Goblins (webcomic)

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Goblins
Goblins - Life Through Their Eyes. Pictured left from right: Fumbles (as Señor Vorpal Kickass'o), The Goblinslayer, his pet Yuan-ti and Thaco
Author(s)	Tarol Hunt aka Thunt
Website	http://www.goblinscomic.com/
Current status	updates every Saturday
Launch date	July 1, 2005
Genre(s)	Fantasy, Comedy, Drama

Goblins is a weekly Dungeons & Dragons webcomic written and illustrated by Tarol Hunt (known by the nickname of Thunt). It is set in a humorously stereotypical fantasy setting, following the adventures of a group of goblin adventurers. In August 2006 Goblins joined Keenspot.

• Tagline: Life through their eyes.

Contents 1 History 2 Cast 2.1 The goblin party 3 Notable Other Goblins 3.1 The Adventurers 3.1.1 Living 3.1.2 Dead 3.2 Others 4 Plot Summary 5 External links

[edit] History

The comic debuted in black and white on July 1, 2005. Thunt began using color in the eighth strip. There are several different loci of action, and the author switches between them at points to increase dramatic tension. The adventuring party that was the focus of early strips has not been featured for some time, as the goblins and the humans in the city of Brassmoon have become the most important characters. The comic often employs meta humor related to Dungeons & Dragons, such as a cleric praying to the all-powerful Dungeon Master or characters arguing about whether or not they were subject to a random encounter. As the strip has progressed, the tone has become bleaker and the humor aspects have become less central than they were in early strips.

In order to encourage donations, Thunt created a goblin character named Tempts Fate. At the beginning of each donation drive, Tempts is faced with a series of obstacles and dangers; whether or not he survives, and the amount of panache with which he does, directly correlates with how much money the donation drive makes. Thunt has given out a variety of rewards for successfully reaching the goal, such as downloadable wallpaper and a new magic item for Tempts.

[edit] Cast

[edit] The goblin party

The main characters of the story who managed to survive the Goblin warcamp massacre and proceeded to become player characters with classes to get stronger.

The Chief[1] First Seen in Comic # 1

The chief of the goblins, mainly because he was named "Chief," a mismatch that has caused him great grief. He knows that he is not only substandard, but possibly one of the worst chiefs his village has had, but he must keep up the facade because, as reported by the seer Young and Beautiful, him being chief is the only reason his entire clan doesn't fall to shambles. When asked what role he wanted to be in the new adventure party, he sarcastically replied "I'll be something that stays out of the way and never does anything exciting, but is still pestered by everyone in the group." Thus, he became the group's cleric of Maglubiyet, the main god of the goblins. Initially having both his eyes intact, he accidentally poked out his right eye with a stick very early on.

Big-ears[2] First Seen in Comic # 1

Big-Ears was one of the best warriors of the Goblin Warcamp. After he witnessed Drowbabe kill his best friend, One Eye, with a magic missile, he became enraged and eventually killed her. He has shown prowess with multiple weapons, most notably hand-axes. When the Goblin Adventuring Party formed, he became a paladin because he wanted to protect the innocent from being needlessly killed.

Complains-of-Names[3] First Seen in Comic # 1

Son of Thaco, the best warrior in the clan (by Complains' estimation), who trained him since he was a child. Has a complicated relationship with his father - he is obviously proud of Thaco, but finds his answers to Complains' question frustrating. The illogical aspects of his existence (as a character in a humorous comic strip that lampoons Dungeons & Dragons rules) annoy him, and he constantly questions them. He complains about the stupid names every goblin in the clan is given, which is the reason Young-and-Beautiful (another misnomer) named him Complains-of-Names. He has sworn a personal vendetta against Minmax, who singlehandedly slaughtered most of his warcamp. Because of his anger, he hid inside the "poorly locked chest", awaiting Minmax to open it, and then attacked him with the magical items inside. This is considered a grave offense to the goblin people and he is now considered "not an outcast, but no longer a goblin." Due to his violent temper, he became a Barbarian in the goblin's party.

