User:Gracenotes/Van
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The following is an article that was actually created, and subsequently speedily deleted. The subject's name has been changed for privacy.
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[edit] Smith, Daniel John Bob
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Image:Danpicture123.jpg |
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| Date of Birth: | Septembruary 32, 1985 |
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| Birthplace: | XXX, Iowa |
| Height (in inches): | 74.35 |
| Weight: | ? |
| Hair Color: | Black |
| Eye Color: | Brown |
| Known Food Allergies: | None |
| Highest Level achieved in WoW: | 58 |
| Favorite WoW character: | Mage |
| Favorite WoW race: | Human |
| Favorite WoW class specialization: | Frost |
Daniel John Bob Smith is a senior phsyics major at Luther College in Decorah, Iowa. In his short time in this world he has left an undeniable impact on the lives of those he has touched. His artistic legacy to the world comes in the form of his role with Twack Productions, an independant movie production company. To date producing over five full length films, Twack Productions has redefined the genres it works within.
Smith is known more infamously as the result of the Unemploymentgate scandal of 2002. He also serves as the inspiration for the Dan Smith rule of 60%, a noted hypothesis in theoretical conversation, and his name is the primary root in the etymology of the English language verb, "to dan".
[edit] Unemploymentgate
In 2002, while a student at XXX High School in XXX, Iowa, Smith accrued enough labor points working at a local dog track to qualify himself for unemployment benefits as a seasonal worker. While no laws were broken, the EqOnion was advised of the sitation due to Smith' position as a staff reporter. In a news article the story was leaked to the public, and an outcry among the students of Hempstead High School ensued. While those in the Smith camp attempted damage control immediately, his public image had suffered irrevocably. Public image would take a back seat however, as a new set of concerns proliferated from this monumental year in Smith' life.
[edit] Potential Reactions to Unemploymentgate
Newton's Third Law of Motion clearly states that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. When the Zero-Sum nature of the universe that Dan Smith is a part of is considered in connection with this fact, it is clear that consequences for this action were inevitable. The following are confirmed and documented occurences in the life of Dan Smith which are believed to result from his collection of unemployment in 2002.
- In August of 2004, Smith, made a triumphant return to Luther College after a brief stint at Iowa State University. Smith parked his Volkswagen Fox below Miller Hall and moved his belongings into the room that he would share with Bjorn Hanson. At this point, karma and hunger joined forces and conspired to convince Dan to leave his car parked in a fire lane while eating food. Within hours, the subsequent ticket and towing fee had erased two months of unemployment benefits from the bank account of
Daniel Smith.
- In June 2005, the Volkswagen Fox once again played a role in Nature's atonement for Smith' past benefits. After parking his car on a residential street in front of his house in Dubuque, fate intervened to rear its ugly head. An ATV, smaller than any street legal car but close in size to the Fox careened down the road, smashing into the parked vehicle of Smith. Significant damage was caused, which, while covered by insurance, resulted in the the declaration of the Volkswagen as totaled. In this manner the Fox, which Smith claimed to "love", was a possible victim of foul play resulting from the ripple effect of the benefits in question.
- The Paideia Portfolio incident, described in details in the Honors Paideia: The Daniel Smith Experience section of this portfolio.
[edit] Honors Paideia: The Daniel Smith Experience
The stated goals of the Paideia program at Luther College are "formal and informal learning, as well as providing an atmosphere for the kind of culture that exists when learning is held in common" [1]. For a young Daniel Smith arriving at Luther College in the fall of 2003, these complex forces would immediately begin to act upon him. The Honors Paideia experience would prove over the next years of his life to be a watershed moment, shaping him for years to come.
Upon his arrival in Honors Paidiea, Smith met at least some of the following people: Mark Shirbroun, Bjorn Hanson, Carissa Sokja, Andrew Heggen, Jon Allen, Michelle Burns, Erin Schmidt, CENSORED, Leah Bock, Gretchen Zelle, some guy who came for the first two days before he figured out he was in the wrong place and was never seen again, professor Robert Schultz and Paideia mentor Sarah Schultz (no relation).
