GELF
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G.E.L.F. is a term designating any type of Genetically Engineered LifeForm in the science fiction sitcom Red Dwarf. The writers of the series had stated early on in production that they did not want any aliens to exist in their show's universe; but as the series continued, in order to provide a stream of characters for the main crew to interact with, their cosmos was gradually populated with deranged robots and bizarre creatures that turned out to be the result of genetic engineering on board deep space research vessels. Here are some of the GELFs which have appeared on Red Dwarf over the years:
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[edit] Humanoid GELFs
[edit] Kinitawowi
The Kinitawowi are bulky humanoids that stand in at around six feet high; they are covered in warts and shaggy dull orange/copper/brown fur. Judging from their appearance it would seem they were roughly based upon orang-utan DNA. As Kryten states, some have their sphincteral orifices in their faces and as such touching of the face was considered highly offensive to them.
Due to their stout and brawny bodies, they were probably originally engineered by space astros for use as slave labour and for demanding physical tasks. It was revealed in the seventh series "lost episode" Identity Within that the Kinitawowi were originally bred as quartermasters aboard Deep Space starships. However it is unclear whether or not this is considered canon in the Red Dwarf universe.
Their bodies are extremely tough; in the third episode of the seventh series (Ouroboros), a direct blast of plasma from Dave Lister's bazookoid (a mining tool normally reserved for blowing up rocks) did not kill a Kinitawowi; in fact it merely stunned the creature even though it was shot at close range.
Previous assimilation into Earth culture of the Kinitawowi people is demonstrated by a number of facets of their own culture; for example the Kinitawowi measure time in "hanaka" which is curiously similar to one minute. However it does appear as though the Kinitawowi have since rejected any form of writing, or never had any form of writing in the first instance. The Kinitawowi people are now firmly rooted in Deep Space and have very little, in anything, to do with humans.
The Kinitawowi lead a primitive tribal existence on various moons and asteroids with S3 (or Earth-like) atmospheres across Deep Space. The Kinitawowi were a deeply territorial and xenophobic race; their space is bordered by gigantic stone warning beacons that resembled GELF skulls many miles across carved out of asteroids. These were a deterrent to any stray humans which may wander into their space. Strangers were normally killed, and as Arnold Rimmer recalled from old space legends he had heard, unfortunate humans that unwittingly wandered into Kinitawowi space were often skinned alive to make beanbags.
Nevertheless, Kryten explained that the Kinitawowi were one of the friendlier "kinteteach" (or tribes) of humanoid GELFs and that they didn't always kill on sight as other humanoid GELFs apparently do. Indeed, the Kinitawowi would occasionally extend the rare honour to various travellers of not skinning them alive on sight, and this was considered a warm greeting. However, this may only occur on rare occasions when the Kinitawowi believed there was profitable trade to result in it. Some Kinitawowi were highly merchant-like and it would appear that the Kinitawowi had knowledge of futuristic technology as they kept supplies of spacecraft engine parts to trade with any passing visitors they may do trade with.
Kinitawowi villages resemble African tribal villages, often dimmly-lit by flaming torches on moons where there is perpetual twilight. The structures of these villages are simple huts or "watunga". Any human allowed into a "watunga" was indeed "han hasset", or "blessed", although to be granted this honour a human would have to please the chief by giving them lots of shiny trinkets and goods of apparent worth. They are an extremely proud and stubborn people.
A common Kinitawowi greeting and way of saying goodbye after a successful trade was, instead of a handshake, to hold the ankle of the other individual with one hand whilst the other does the same; and then the ritual is completeld by the two individuals jumping up and down on the spot in this stance.
In the fourth episode of the sixth series, Emohawk: Polymorph II, the Kinitawowi make their first appearance. The Dwarfers were marooned on a moon in Kinitawowi territory (as evidenced by a gigantic Kinitawowi skull a mile wide in space carved out of an asteroid) and in order to take back off again, the crew need supplies and especially an oxygen-generation unit (or O/G unit) so that the crew could breathe in space. Luckily for the Dwarfers, Kryten had studied the Kinitawowi language (which as Dave Lister noted sounds "like a footballer clearing his nose") and the Kinitawowi happened to have an OG-unit to trade. However, the only way in which the chief would give the Dwarfers the O/G unit was if Lister married the chieftain's daughter in exchange for it (the tribal chief was played by celebrity chef Ainsley Harriott).