Fumbles/Señor Vorpal Kickass'o[4] First Seen in Comic # 1

Fumbles has almost killed Dies-Horribly many times - his spear, for example, just seems to "get away from him" while practicing. His latest trick to help out the clan might just work - he puts on a fake moustache made from boar hair and becomes his player character alter-ego, Senor Vorpal Kickass'O. With the most portentous birth ever, Senor Vorpal Kickass'o is good at everything, and has therefore picked 1/11th of every class to make a perfectly legitimate 1st level character (he leveled up after the battle with the adventurers, and is now 2/11ths of a level of each class). Those who buy "Goblins: book one" online will be able to see his long and complex fumble chart, which is something Forgath wanted to know "...so I could avoid it". After deciding to become an adventurer, Fumbles was so excited about leveling up that he accidentally attacked an elven child (whom he thought was trying to kill him.) He was so wracked with guilt that, after finding her doll that she had left behind, snuck into Brassmoon city to try and return it to her. However, he was captured by the ruthless Elite Guard and is currently being tortured by the unmerciful Captain Goblinslayer.

Thaco[5] First Seen in Comic # 14

One of the elders of the clan, Thaco (Whose name is derived from THAC0, meaning To Hit Armor Class Zero) has been around since 2nd Ed AD&D, at least. He was imprisoned long ago in Brassmoon City and has some history with Goblinslayer, the nature of which has only been hinted at. He is the best warrior in the clan, at least according to the estimation of his son, Complains-of-Names, and his combat ability in the strip appears to bear this claim out. During the battle at the Goblin War Camp, Thaco left Seth Bainwraith bleeding to death with a copper coin bet that he wouldn't be able to stabilise in 7 rounds. He was put to sleep by Drowbabe before he could see the results of his wager, but was saved by Big-Ears before she could Coup de Grace his sleeping body. After the goblins decided to form an adventuring party, Thaco decided to become a monk because of their ability to escape from traps (he had bad memories of when he was captured and tortured by Captain Goblinslayer, who now holds Fumbles.) It was recently revealed that it was Thaco's destiny to be the chief of the Goblin village, but had to turn it down because Young and Beautiful had visions of the huge civil war that would destroy the clan because of his rule. After destroying a mind-controlling plant, he has become a level 2 monk.

[edit] Notable Other Goblins

Notable Goblin characters who do not belong in the main party.

Dies-Horribly[6] First Seen in Comic # 1

Dies-Horribly lives his life in fear. He has thought of all the possible ways he might die, and doesn't like any of them. Tries to avoid Fumbles, because he tends to fumble things, which is the last thing you want when you've been predicted a horrible, horrible death. Killed Drasst Don'tsue with the help of Klik, but lost a hand in the process. Young-And-Beautiful wanted him to fight Minmax the Unstoppable Warrior in single combat, but her plan did not survive even to contact with the adventurers. Apparently, Dies is left handed, as he thinks about all the things he will have to do with his right hand when he notices that the new one Klik gave him is apt to go out of control if he is not perfectly serene. He is currently enslaved by the Viper Goblin clan who are currently fighting with an army of Hobgoblins.

Young-and-Beautiful[7] First Seen in Comic # 1 - Died in Comic # 27

Wisewoman/Fortune-teller of the goblin warband, Young-and-Beautiful was responsible for the naming of all the goblins at birth. Despite her name she is in truth a hideous old hag who disgusts everyone who sees her. A cleric who worshipped the goblin deity Maglubiyet, she was a staunch traditionalist who wouldn't hear of such newfangled concepts as actually using the weapons and armor the goblins took from adventurers just because it "makes sense." She survived the destruction of three previous warcamps by staying out of the fighting, returning to the village as a survivor and being welcomed back as a hero because she never explained that she survived by running away and leaving the rest of the warcamp to die. Thanks to an Inflict Light Wounds spell cast by Forgath, she may be the only genuinely evil goblin to have died in the adventurers' attack on the warcamp. She has unwillingly given Kore, possibly the most dangerous character in the comic, the location of the main goblin village after he re-animated her. Twice voted goblin most likely to say "I'm melllltttinggggg!!"

One-Eye[8] First Seen in Comic # 1 - Died in Comic # 20

Best friend of Big-Ears, One-Eye paid the price for hitting Seth Bainwraith with a deluge of spiky-skulls-on-ropes. Killed by a magic missile fired by Drowbabe, which burnt him up on the inside. Named for having only one eye.