While at least two romantic relationships would blossom among the previously mentioned people, Smith held firm to his sometimes questioned principles and never consorted in such a manner with students he intended only to develop a culture of learning with. Instead, conversation within the class would center around such eloquent topics as how screwed Anna Buschler, the main character in The Burgermeister's Daughter: Scandal in a Sixteenth-Century German Town was. While the book itself has been called, "The tragic but uplifting story of Anna Buschler, whose rebellion against the constricting mores of her times is reconstructed in this vivid social portrait of Germany at the end of the Middle Ages"
[2], class discussion turned towards Buschler and the duality of her plight as either an oppressed woman struggling for control in a world that afforded her none or a crazy feminist kleptomaniac.
Further elements of class discussion ventured from road trips taken with no discernable purpose or result, the fascinating habits of the ancient Greeks especially explored through the illuminating classic Egypt, Greece, and Rome, which provided the class a "useful introduction to three significant ancient civilizations of the Mediterranean littoral"[http://http://www.amazon.com/Egypt-Greece-Rome-Civilizations-Mediterranean/dp/0199263647/sr=1-1/qid=1171317208/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/105-1937162-8955609?ie=
UTF8&s=books], the uncanny resemblance between Professor Schultz and Indiana Jones (especially in regards to headwear decisions), and how many 4s and 5s Smith received on AP exams in high school and how this compared with the exorbitant amounts of college credit Andrew Heggen had before setting foot on Luther's campus.
It was in the sacred confines of Honors Paideia that life would again attempt to atone for Unemploymentgate. After Professor Schultz announced he would leave Luther College for Roanoke College in Virginia to assume duties as the John P. Fishwick Professor of English, he began to shrug off his assumed mantle as B+ Schultz, instead bestowing the A and A- grades that had previously eluded all students (with the exception of Burns) during the first semester. Despite this change, Smith remained frozen in the prior range, including the infamous Paideia Portfolio grading incident.
In this incident, all students received an A on their end of the year compilation of previous writings and a brief letter of introduction. The noted exception to this was Smith, as during the grading process Professor Schultz would find his pen siezed by the spirit of hundreds of laid off workers from around the United States, penning the contrast of the gentle curves of a B and the harsh lines of a + side by side on Smith' paper. After regaining his own mental faculties, Professor Schultz was confused and disoriented, but resumed forming the three simple lines that make up the letter A on the remaining papers, conversing his limited wrist strength for the bestselling novels he would eventually write.
It should not be thought that the struggles and persecution Smith faced in Honors Paideia outweighed the gains he reaped from his participation. Even the excessive hours spent in preparation, including the hazy seventy two consecutive hours spent producing his research paper, helped to provide him with formal and informal learning that provided him a framework for friendship (though obviously not of the romantic nature), including close ties to the noted Bjorn Hanson and world class climber Jon Allen, both of whom Smith would eventually sleep less than ten feet away from on a regular basis in the coming years of his life.
[edit] Twack Productions
Smith' greatest impact on the artistic fabric of the world has come through his work as a director and producer with Twack Productions. To date this independent film company, based in Decorah, Iowa, has produced a number of short films, most notably the award winning documentary, Bjorn Hanson - UnCut.
Full filmography of Twack Productions:
- The Swing (2004)
- Elevate Your Game (2004)
- Gangle Fight, Round 1 (2004)
- Bjorn Hanson, UnCut (2005)
- The Bet (expected production 2010)
[edit] Bjorn Hanson - UnCut
Inspired by the life of close friend and confidant Bjorn Hanson, Smith set out in the production of this documentary to capture Hanson's energetic spirit and powerful will. The incredible short film that resulted received consideration at the Cannes Film Festival for the Palme d'Or du Festival de Cannes award, as well as competing for the Silver Bear for Extraordinary Achievement at the Berlin Film Festival. Upon being posted on the popular video site YouTube the video was enjoyed by over ten thousands viewers in just a few short months, and ascended to one of the top twenty films in its category. Currently standing at nearly twenty thousand viewers, the documentary received a rave review from a noted reviewer in [Chips] who wrote:
The film itself gracefully outlines the rise and fall of Bjorn Hanson; his life, his actions, and his descent from power while offering subtle hints at the legacy he would eventually leave behind. The writing is exquisite, drawing from the mind, body and soul, while the soundtrack creates stirring emotions that cannot never be truly understood as only the best music can. Simply put, this documentary redefined the genre it inhabited, and is a testament to the ultimate strength of the human will.
