Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Youngstown, Ohio/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article review. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted 23:04, 16 March 2007.

[edit] Youngstown, Ohio

Already a good article, the article about this city in Ohio is about as good as it can get. Thus, it should become a featured article, and rival other featured article cities. Lorty 01:38, 4 March 2007 (UTC)

• Comment The Demographics section needs references, as does Post-steel economy and Transportation. Don't wikilink solo years (years alone) such as 1969. Full dates like September 19, 1977 should be wikilinked - September 19, 1977. Education section contains several one sentence paragraphs, remove, merge or expand. Historical Society[1]. - external jump that needs to be converted into a reference. The park also features two golf courses: an 18-hole short holes course, and a 36-hole professional course - needs a reference. Web references are incorrectly formatted and are just blue URL's, they need a title, publisher (website you got it from) author and date if applicable and date last accessed, {{cite web}} template can help with this. At this stage i neither support or oppose but it does need work, if my concerns are addressed i will have another look. M3tal H3ad 09:00, 4 March 2007 (UTC)

Most of those issues should be taken care of. Please take another looks and give your assessment. Cheers, Daysleeper47 12:45, 14 March 2007 (UTC)

• Comment for now - slightly slanted in favor of the city. Take out some of the puffery and advertising language.
  • 65 miles - WP:UNITS
  • located in, and heavily affected, by - move second comma one word right
  • He plotted the town in that year, which was recorded on August 19, 1802, with the date and name of "Youngstown, 1797" - What?
  • Within a year, Youngstown was the home of several families, who were concentrated near the point where Mill Creek meets the Mahoning River - dump both commas
  • With the opening of the city's steel mills, - when?
  • borders or touches - why not just borders?
  • According to the 2000 Census numbers, Youngstown has - that's a while ago, I'd say "had"
  • Demographics section is pretty dry. How does it compare to other town in Ohio or the US? Older, younger, more crowded, whiter, blacker, richer, poorer?
  • For every 100 females, there are 91.9 males. For every 100 females age 18 and over, there are 87.8 males. - math doesn't work. Must mean 87.8 males ages 18 or over.
  • premiere - premier, probably
  • Unfortunately, Fortunately,- we can't opine thusly
  • Youngstown Iron Sheet and Tube Company (a name that would later be shortened to reflect the company's emphasis on steel products).... Youngstown also served as headquarters for the Youngstown Sheet and Tube Company - redundant
  • the WCI Steel plant, are - dump comma
  • many Americans might be surprised to learn - puffery
  • September 19, 1977 - WP:DATE

--AnonEMouse ^(squeak) 19:42, 15 March 2007 (UTC)

• Object Image:City seal.gif has no fair use rationales, and the logos in the table of sports team seem to be decorative. ShadowHalo 08:31, 16 March 2007 (UTC)

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article review. No further edits should be made to this page.