The White Terror[9]

A special goblin foretold to lead all goblins to dominion over the Earth, The White Terror was a goblin of the Viper clan born with two large, majestic wings. Due to the prophecy, she was made leader of the clan when she came of age. The White Terror, at first, tried to peacefully co-exist with other species, even setting up trade routes with humans and orcs. However, one day the humans became too fearful of her power and, after killing her family, attempted to burn her alive, causing burns to one side of her body and the loss of one wing (although she still seems capable of flight). She is currently in battle with an army of Hobgoblins.

[edit] The Adventurers

Adventurers who participated in the Goblin warcamp masssacre.

[edit] Living

Forgath[10] First Seen in Comic # 3

Forgath is a cleric of Herbert, the mighty DM who "Livith in his parent's basement", and "Kickith ass at World of Warcraft, but can't getith a date to save his life". Saved Minmax from death by tentacle monster, and killed Young-and-Beautiful the Fortune Teller by use of Inflict Light Wounds to the face, but not before she planted some seeds of doubt in his mind. Is it truly heroic to slaughter an entire Warcamp of mostly defenseless Goblins for the purpose of XP? He beat Thaco nearly to death, but suffered a change of heart and saved his life, for which Complains and Chief are prepared to grant him mercy in the unlikely event that he doesn't get between them and Minmax.

Minmax[11] First Seen in Comic # 3

Minmax is a first level character with a speed of 60, 22 strength, and three more feats than he should have including both Dodge and Combat Reflexes, according to his stuff-about-people-we-don't-know papers! Traded in his ability to read for another +1 to hit, giving him a total bonus of "You don't wanna know". Was taught to use a bastard sword before his third birthday, and he knows 38 ways to kill a guy using only his thumb, but has to rely on Forgath for more mundane things such as starting a campfire and dressing himself. However, his wisdom score is quite low, and so he is constantly getting himself into scrapes. Every one of his skills is combat oriented.

[edit] Dead

Seth Bainwraith[12] First Seen in Comic # 3 - Died in Comic # 22

Seth Bainwraith, the drow renegade who abandoned the evil of his birth and embraced the goodness of the surface, becoming a truly unique, tragic hero like his half-cousin Drizzt. Also, being shunned by the surface world added just the right amount of sadness and ironic tragedy to who he was. A coward and a bully, he hid in the old goblins' hut planning to let the other two drow risk their lives and emerge when the battle was nearly over to share in the spoils of victory, and attempted to kill three goblins who he thought were too old to fight for easy XP. He bled to death after losing a duel with Thaco.

Drowbabe[13] First Seen in Comic # 3 - Died in Comic # 22

Drowbabe, whose real name was never revealed, did a very poor job of acting like a real woman--as Minmax commented, it was like she was created and controlled by a lonely, horny, teenage guy who had never kissed a girl and had no idea how women reacted realistically in any situation. As a first-level sorceress who (due to an error by the author) knew three first-level spells, she was perhaps the most powerful member of her adventuring group, and not only killed One-Eye with a Magic Missile, but nearly killed the three elder goblins by casting Sleep on them. However, Big-Ears' critical hit proved too much for her.

Drasst Don'tsue[14] First Seen in Comic # 3 - Died in Comic # 25

Drasst was Drizzt's half-brother, and was the third renegade Drow in the adventuring party. He fought with two stumpy little scimitars, which matched his stumpy little frame. Sadistic and egotistical, he planned to torture Dies-Horribly to death to vent his frustration over being outwitted by Big-Ears. He cut off Dies' left hand, but Klik, apparently considering Dies a friend and Drasst an enemy, morphed into a 10 foot long bastard sword and killed Drasst.

[edit] Others

Not-Walter[15] First Seen in Comic # 4

Not-Walter is Herbert's Pit Fiend messenger boy. Loves to insult Minmax the snivelling girl. His real name has yet to be figured out by the brave adventurers. Has to serve anyone who speaks his true name for eternity... but with Minmax's smarts, eternity might be how long it takes to guess it.

