Father Jack Hackett

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Frank Kelly as Father Jack, with his short lived pet brick
Frank Kelly as Father Jack, with his short lived pet brick

Father Jack Hackett is a fictional character in the Channel 4 television series Father Ted. The character (played by Frank Kelly) is the deeply alcoholic, and at times violently psychotic, third priest in Father Ted's household. According to one of Graham Linehan's former peers at Catholic University School in Dublin, Fr. Hackett has been based on one of the former resident priests at the school.

Through much of the series he is comatose in his chair and most of his waking moments are spent calling for alcohol. Despite his feeble appearance, he is capable of impressive feats such as stealing drink at seemingly impossible speeds. Jack is also able to tell the vintage and variety of wine just from the sound of the bottle clinking.

Jack is a chronic alcoholic and is in a constantly inebriated state. As a result of this, his speech is crude and limited. The few words he speaks occasionally are "Drink!", "Feck!", "Arse!" and "Girls!", though occasionally he blurts out nonsensical comments like "Are those my feet?", "I like cake!" and "I'm a happy camper!". Once, Father Ted tried to improve his speech with some success; he learned the phrases "Yes!" and "That would be an ecumenical matter!" so that he could communicate at a basic level with three bishops that were guests on Craggy Island. Jack uses his alcoholism to escape from his depressing life on the island; during Lent one year, he became sober and was shocked to learn that he was "still on that feckin' island!"

His alcoholism has progressed to such a degree that he will drink many household cleaning products. On one occasion, he consumed a bottle of floor polish and was pronounced dead. However it transpired he had only "the symptoms of death"- including rigor mortis and decomposition. In one episode he also drinks the household cleaning product 'toilet duck' and embarks on a hallucinogenic trip.

Jack is also very violent, although it is not clear if this is a consequence of his alcoholism or his personality. He regularly attacks people, but although he apparently gave Father Dougal a "kick up the arse", it is Father Ted who gets the worse treatment. On various occasions, he has smashed Ted over the head with an assortment of blunt instruments, thrown him through a window and even once ran him over with his car. He once threw a teacup in the direction of an oblivious Mrs. Doyle when she failed to get the message that he didn't want a cup of tea (despite a growing pile of ignored teacups and saucers she had left beside him). Once when asked "What do you say to a cup, Father?", his succinct response was "Feck off, cup!!!". He once attacked Bishop Len Brennan, being the only person in the house who doesn't fear him. He has to be restrained regularly due to his violence; his bed is surrounded by bars and barbed wire and he has to wear a straight jacket when in bed.

His personal hygiene is dubious. He has a constant ring of scabs around his mouth and his hair is wiry, wild and, evidently extremely thick, since he once failed to notice that the top of his head had ignited after attempting to light a cigar in the household fire. His entire head once went septic and he contracted a strange disease that caused hair of great length to grow all over his body. He keeps a terribly malodourous underpants hamper in his room, which was used to imprison Bishop Brennan's assistant, Father Jessup. Whenever his nails have to be cut, people have to wear protective safety gear, such as helmets, to protect against being injured by his incredibly strong nails.

[edit] References in popular culture

In the sci-fi show Farscape, there is an obvious nod to Father Jack in the episode "A Prefect Murder". In the episode there is a character called Paroon, a strange alien priest. The character's face has been moulded in the same shape as Father Jack's grimace.

There is a page dedicated to photoshopping Jack's face onto various recognisable images for use as avatars[[1]].

[edit] Trivia

  • Playing the French National Anthem makes Father Jack demand that everyone in the room stand to attention and sing.
  • For a short period during leap years, he transforms into a Val Doonican-like character dancing through meadows, singing by the fireside, giving sweets to children and playing with Labrador puppies.
  • He once had a pet brick ("I love my brick!") Seconds later, he throws the brick at Father Ted's head, declaring "Fed up with briiiiick!"
  • When he was younger he was a teacher. He taught P.E. and a fiercely dogmatic form of Catholicism.
  • He was the first priest to denounce the Beatles.
  • He has a phobia of nuns.
  • It is claimed that he could've been elected Pope, if not for "those feckin' Jesuits."
  • During the episode 'The Plague', he briefly answered to the name 'Flipper the Priest'.
Father Ted
Characters
Main characters: Father Ted Crilly | Father Dougal McGuire | Father Jack Hackett | Mrs. Doyle
Minor and recurring characters: Bishop Brennan | Father Noel Furlong | Father Larry Duff | Father Fintan Stack | Eoin McLove
Episodes
Series 1: Good Luck, Father Ted | Entertaining Father Stone | The Passion of St Tibulus | Competition Time | And God Created Woman | Grant unto Him Eternal Rest
Series 2: Hell | Think Fast, Father Ted | Tentacles of Doom | The Old Grey Whistle Theft | Song for Europe | The Plague | Rock-a-Hula Ted | Cigarettes and Alcohol and Rollerblading | New Jack City | Flight into Terror
Christmas special: A Christmassy Ted
Series 3: Are You Right There, Father Ted? | Chirpy Burpy Cheap Sheep | Speed 3 | The Mainland | Escape from Victory | Kicking Bishop Brennan up the Arse | Night of the Nearly Dead | Going to America
Cast & Crew
Main cast: Dermot Morgan | Ardal O'Hanlon | Frank Kelly | Pauline McLynn | Main crew: Arthur Mathews | Graham Linehan
Recurring cast: Jim Norton | Graham Norton | Tony Guilfoyle | Pat Shortt
Minor Appearances: Brendan Grace | Patrick McDonnell | Jon Kenny | Tommy Tiernan | Joe Rooney | Ed Byrne | Gerard McSorley | Clare Grogan | Jason Byrne | Barry Murphy
Other & Related Pages
Craggy Island | Rugged Island | "My Lovely Horse" | Feck | Ted Fest