released from the Game Boy by two teenagers, follows them there and manages to chase the bad guys back inside while Smirch escapes.
After these events, Smirch calls his mother in the second issue's story, "It's a Small World After All". Smirch's mother convinces him to give up the Game Boy and come home. Smirch gives his Game Boy to some neighboring girls, only to end up shoplifting another Game Boy from another electronics store and releasing Tatanga again. This time, Tatanga wants to take Daisy on vacation, and Smirch suggests Walt Disney World. Tatanga forces Smirch to hijack a Semi to the airport, and then a 747 to Florida. Unsatisifed with the plane's speed, Tatanga, along with Smirch and a human prisoner named Tannis Rhodes, hijacks a space shuttle that takes them into outer space. Smirch, feeling pity for Tannis, lends her his jacket before informing Tatanga that they're orbiting Earth. Tannis, meanwhile, has managed to release Mario, because Smirch left his Game Boy in his aforementioned jacket. Tatanga blames Smirch for Tannis's releasing Mario, but then the shuttle crashes into Disney World's It's a Small World ride. Smirch vacates the premises with his jacket, not taking the Game Boy he stole earlier.
Smirch's story continues in the third issue's story, "Team Play", which starts off with him hiding from the police in his mother's house. After the mother of the girls he gave his old Game Boy to in the last issue mails it back to him (she won't allow her children to accept gifts from strangers), Smirch runs away to Green River, Wyoming, where he then releases Tatanga's Elite Squadron, led by his second-in-command, Pionpi (a drone enemy from the game). Thanks to an upgrade to his car, Smirch leads the squadron to China, where they begin setting up a new base of operations. In a nearby Navy ship, Mario is released by a young recruit and has his plane, the Sky Pop, upgraded to withstand the bad guys' new fire. By this time, Tatanga's minions willingly accept Smirch as a member of their team, despite Pionpi's objections. When Mario fights back at the bad guys, Smirch escapes in his car.
The fourth and last issue's story, "Pipes Is Pipes", finds Smirch back in New Jersey, this time working at a carnival in Seaside Heights. When he releases Tatanga this time, it is Daisy's birthday and Tatanga has brought her here as a gift, despite the fact that she'd prefer being set free. This time around, Smirch is a minor player, and does nothing more for Tatanga than simply open a door for him. Afterwards, he is not mentioned again in the story.
Because of the series' early cancellation, the truth about Smirch's misadventures was never truly revealed - that he had merely hallucinated Tatanga, Daisy, and Mario coming out, and none of it was happening at all.
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