KLIK[16] First Seen in Comic # 25

Klik appears to be a living, flying bowling ball with a mouth. The goblins purchased it from Hawl early on. It was hidden in a birdcage that Drasst knocked over by accident. Klik consumes metal, but blood burns it like acid. After Drasst attacked it on sight, it turned into a sword and helped Dies-Horribly take down the fiendish drow, though in the process it got burned so badly that Dies is uncertain that his mysterious new friend is still alive. Drasst, right before he died, summed up Dies-Horribly and Klik as "a weapon that can't be swung at anything that bleeds, held by an opponent that is too much of a coward to fight." After getting dragged to a water source by Dies-Horribly, Klik eats the metal boot of a dead adventurer, recovers, and tries to keep Dies-Horribly from dying horribly. Due to its ability to consume metal armor and weapons alike, it may be the goblins' only hope against Kore's virtually impenetrable defenses and overwhelming offenses.

Kore[17] First Seen in Comic # 10

Kore is a dwarven "paladin" from beyond the Godskull mountains. He is said to have single-handedly killed armies of orcs and ogres alike and has now added Crunk, Sticks, Hawl, Boulder, and several more orcs to his tally. Fights from behind a shield-on-wheels with twin multi-crossbows (which are used in a fashion much like dual pistols), and is also handy with a pair of axes. Killed Targoth Bladebeard, the dwarven orphan, without mercy, as even potential evil must be eradicated. He came upon the goblin warcamp after it had been ransacked by Minmax and Forgath. After learning the location of the goblin village, he came upon two goblin elders, Asks Nonsense (who asks ridiculous questions) and Taps (who is blind and must use a walking stick). Kore unmercifully slaughtered both of them. Young-and-Beautiful referred to him as "the cursed one", and there has been some question about how he can still be a paladin after slaughtering innocents.

The Goblinslayer [18] Captain of the army of Brassmoon city (a rank that he gained by killing the Head Sheriff and taking his home), he is a ranger who appears to be human except for the fact that the right half of his body heavily resembles a tree. After an ambush on Brassmoon by a group of radical orcs, Goblinslayer commissioned an "Elite Guard" whose sole purpose was to capture and torture all manner of monsters to ascertain ways of defeating them should they ever attack Brassmoon again. As one might guess from his title, he particularly enjoys torturing goblins and frequently comes across as being something of a psychopath, who justifies his actions towards his prisoners through racist reasoning: to him, creatures classified as 'monsters' are by definition evil. Fumbles is currently at his mercy, or at least what little there is left of it. Keeps a Yuan-ti by a power-restricting leash as a pet. Big Ears has stated that the Goblinslayer registers as highly evil to his Paladin ability to detect such, although the Yuan-ti does not.

Saral Caine [19] A physically intimidating, large man part of the Brassmoon Elite Guard who seems to be of high rank, he has stone-grey skin and strange mechanical-looking armor. It has been implied that he is a mix of man and stone giant, which would explain his skin. Saral was the one who captured Fumbles when he snuck into Brassmoon. Possesses an axe that contains a large amount of evil (enough to cause Big Ears pain by overloading his Paladin ability to detect evil, to the point that he could not shut it down). In addition Saral wears a belt buckle identical to the crest that both Chief and his father before him wear. Contrary to Goblinslayer, Saral does not seem to calculate his every act with the goal of gaining power in mind. His first instinct upon hearing a cry of pain in town was to go investigate, not simply walk away in order to make the local watch look bad. Nevertheless, Big Ears has stated that Saral is extremely evil.

Saves a Fox [20] Another slave to the Viper clan, she is the only one who can keep K'seliss, the giant lizard-folk, in line. She seems to have comforted Dies Horribly, who is constantly terrified that he will, well, die horribly, by telling him that fate is not writ in stone. She was named "Saves a Fox" because she was supposed to do just that on the day of her fifth birthday. Not wanting to be chained by fate, she found that same fox on that same day and instead killed it. She keeps the fox's tail by her to remind her that she makes her own destiny.

K'seliss [21] A member of the lizardfolk who is much larger and more intimidating than one would expect, though he doesn't seem to be particularly articulate. Even though he is a slave under The White Terror, he has a reputation for killing any slaves forced to pair up with him (his preferred method seems to be eating them.). The only other one who seems to be able to keep him in line is Saves a Fox. According to Fox, there are rumors that K'seliss is so large and brutish because a mad wizard mutated him and mixed in genes of orc or ogre inside of him.