[edit] World of Warcraft
The culmination of Smith' extensive role playing and action gaming experience was reached with the introduction of Blizzard Entertainment's alternate reality The World of Warcraft (WoW). Called, "the online role-playing game you should play, no matter who you are" [3], WoW has supplanted reality as the preferred environment for dedicated gamers around the globe. Despite offering no opportunity for many of the pleasures of actual life, it allows players to travel an enormous world, fight epic battles, collect 10 scales of the dragon Fixyr to take to a NPC in Ironforge, and even die, all without leaving the gaming setup in their parent's basement.
When Smith enters this alternate realm of no actual danger, excessive grinding and occasional fleeting moments of excitement and accomplishment, he becomes Marat, a mage specializing in frost magic of level 58 [4], the possessor of a number of uncommon and rare items denoted by the different colors of their fonts. It is these items that, like a good stereo system, enrich the lives of their owners by offering unique attributes to them. Smith' experiences in the game provide him with opportunities to travel an extensive world with the cumbersome burden of actually traversing physical space. His online travels have taken him to two continents, from the harsh city of Ironforge to the more gentle confines of Westfall and the vast deserts north of Lorderon, as can be seen on the inset map. Confirmed locations he has visited have been marked with a red X, and a map of the United States marked in the same way has been provided for comparative purposes.
Events in reality have trouble competeting with events in WoW, as seen in the example of travel. A further example would be an instance run to the Luther College Cafeteria. Such a run would take approximately an hour with Senior level cafgoers, with expected drop rates between two and five percent on rare items such as Dole Whip, Pizza, Chicken Strips, and Popcorn Shrimp. Such items might only regenerate 500-700 calories over eight hours, and provide only +3 to friendship ratings. Elite instance runs on Marty's return higher drops on rare items, but take longer due to long lines and higher level elite workers and managers. In stark contrast to this would be an instance run on a location such as the Scarlet Monastery in the World of Warcraft, which would take about the same period of time but provide chances at rare items in blue or green text. When these two choices are juxtaposed, there is hardly a choice at all.
While Smith faces challenges such as working for money (gold in WoW terms), going to classes to boost intelligence and spirit ratings, and working out at Legends to raise stamina and strength ratings, the life of Marat is comparatively easy. For those very reasons, Smith has submitted a proposal to Blizzard to place him into the World of Warcraft as an actual character, forgoing the remainder of his physical existence and preventing such complex issues as leisure time and work hours from tying him to reality. While Blizzard works to overcome the technical issues, a preliminary screenshot of such an arrangement has been released and can be seen at right. Of special note is the look of joy on Smith' face at finally conquering the vaunted mind/body divide World of Warcraft poses to everyone who plays.
[edit] To Dan
The English verb, 'to dan', traces it's etymology back to Daniel Smith himself. In simple terms, the verb can be interpreted as life bestowing unfortunate occurences onto an individual, especially while those around the individual are not enduring similar circumstances. For examples, one needs look no further than the life of Daniel John Bob Smith.
[edit] SWAD
Rules of SWAD:
- You do not talk about SWAD.
- You DO NOT talk about SWAD.
[edit] Contributions to Academia
The scope of Smith's contributions to the world range far beyond his artistic endeavors.
In addition to his work in his field of physics, he has developed and inspired innovative theories that help shape the intellectual world.
[edit] The Smith Hypothesis of Obligational Purchasing
In economics, the name of Daniel John Bob Smith is intimately conected with the original Hypothesis of Obligational Purchasing that now bears his name. The Hypothesis details the way in which choice of purchase can be stripped from the consumer and transformed instead into a compulsory action.
Broken down, the Hypothesis can be understood as a simple relationship between the value of a item for sale (adjusted for Purchasing Power Parity or PPP) and the price of the object. As the actual value (Va) of the object to the consumer increases, typically due to greed or envy, or the price (P) decreases through discounting or disruptions in the demand/supply curve, the choice of the consumer is constant flux. Eventually, a point in the continuum will be reached where the price dictates that the item must be purchased, regardless of need to the consumer or the measures (legal or illegal) that must be taken to obtain the money to purchase the object.
