User talk:Filiocht/Abbey theatre

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I'm running out to catch a train so I don't have time to edit the article. Here's my list of suggestions, being at my most nit-picking. If there's anything not in this list then I think it's perfect. I know it's long, but I really do mean that every tiny issue I saw is listed here. Overall a great article. I expect the finished article will be featured quality. If you don't feel like merging these suggestions into the article I'll do it when I get home. Please comment on any you object to.

  • "Dublin" -> "Dublin, Ireland"
    • I suspect there are plenty of English-speakers who don't know where Dublin is.
  • "Irish Free State" -> "Irish Free State"
    • I can't imagine reading that sentence and not wanting to know what the Irish Free State was.
  • "leading Irish playwrights" -> "leading Irish playwrights"
  • "foreign, particularly North American audiences," -> "foreign, particularly North American, audiences"
    • Match the commas so that the sentence still flows when the secondary clause is dropped.
  • "Irish tourist industry" -> "Irish tourist industry"
  • "the recently failed Irish Literary Theatre" -> "the failed Irish Literary Theatre"
    • To avoid ambiguity in the word recently, which I (and apparently the dictionaries I checked) would always take to mean "just before the present", rather than "just before". I couldn't find a better word for it here.
  • "to little public acclaim" -> "to little public praise"
    • I think "acclaim" is a superlative, so this phrase would be similar to saying an ant "isn't very huge" rather than "isn't very big".
  • "in the Yeats play" -> " in Yeats' play"
    • Personal preference to avoid using names adjectivally.
  • "Thanks in no small part to the fact that Maud Gonne played the lead in the Yeats play, the run, which played to a mainly working-class audience, was a great success." -> "The performances played to a mainly working-class audience. The run was a great success, thanks in part to the fact that Maud Gonne played the lead in Yeats' play."
    • Two ideas deserve two sentences.
  • "Englishwoman" -> "Englishwoman"
    • First mention of England in the article.
  • "in her capacity as Yeats' unpaid secretary" -> "as Yeats' unpaid secretary"
    • No need for superfluous words
  • "formally accepted her offer" -> "formally accepted Horniman's offer"
    • There are lots of names floating around in that paragraph, I think it's easier to understand if we avoid the pronoun in this case.
  • "paid for by her but ranted in the name of Lady Gregory" -> "paid for by her but granted in the name of Lady Gregory"
    • I puzzled over this typo for a second.
  • "December 27" -> "December 27"
    • Always wikify dates.
  • "Gorniman" -> "Horniman"
    • That one was easier to spot.
  • " to be organising publicity" -> " to organise publicity"
  • "witht he" -> "with the"
  • "al the other theatre" -> "all the other theatres"
  • "a not inconsiderable sum" -> "a considerable sum"
  • "some what" -> "somewhat"
  • "Department of Finance" -> "Department of Finance"
  • "Irish" -> "Irish"
    • Typo in the link
  • "to be maintained state" -> "to be state-maintained"
  • "started up downstairs" -> "started downstairs"
    • Same meaning but without the slightly jarring "up down".
  • "European" -> "European"

Questions:

  • "Æ's play"
    • Who or what is Æ? The link goes to a description of the ligature.
  • "after the authorities closed the Hibernia"
    • Any idea which authorities?
  • "The relationship betewwn Annie Horniman were already strained"
    • Do you have any information on the causes of strain, so it can be mentioned earlier?

Again, I want to point out that if I were to try to list the things that I liked about the article it would be significantly longer than this. —Rory ☺ 12:42, Sep 14, 2004 (UTC)

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