[edit] Plot Summary

Book 1

A Goblin warcamp is forewarned of an impending attack from adventurers by their fortune teller, "Young and Beautiful" (She named herself - in reality, she is neither of those things) They get ready to stave off the attack, with Fumbles becoming a 1st level character (Senor Vorpal Kickasso - 1/11 of every PHB class) in order to help. The preparations are interrupted by Hawl, the orc trader, who trades a "bowling ball in a wooden cage" and assorted rubbish for some of the goblins best items.

Meanwhile, the adventurers are finding their way to the goblin camp. Forgath, the dwarven cleric accidentally summons a Pit Fiend unofficially named "Not-Walter" (A recurring character, who also starred in the mini-comic "Not-Walter Screams like a Little Girl"). The adventurers run, leaving Minmax, the dumbest but also the strongest fighter, alone to fight Not-Walter and his underlings. After killing one of the monsters, Not-Walter catches Minmax, and takes pleasure in describing the torments he's going to inflict on Minmax. However, he throws Minmax away in disgust, after he starts crying.

Eventually, they reach the goblin camp. The three drow adenturers head round to the other side of the camp, while Minmax and Forgath stay where they are, so to catch the goblins in a pincer-attack. Minmax and Forgath have an argument, resulting in Minmax taking a dive into a nearby lake. Unfortunatley for Minmax, however, a huge tentacled monster, similar to the "Watcher in the Water" from the Lord of the Rings, grabs Minmax and swallows him whole. Forgath manages to rescue Minmax, stating only that "it had a soft body, lets leave it at that" in answer to Minmax's query of how he'd pulled off such an heroic feat.

Meanwhile, Hawl has gotten back to some sort of tavern, that seems exclusively for evil-aligned humanoids. He is playing cards, when, suddenly, the doorman's head is pulled through the viewing slot in the door, and his neck is broken. This allows Kore, who was on the other side of the "Two inch thick dwarven steel" door, access to the keys that the doorman was wearing around his neck. Kore gets into the tavern, and proceeds to massacre the occupants, including Hawl, and Targoth Bladebeard, a dwarven orphan who was adopted by Hawl after Hawl had killed his parents. Kore then proceeded to take Hawl's map of how to get to the goblin warcamp.

Back at the goblin warcamp, Minmax manages to breach the goblin's defences by coming up with his first truly smart plan. He topples a tree made of dead wood onto the goblins, impaling many, and scattering the rest. Minmax and Forgath manage to wipeout the remaining goblins, with the exception of Chief, who had hidden. Forgath goes to the camp to help the drow, while Minmax stays looking for Chief.

The drow, meanwhile, have attacked the other end of the camp. One-Eye and Big Ears manage to damage Seth Brainwraith with a cleverly constructed trap. In revenge, "Drowbabe" (Her real name is never revealed, except to those who bought the book) casts a magic missile, killing One-Eye.

Seth retreats into the old goblin's hut, looking for easy EXP. However, he instead finds Thaco, who proceeds to reduce Seth to -3 hitpoints, with the bet that he wouldn't be able to stabilize in 7 rounds, before he died.

However, before Seth can be killed off by another of the old goblins, Drowbabe arrives, and casts sleep. Unfortunatly for her, Big Ears comes in after the spell has been cast, and kills her to avenge his friend, One-Eye. Seth dies as well.

During the battle, Drasst tries to kill Big Ears, but is fooled by him into thinking that a bird feeder is another trap, similar to the one that hit Seth. In the confusion, Big Ears escapes, and Drasst becomes angry.

Meanwhile, Complains of Names has gone to Chief's rescue. He starts fighting Minmax, but quickly realises that he can't beat him in a straight fight. He retreats, after getting Minmax angry.

Forgath finds the fortune teller, who manages to place doubt in his mind - are the adventurers the "Good Guys"? Are the goblins really evil? - However, he eventually kills Young & Beautiful with a Cause Light Wounds to the face.

Drasst manages to find Dies Horribly, and decides to torture him to death, because he's still angry about Big Ears. He cuts off Dies' left arm, but in the process, releases the "Bowling Ball". This turns into Klik, which protects Dies, and turns into a 10ft long sword, killing Drasst. However, Klik is fatally allergic to blood, so Dies drags him to the lake to wash the blood off.

[edit] External links

• Goblins