Talk:Great Hymn to the Aten

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[edit] "Our Father" hymn

This is not a genre of hymnography or standard type I have ever heard of. If it is, I think we'd need a cite to establish that. Similarly, if the rest of the analysis is not OR we need that cited as well. We can't engage in original analysis here.

I cut the claim that the quote represents 5% of the hymn, since it seemed inaccurate to me. The statement about the style is also a judgment call reflecting a POV; in any translation there are stylistic decisions that must be made and it goes without saying that not all features reflected in an original language are translatable. TCC (talk) (contribs) 05:34, 1 January 2007 (UTC)

You need to check out the Length of the original translation. From "Akhenaten", by Cyril Aldred, c 1988, the quotes are from paragraphs 5,6 of about 8 and 1/2. Maybe 20 percent of original. I am not sure this is the complete translation. A later work of the Akhenaten material, is definitely of better, "Egyptian" style, and I suppose the length is probably correct. But I thought it was longer than these 8 1/2 paragraphs. Anyhow you are helping deceive people that this is the entire Hymn, and the style, I aint really sure of. My book (of the later 1999 or so translation), is packed away in a box for the more "literal transliteration". ArizonaDeserts...--Mmcannis 05:54, 1 January 2007 (UTC)

Yes, 20% is more like it, but I don't see the relevance. The quote is introduced with a statement that it's an excerpt; there's no deception here either deliberate or inadvertent, and it's quite uncivil of you to say there is and that I'm contributing to it. I'm really unsure about a quote of this length being included as fair use anyway. I believe what's there is still covered under copyright, and a more recent one doesn't improve that situation. I was tempted to replace the excerpt with Budge.

A literal transliteration pretty clearly isn't what's wanted. I assume you meant translation. Egyptian syntax clearly doesn't work in English, and what does work in English to convey a feel for the original is again a judgment call that a Wikipedia editor should not make. (A cite that gives reason for favoring one over the other is a different story, of course.) TCC (talk) (contribs) 06:00, 1 January 2007 (UTC)