Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Michigan State University

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[edit] Michigan State University

Self nomination. (Peer review.) I've put a lot of research and writing into this page. Let me know if it's ready to be a Featured Article. Lovelac7 18:57, 3 January 2006 (UTC)

Excellent job - support with the following comments:

  • Good intro, except for the following issues
    • Sentance 2 is a bit unweildy - might it be better as two sentances?
    • Introduction as a whole - I would switch a lot of the content between the first and second paragraph. The first paragraph is too historical - it should be pithier, get to the point more quickly.
  • History
    • Agricultural school - this section could use some stylistic improvement; the wording a a bit too chatty in places (this is true for several sections of the text)
    • Land Grant pioneer - since it's a new section, Williams' full name should be used again
    • Big Ten University: "One of Hannah's strategies was to build a new residence hall...and use the income to start construction on a new dormitory." - should the two terms, "residence hall" and "dormitory" be uses like that in a sentance? I would prefer "dormitory" both because it's the more familiar word to most people (i.e., those who have not gone through American colleges in the last 15 or so years) and because, I suspect that it was the term in use during Hannah's presidency.
    • Global leader by 2012 - the first of the three riots, the Gunson Street Riot, took place in September of 1997 [1]
  • Academics
    • Demographics - the language used here is a bit too US-centric and might be difficult for an non-American to understand
  • Student Life
    • Activism - I remember reading something about MSU students taking a leading role in the boycott of companies like Coca COla who had large investments in South Africa. If you could find a reference for that it would round out the section nicely
    • Media - the article says that WKAR AM plays talk, while WKAR FM plays classical music. I remember it being the other way around; could you double check that?

Guettarda 22:32, 3 January 2006 (UTC)

  • Done. — Lovelac7 23:40, 3 January 2006 (UTC)
  • Concern. There are several sections where the wording does not flow very well, notably in the first section of academics. It seems that the article is jumping from one idea to another without any transition between the two (one criterion for FA is exceptional prose). Also, there are a number common English words that do not need to be linked, such as "summer" and "retail." The content on the other hand looks comprehensive. Pentawing 00:44, 4 January 2006 (UTC)
    • Pentawing, I asked Tony1 for some advice on improving the prose. He had some very helpful suggestions that I'm working on right now. — Lovelac7 17:48, 4 January 2006 (UTC)
      • I went through the article and cleaned up some wording and formatting issues. The only thing I see (though this is minor) is the arrangement of images. Images are usually aligned to the right at the beginning of each section under H2 headings. Pentawing 21:36, 8 January 2006 (UTC)
        • I have moved some of the images around so that the article looks better. — Lovelac7 05:26, 11 January 2006 (UTC)
  • Conditional Support - This needs a couple of minor copyedits, but nothing major. I'm going to go make a few small changes myself. Otherwise, it looks great! - Cuivienen 03:22, 4 January 2006 (UTC)
    • Thanks for your help, Cuivienen. It helps to have "fresh eyes" looking at the article. — Lovelac7 17:48, 4 January 2006 (UTC)
  • Support. Tony 01:10, 5 January 2006 (UTC)
  • Looks very good (excellent use of inline citations!), but there's a note problem—54 in the text, 53 in the notes section. The pictures seem rather large at the beginning, though that's not a big deal. I'll read over it some more before supporting. I'm rather perturbed at the sequence of events here, however—all these Big Ten schools becoming featured, while the article on the best of all of them, Penn State, remains rather pathetic. I suppose I should get to work =). --Spangineeres (háblame) 05:44, 6 January 2006 (UTC)
    • Spangineer, thanks for pointing out the missing endnote. I found the one that was missing and cited it. I also shrunk a few of the pictures, especially the first one of the river, which was out of proportion to the rest. As for the PSU article, it is in better shape than the MSU article was just a month ago. Maybe there should be a Wikiproject:Big Ten to coordinate them. We'll see. Lovelac7 16:01, 6 January 2006 (UTC)
      • Great. Support, though if you are looking at the article in 800x600, the map and the picture of the forest make that section look bad. Moving one of them out of the way or shrinking them would be helpful. --Spangineeres (háblame) 00:23, 7 January 2006 (UTC)
  • Support. Very nice work. This article is leaps and bounds above where it was when you took over. There's still a bit of language focused on highlighting the best features, especially in the lead, but the rest of the article is about as NPOV as I think you could get. Two specific points, 1)the sentence in the Global leader section that reads "This has not been easy. In recent years, "town and gown" relations have soured as students and permanent residents looked at each other with increasing hostility, which erupted in riots..." makes it sound like the resident and student relations resulted in riots directly. I think it would be better just to say the riots that occured made the relations even more strained. 2) The campus section doesn't note anything about all the land the University owns all over the country (and some international I think). I've heard that totals more than the land in EL itself. Maybe that doesn't count as campus since it's just research land, but a short mention of that would be good. - Taxman Talk 15:58, 7 January 2006 (UTC)
    • Thanks for your help and support, Taxman. I fixed the bit about the riots and added a line about university-owned land around Michigan. I haven't yet found anything on any internationally-owned lands. — Lovelac7 04:45, 11 January 2006 (UTC)
  • Support This is simply excellent. Great use of inline citations! One day, when I get around to it, I hope to make the article on Texas A&M University this thorough and well written :) --Naha|(talk) 15:52, 9 January 2006 (UTC)
  • Support. A gorgeous example for all to follow in the future. Ambi 23:18, 10 January 2006 (UTC)
  • Support A complete and neutral article, well illustrated and expertly written NorseOdin 05:47, 11 January 2006 (UTC)
  • Support Featured article material.. Very well written. Durantalk 01:50, 12 January 2006 (UTC)
  • Support I added a lot to the history section as well as spice up, rearrange and greatly expand the alumni section. But Lovelac7 has taken the lead in organizing and giving the look to this main article and deserves much credit. A couple suggestions: re NPOV, I think the intro goes a bit overboard negative-wise. Why is there a need to mention the use of teaching assistants in upper-level classes in the intro when it's also mentioned in the body? I understand the summary nature of an intro, but this is not the kind of summary item that belongs up front and it seems like overkill -- no other similar university comes of so negative in the intro. Second, I think the intro is too long -- it's almost an article in itself and could use some trimming. On the positive, I called for, and received, more shots of older campus buildings rather than only the big sterile ones south of the Red Cedar River. There does seem to be a tad too many snowy/wintery shots, is there only one season in Michigan? But again, I like the way this article has come along and believe it deserves to be a featured article. 141.151.70.169 05:32, 18 January 2006 (UTC)05:31, 18 January 2006 (UTC)
    • It's not always winter in Michigan, but sometimes it feels like it. Seriously though, the reason that there's so many winter pictures is that it's the middle of January. All of the photos are self-taken, most within the last month. One of the requirements of a Featured Article is to use free photos instead of copyrighted ones whenever possible. I live a mile from campus, and I like photography, so this article a good way to work on my hobby. I have a few more shots that I took last week when it was sunny and 56. I'll check them out. — Lovelac7 14:42, 18 January 2006 (UTC)
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