A disgusted Lister married the chief's daughter, but in the night the Dwarfers escaped. The furious chief, realising his daughter had been abandoned on her wedding night and his O/G unit stolen, sent his EmoHawk after the Dwarfers to drain their emotions and aspects of their personalities. Apparently, EmoHawks are common pets of the Kinitawowi as emotions drained by the EmoHawk are a highly valued trading commodity.
After these events, the Kinitawowi pursued Starbug across space in a battle cruiser for a full series of the programme, in a bid to return Dave Lister to his Kinatawowi wife, before eventually catching up with Starbug in the seventh series episode Ouroboros. Although on first appearances the Kinitawowi would not seem to be a technologically advanced or space-faring race, their battle cruiser carried some of the most advanced technology seen so far in the Red Dwarf universe. The Kinitawowi were able to infiltrate subspace easily and cross over into various dimensions of their choosing, something the crew of Starbug were unable to do. The weapons of the Kinitawowi battle cruiser were so powerful they were capable of severing subspace corridors and linkways.
The battle cruiser may not have been constructed by Kinitawowi, however; it may have been a derelict that was commandeered by them, or stolen by them. This was never explained in Red Dwarf canon. The Kinitawowi battle cruiser was crippled when it crashed onto an ice planet during a chase with Starbug. Due to the fact it was not seen again, it is likely the Kinitawowi aboard did not survive the incident (this ship was used as the background cover for the Red Dwarf Series VII DVD).
In the later episode Beyond a Joke, a Kinitawowi tribesman was seen serving aboard the commandeered SS Centauri under a villainous Rogue Simulant captain. This Kinitawowi tribesman was killed with the destruction of the SS Centauri and it marked the last appearance of the Kinitawowi in the television series.
[edit] Brefewino
The Brefewino are a separate "kinteteach" (or tribe) of humanoid GELFs. They are vaguely similar in appearance to the Kinitawowi tribe except the Brefewino are taller, more muscular, more hairy, more mercantile and even more aggressive then their Kinitawowi counterparts. Brufwino tribesmen stand on average several or eight feet high, but despite this their beards often almost reach the ground. They also weigh on average two whole tonnes. Brefewino have three separate sets of teeth; as Kryten states, one set of teeth is used specifically for hunting and catching their prey, another set of teeth is used for devouring their prey, and the third set of teeth are used for "tearing the cellophane off VHS videos".
The Brefewino have not appeared in the Red Dwarf television series; however they did appear in the "lost episode" of the seventh series, Identity Within. This episode was scripted and storyboarded, but never filmed, in the end it was replaced by Duct Soup (the "lost episode" can be viewed as a storyboard on the Series VII DVD). Because of these reasons it is unclear as to whether or not the Brufweno are canon in the Red Dwarf universe.
In the episode, Kryten states that whilst the Kinitawowi were initially bred as quartermasters aboard Deep Space starships, the Brefewino were initially bred as butchers. Perhaps fittingly, the Brufweno are very adept warriors and very fond of swords and carry them around regularly (in comparison to the Kinitawowi who do not carry weapons).
The Brefewino have a complex system of writing, but are in no means civilised - indeed, their Kinitawowi counterparts would appear more civilised. The Brefewino are proflific gamblers, merchants, and slave traders, and amongst their favourite commodities are Felix Sapiens. As well as using "cats" for slave labour, the Brefewino like to eat them - the Brefewino word for cat has the meaning "deep fried crispy bar snack". Brefewino held their captives of cages made of a metal known as "Orodite", which is virtually indestructible and blasts from bazookoids will only make the material stronger. Slaves are sold from a podium in the manner of an auction.
The universal currency of the Brefewino is Brefewinan, a kind of green lumpy paste in jars (made from small delicately preserved pulses) which Dave Lister notes resembles the consistency of mushy peas. Jars of Brefewinan are used as gaming chips in the Brefewino gambling game of choice, four-dimensional pontoon, in which you bet on the hand you're going to get next.
Brefewino marketplaces, placed in the centre of their trading posts, are bustling with activity and are perhaps the busiest places in Deep Space, attracting all manner of GELFs to trade. Sometimes even humans may enter. Despite this, in order to enter a Brefewino trading post one must be a merchant or trader, as it is with the Kinitawowi.
