Fast Times at Buddy Cianci, Jr. High

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“Fast Times at Buddy Cianci, Jr. High”
Family Guy episode

Episode no.	Season 4 Episode 2
Guest stars	Drew Barrymore
Written by	Ken Goins
Directed by	Pete Michels
Production no.	4ACX02
Original airdate	May 8, 2005
Episode chronology
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"North by North Quahog"	"Blind Ambition"
List of Family Guy episodes

"Fast Times at Buddy Cianci, Jr. High" is an episode from the fourth season of the FOX animated television series Family Guy. Guest starring Drew Barrymore as Mrs. Lockheart. The title of the episode is a parody of the title of the film Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

[edit] Plot summary

Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.

When Chris's beloved teacher wins the lottery and quits, Lois suggests Brian fill in as a substitute. He enjoys the job but is moved to another class for troubled kids and unintentionally teaches them to aspire to low-level jobs.

Brian behaves "street" in an attempt to establish a rapport with his class.

Meanwhile, Chris is instantly smitten with his new teacher, Mrs. Lockheart. Lois is not pleased with this. After she and Peter talk to Mrs. Lockheart, she promises to be with Chris if he kills her husband, though he does not do it. When Lois finds the teacher's written instructions in Chris' laundry, she and Stewie conspire to cover up the plot. Back at home, the rest of the family treat Chris differently because they thought he actually killed Mrs. Lockheart's husband, until it is shown on the news that it was really Mrs. Lockheart and a bear. In the last scene Mrs. Lockheart and the bear are found in a motel, with Mrs. Lockheart all dressed up for a nice evening dinner while the bear is lying on the bed watching television. She sits down on the side of the bed while the bear taps her with his left foot and with a satirical but somewhat loving manner says "Love you" and with that the episode concludes.

[edit] Notes

Despite the promise in the opening credits, the Greased-Up Deaf Guy does not appear in the episode.

Brian throws his mug in the garbage can.

In the Vol. 3 Family Guy DVD, there was a musical sequence where Brian encourages the students in the remedial class to work low-level jobs. The versions aired on TV and on the DVD have an alternate scene where the remedial students are sold on the idea of working low-level jobs, but Brian tries to talk them out of it until finally he gives in.

When Brian first enters the English Remedial class, the Asian kid in the orange jumper disappears before he goes completely out of the frame.

When Lois and Peter are telling Mrs. Lockhart of Chris's attraction to her the chairs they sit in change color.

When Seth McFarlane guest-starred on a season 12 episode of "MADtv", he used the scene where Peter and Lois suspect Chris of killing his teacher's husband in a sketch where McFarlane reveals that two prototypical versions of "Family Guy"--one done in live action (with Seth as Peter, Arden Myrin as Lois, Bobby Lee as Stewie, Frank Caeti as Chris, and Crista Flanagan as Meg), which was rejected after the actress playing Meg hurts herself after jumping out the window; and another done with Seth as the voice of Peter, Dane Cook (Ike Barinholtz) as Chris, Snoop Dogg (Keegan-Michael Key) as Stewie, Queen Latifah (Nicole Randall Johnson) as Meg, and Kathy Griffin (Nicole Parker) as Lois.

[edit] Cultural references

The opening credits are a parody of those of Law & Order. Note that the Greased-Up Deaf Guy was included in the "Order" section of the opening, reserved for lawyers on Law & Order; he mentions that he was previously a lawyer in the episode "North by North Quahog".
Mrs. Lockheart's name is a likely reference to Gilderoy Lockhart, a professor from the Harry Potter series upon whom female students develop crushes.
Mrs. Lockheart's name could also be a reference to Final Fantasy VII's Tifa Lockhart, who is also known for her absurdly large breasts.
The entire Chris' subplot is based on film noir storylines, noticeably Niagara, To Die For and The Postman Always Rings Twice in which a femme fatale (Mrs. Lockheart) seduces a gullible hero (Chris) into killing her husband.
In March 1991, Pamela Smart seduced a sixteen year old boy and convinced him to kill her husband, in the same way Mrs. Lockheart seduces Chris.
Peter explains how he met Ted Danson who was portrayed as having a huge, jutting forehead. ("Sometimes it's good to be a freak.")
The green slime Peter gets when he says "I don't know" (followed by the music and the title screen) is from the kids' sketch comedy show You Can't Do That on Television.
Lois calls Brian "Mr. Kot-tair!", as in Welcome Back, Kotter.
A scene depicts Ben Affleck and Matt Damon arguing over whether Matt should credit Ben on the first copy of Good Will Hunting script. Matt tells Ben all he did was eat Breyer's ice cream and smoke pot, while Matt did all the work. This is a nod to the actual controversy over whether both Ben and Matt wrote the Oscar-winning screenplay.
Brian dresses in costume, as Mark Twain when they read The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, while teaching like Richard Mulligan in Teachers.
Brian's students seem to be like the students in the film Dangerous Minds, and Brian's subplot on teaching these students is based on the film's plot itself.
Chris mistakes Brian's Mark Twain for Cap'n Crunch.
Brian, as Mark Twain, declares former president James Garfield's short term in office corrupt. A boy says he died in office because he was shot and died almost three months later after a resultant infection.
A flashback depicts Vincent van Gogh giving a woman his ear, then his penis.
After Peter reminds Lois about his classic "naked spaceman" get-up, she seductively asks him if he wants some Tang. Tang was a popular beverage among astronauts during space missions; it is also a double entendre, as an abbreviated reference to a slang term for female genitalia.
Mrs. Lockheart gives a lesson on George Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four.

"Uh...Marie?" "Yeah, Donnie?" "We CANNOT tell mom."

There are two incest jokes in this episode:
- A cutaway implies that sibling singers Donny and Marie Osmond had sex together. They are known for their "squeaky clean" Mormon image.
- Peter used to be one of the Wonder Twins from the Super Friends. Unlike Zan, he doesn't transform into a form of water. Rather, he takes the shape of Jayna's tampon, hops into her purse, and proceeds to play "the waiting game."
Peter tells Lois she didn't give him his Batman drinking glass.
One of the remedial kids writes a dim-witted report on Great Expectations.
While Stewie is doing the robot, he says, "Let's see the kid with the hearing aid from Barney do this." One of the regulars on Barney & Friends was a near-deaf youth who appeared early in the series.
While teaching Romeo and Juliet, Brian puts on a fake urban hip-hop persona and calls Tupac Shakur and Biggie his boys.
After Peter gets amnesia in a flashback, he thinks he's Larry from Three's Company.
Brian's students get up on the desks and recite Walt Whitman's O Captain! My Captain!, as the students do in Dead Poets Society.
Stewie contrasts Peter's underwear to a Jackson Pollock painting. Pollock was a famous artist known for his paintings of splattered paint.
Stewie says he had a dream where he was hatched by Elisabeth Hasselbeck, a co-host on The View.
Lois confuses the prison drama Oz with The Wizard of Oz.
The Griffins are about to (enthusiastically) watch Joan of Arcadia but are interrupted by the news.