In studies conducted in Miller 314 and Farwell 307 with electronic devices for sale from 2004-2007 , the Smith Hypothesis has been proven at 99.7% accuracy (certainty value p = .007). For objects of nonelectronic origin the hypothesis is largely untested, though preliminary results suggest that food, alcohol, and posters of cats are subject to the same law.
[edit] The Daniel John Bob Smith Constant of Conversational Physics
One of the most exciting developments in recent years in the still expanding field of Quantum Mechanics is the idea of conversational physics. As in many areas of physics, Dan Smith has served to further this field during his undergraduate career at Luther.
In the most cursory of explanations, as synapses fire in the brain and are converted into the sound waves that form speech, they change subtly. It is necessary to use quantum mechanics to understand the behavior of this system at atomic length scales and smaller. Thus, quantizing the particles of speech allows us to understand their wave-particle duality. Taking into account the uncertainty principle, by which words only exist before they are heard and after they are spoken, and adjusting this for quantum entanglement produces a complex set of rules. The Daniel John Bob Smith Constant of Conversational Physics is Dan's contribution to this challenging but exciting field of physics.
The Smith Constant states in simple terms that a quantum conversation number spoken is relative to the number that exists in the physical world. The spoken number (Ns) is adjusted by the Smith constant (Dg) to adjust the number into a realistic model that can be applied to future conversational events (Na). In this way the relationship can be written as Na=DgNs. Extensive testing and research on the Luther College campus in both field and laboratory settings has established the value Dg as .60751.
A few simple examples can clarify the use of this constant. If a subject in an informal setting presents a Ns of 10 beers consumed in one night, the number is adjusted by the Smith Constant to achieve an absolute maximum of 6.0751 beers consumed. While the number may be less than this maximum, it cannot exceed this number. Tests have established an expected variance in the range between .43251 and .60751.
In another example, the subject may present an Ns of 17 kills against opposing team members in a spectacular game of Halo on Xbox Live.
Adjusted with the Smith Constant, the actual maximum would be set at 10.29707 kills, with an expected range between 7.35267 and 10.29707.
[edit] Flaws within the Smith Constant
Keeping the Smith Constant from achieving mainstream use in the Conversational Physics field are several limitations inherent within its use.
First, the constant is less precise when dealing with exceptionally large numbers. In a field stating, a subject may present a Ns of 1,000,000 pass attempts dropped by Troy Williamson while playing as the Minnesota Vikings in a rousing game of Madden '07.
The constant would allow for a range between 432,510 and 607,510 dropped passes, still well outside the realm of possibility. Because of this limitation, the Smith Constant is unsuited for use at the extremes of Quantum conservations.
Second, and more dangerously, the constant fails to allow for the presence of negative numbers. If a subject states a Ns of 60 dollars lost while playing poker at Canterbury Park, applying the Constant would actually serve to reduce the loss to a maximum of 36.3426. Such a phenomenon runs counter to the intent of the Constant and creates a conversational paradox. Further research is needed to establish ways of dealing with the implications of negative numbers on the Daniel John Bob Smith Constant of Conversational Physics.
[edit] References
- Luther, College. "Paideia", Luther College, 2005-10-27. Retrieved on 2007-02-08.
- Amazon.com. "[http://www.amazon.com/Burgermeisters-Daughter-Scandal-Sixteenth-Century-Germa
n/dp/0060977213 The Burgermeister's Daughter: Scandal in a Sixteenth-Century German Town]", Amazon.com, 2005-11-22. Retrieved on 2007-02-09.
3647/sr=1-1/qid=1171317208/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/105-1937162-8955609?ie=UTF8&s=b ooks Egypt, Greece, and Rome: Civilizations of the Ancient Mediterranean]", Amazon.com, 2005-07-22. Retrieved on 2007-02-10.
- Gamespot. "World of Warcraft", Gamespot, 2006-01-27. Retrieved on 2007-02-10.
- Allen, Jon. "World of Warcraft character details", Jon Allen, 2007-02-12. Retrieved on 2007-02-12.
- Oxford English Dictionary. "Dan", Oxford English Dictionary Online, 2004-01-23. Retrieved on 2007-02-12.
- Category:1985 births
- Category:Luther College Students
- Category:American Physicists
- Category:American Film Directors
- Category:American Economists
- Category:World of Warcraft players
- Category:Honors Paideia participants