Brefewino customs are slightly more complex (Kinitawowi will usually accept any stranger who is willing to offer items of any worth) and in order to enter a Brefewino trading post one must show exactly what their specific profession is with a "badge of merchantship". In the "lost episode" Identity Within, these badges as worn by the Dwarfers were: Lister wore a potato to signify he was a farmer; Cat wore some asprin to signify he was an apothecary; Kryten wore a hairbrush to signify he was a barber; and Rimmer wore a frying pan to signify he was a chef (or as Lister said, a "tosser").
Brefewino gambling dens resemble a Star Wars canteena (see Mos Eisley Cantina). Brefewino music utilises more traditional instruments but is still fairly raucous. Brefewino beer is exceptionally strong, which is why Dave Lister was tempted to drink in a Brefewino boozing pit.
[edit] Pleasure GELFs
Pleasure Gelfs are, in their natural form, amorphous, green slimy blobs around 1.5 metres high. In this default form they have a single tentacle-like appendage with an eye on the end. This appearance is generally considered repulsive; Cat notes they look like "something that fell out of the Sphinx's nose".
At least one Pleasure GELF has resolved to finding a "cure" for its "condition"; perhaps permanently transforming the natural appearance to something more appealing.
Pleasure GELFs are telepathic. They can sense whatever the people around them would be attracted to, and make them believe that this is what they're seeing. The Pleasure GELF named Camille (in the episode Camille) took the form of a female Series 4000 GTi mechanoid when rescued from a wreck by Kryten. It wished to hide its true nature from him, but was unable to do so when the crew compared notes. Rimmer saw it as his sister-in-law Janine, Lister saw it as a Liverpudlian woman, and the Cat saw it as himself. Holly didn't see anything, stating that it was because she didn't have any desires, or possibly her screen was foggy. (Given the attraction between Holly and Hilly in Parallel Universe, it is surprising that she did not see Hilly, with a face like either her own or that of her previous male incarnation).
When the Dwarfers realised they were seeing their dream partners, and indeed they were seeing different women, Camille was forced to reveal her true nature. Despite its repulsive natural form, Kryten decided he loved it anyway and began dating it. Camille eventually left to help its partner, a Pleasure GELF named Hector, in its attempts to cure their condition. Kryten willingly allowed Camille to go after Lister and himself had watched the film Casablanca.
[edit] Emotional vampires
[edit] The Polymorph
A polymorph is a shape-shifting organism that can change into anything it pleases, and lives by draining a person of a negative emotion. The natural form of the Polymorph is a small reddish/brown creature with huge teeth and spindly arms, that scuttles around on its underbelly.
It was designed to be the perfect warrior, blending into any background, causing confusion and disarray amongst the enemy by playing with their emotions, but the creature mutated into something terrifying its creators couldn't control. When it boarded Red Dwarf in a genetic waste pod (in the episode Polymorph) it drained Lister of his fear, the Cat of his vanity, Kryten of his guilt and Rimmer of his anger. As a result the crew became quite different people, but managed to defeat the monster with heat-seeking laser bolts and their emotions were immediately returned.
In the novel Better Than Life, the polymorph has similar effects, except that the shock of regaining his fear kills Lister (who at this time is in his 60s, due to time dilation). The crew then takes Lister's body to a backwards universe, where they will pick him up in 36 years time, when he has de-aged to his "normal" age. In Backwards he stays for half a century.
One of the polymorph's forms appears very similar to the Alien from the movie Alien (1979). Many other similarities between their behaviour exist as well, such as picking off crew members one by one.
According to the placated Rimmer, "just because it's an armour-plated alien killing machine that salivates unspeakable slobber, doesn't mean it's a bad person."
[edit] EmoHawk
The "EmoHawk" is short for "Emotion Hawk"; it is a Polymorph whose natural form is something similar to a large bird or hawk. Like all Polymorphs, the EmoHawk is emotional leech - it steals emotions from other living creatures. However, the Emohawks are domesticated variants of Polymorphs that are spayed at birth, raised by the Kinitawowi and trained to do their bidding. Emotions drained by the EmoHawks are a highly valued trading commodity amongst the Kinitawowi.
