Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Mourning Dove/Archive 1

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[edit] Mourning Dove

Self-nom. I feel that this article covers all aspects and angles of this and has lots of pictures, including a gallery. It includes a section on its role in the arts and its being a gamebird. It meets all of the criteria for being a featured article. There was a Peer Review and since I have finally gotten around to adding a range map I am finished with all of the suggestions. Miss Madeline | Talk to Madeline 23:49, 24 November 2006 (UTC)

  • Object - suggest a heavier copyediting, check out User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a. Just from the first couple of sections,
    • but many individuals migrate south to winter- south for winter
    • Habitats include a range of open and semi-open habitats, including cities. definitely can be reworded, as habitats is used twice
    • The bird is abundant and common, with around 130 million birds. Not particularly sure if this is erronous, but instead of a bird = 130 million birds, I think this species or something similar will be better.
    • Both parents care for the young for a time before often having another clutch. before often sounds wrong somehow.
    • The Mourning Dove has a large range of nearly 11 million square kilometers (6.8 million mi²) I hope doves aren't 7 million square miles large each.
    • around late March through April and ends in May Since April is between March and May, there is no need to explicitly mention April. (plus, it's not done in the next sentence)
    • Those further south are more sedentary, with much shorter migrations. I'm confused at this sentence; if they're flying further south, wouldn't they have longer migrations?
    • The current classification of those three birds, including the Mourning Dove, has them all in the genus Zenaida. Take a look at Tony1's redundancy part of the guide. all is redundant here. Also, not so sure about this, but shouldn't those be these (these is used in the previous sentence)? Overall, I think this sentence is worded a bit awkwardly too.
    • Shouldn't the last paragraph of "Taxonomy and distribution" be in the lead?
    • lighter and pinkish could be shortened to light pink
  • Outside of copyediting, "As a symbol and in the arts" needs expansion or merging. Also, there will probably people who will be against the inclusion of the photo gallery at the end. AZ t 01:21, 25 November 2006 (UTC)
  • Object and Comment "South to winter" is correct, with "winter" being a verb. See "Winter"'s Wiktionary entry. However, I agree with the rest of AZ's comments - this article is a future featured article, but isn't ready quite yet. An additional thought is that in the "As a symbol and in the arts" section - the section's picture shouldn't take up more space than the section itself - especially in a Featured Article. The section looks like it could use some expansion, but if it can't be expanded further, the picture should at least be re-sized to match the size of the section. --Tim4christ17 talk 07:43, 25 November 2006 (UTC)
    • The painting has been taken out and a copyedit has been done. For example, the lead now mentions other names, the sentences about the range have been edited, redundant words mentioned have been taken out. Miss Madeline | Talk to Madeline 00:45, 26 November 2006 (UTC)
  • Object with comment. This article has a lot of excellent content, and the bird itself is a fascinating organism that many North Americans routinely see. Someone really thought about what to put in this article, doing a good job. Particularly the content itself of the opening paragraph is well-done, and this area is not always so well-done on Wikipedia.
  • However, it needs serious copyedit work, as I don't think it's particularly readable as is, and am surprised it passed peer-review to this point. Others gave some ideas that I agree with. I think it should be removed from FAC for now. Still, it has had enough work and care about content that it deserves the effort to get it up to FAC status, imo. But it's nowhere near ready now.
    • The species is a strong flier. The species doesn't fly, the members of the species do.
    • The Mourning Dove occurs in its large range of nearly 11 million square kilometers (6.8 million mi²). Not well written. "The Mourning dove occurs [sparsely, densely, everywhere below 1500m in elevation, whatever] throughout its range of nearly 11 million square miles."
    • The Mourning Dove inhabits most areas of its range, including urban areas, farms, prairie, grassland, and lightly wooded areas. It avoids thick forest and swamps. Redundant and not particularly well said, since its range is where it lives, one assumes that that is what it inhabits, but maybe you meant something else. How about just the sentence about its range, and then add "Within this range, the mourning dove avoids dense forests and swamps." 'Dense' is probably better, as this is probably what is meant. Does it avoid swamps or just dense swamps?
  • KP Botany 01:19, 26 November 2006 (UTC)
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