The EmoHawk can also metamorphose at their master's behest, with years of training. The creature was first seen in the episode EmoHawk: Polymorph II in which it transformed into a rabbit, lamp, a chicken, a tin of beans, and a beach ball.
The EmoHawk seems to be able to drain specific apsects of an individiual's personality as well as mere emotions; it drains Arnold Rimmer of his bitterness and Cat of his cool, turning them into Ace Rimmer and Duane Dibbley.
[edit] Psirens
In the episode of the same name in the sixth series of the show, Psirens are GELFs with similar traits to the Polymorph in that they can telepathically alter the perception of humans. In their natural form, Psirens are insectiods standing at around two metres high and look something like giant beetles, with giant bulbous eyes and a large carapace. Psirens live in an asteroid belt and use telepathic illusions to lure travellers to the asteroids, in order to suck out their brains with a straw. It appears Psirens need to eat human brains in order to survive.
The Psirens achieve their ends in a manner similar the Sirens of Greek mythology. Lister, for example, sees Psirens who have assumed the appearance of women he loved in the past such as Kochanski (played by Clare Grogan), or a glamorous woman (Samantha Robson) whom he lusted for all through puberty.
All other GELFs were created with some purpose which they outgrew, or for which they turned out not to be suited. Conceivably Psirens were an earlier/later attempt at a psychic warrior along the lines of the Polymorph. In common with the Polymorph and the Pleasure Gelf it has the ability to change its appearance and read emotions. Unlike the Polymorph which feeds psychically off emotions Psirens appear to eat physical brain matter.
[edit] GELFs in the Red Dwarf novels
[edit] Symbi-morph
The novel Last Human features a GELF called a Symbi-morph which is very similar to the Pleasure Gelf, but seems to have actual shape-shifting abilities. Its neutral or "true" form is an (apparently) androgynous or possibly asexual humanoid with a black and white matrix colour scheme. It has five telepathic hooks which it can fire into someone to read their mind and shape-shift accordingly, with each additional hook making the connection more powerful. Lister was allowed to spend a night with a symbi-morph before fulfilling a deal to get rid of an eighteen-year prison sentence, but rather than being given a "broken" one (one who is not bonded telepathically to anyone) he was given Reketrebn, a symbi-morph who was bonded with four hooks to an abusive Dingotang named Deki. Although they were only bonded with one hook, Lister managed to convince Reketrebn to help him escape and run away from Deki, by whom it was being severely mistreated.
[edit] Dingotangs
Seen in the book Last Human, they are chimera-type GELFs: orangutans with the heads of dingoes.
[edit] Dolochimps
Seen in the book Last Human, they are chimera-type GELFs with the heads of dolphins, the bodies of chimpanzees and the legs of giant locusts.
[edit] Alberogs
Seen in the book Last Human, they are chimera-type GELFs with the heads of albatrosses, the bodies of bears and the legs of giant frogs. Alberogs make up most of the population of the asteroid Arranguu 12, the site of the Gelf Forum of Justice. The Regulator of Justice is an Alberog.
[edit] Snugiraffes
Seen in the book Last Human, they are chimera-type GELFs with the heads of cobras, the bodies of giant slugs and the legs of giraffes, who also appear to have had a bucket of mucus thrown at them. Snugiraffes are called the most repulsive creatures ever to have lived, with the exception of George Formby — even just seeing them can trigger vomiting (or, in the case of holograms and mechanoids, dry-retching). They are still highly prized, however, because they eat everyone else's effluence and process it into a smokeless fuel. The warden of Cyberia, the cyber-prison on the asteroid Lotomi 5, is a Snugiraffe. It isn't troubled by the reaction other beings have to its appearance, considering vomiting to be a form of greeting.
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| Characters: | Dave Lister · Arnold Rimmer · Holly · Cat · Kryten · Kristine Kochanski · Other characters | |||
| Media: | Episodes · Red Dwarf Remastered · Prelude to Nanarchy | |||
| Books: | Red Dwarf: Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers · Better Than Life · Last Human · Backwards | |||
| Concepts: | Smeg · Computer senility · Dollarpound · Felis sapiens · GELF · Silicon Heaven · Space Corps Directives | |||
| Other: | Rob Grant · Doug Naylor · Grant Naylor · Dave Hollins: Space Cadet · Red Dwarf ships | |||
