Entertaining Father Stone
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| “Entertaining Father Stone” | |
|---|---|
| Father Ted episode | |
| Episode no. | Season 1 Episode 2 |
| Written by | Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews |
| Original airdate | 28 April 1995 |
| Episode chronology | |
| ← Previous | Next → |
| "Good Luck, Father Ted" | "The Passion of St Tibulus" |
| List of Father Ted episodes | |
"Entertaining Father Stone" is the 2nd episode of Channel 4 sitcom Father Ted.
[edit] Synopsis
The episode opens with Dougal and Ted doing a jigsaw puzzle, with Dougal cutting the pieces into shape, and the pair of them discussing what they would wish for if they had three wishes and Dougal, proving that he has a limited imagination, is unable to think of anything without prior suggestion from Ted.
The following day, Ted announces to a horrified Dougal that Father Paul Stone has come for his holidays. For the preceding six years every summer, Father Stone has visited the parochial house; he is extremely boring and is unable to hold a conversation, giving one-sentence answers at the most. To try to stop him from coming, Ted told Father Stone lies - "great, big, massive lies with fecking bells hanging off them" - but this failed to deter him.
Ted and Dougal attempt to make Father Stone leave; they say that they're going on holidays, but he offers to mind the house while they're gone. Having to think of a new excuse quickly, Dougal says that they are having the paintings re-hung, which will prevent anyone from remaining in the house for that period because of the danger this brings. Father Jack fails to take well to the news that Father Stone is there as well. Paul at one point even follows Ted into the bathroom, who is having a bath at the time, in order to defecate.
Whilst in their beds that afternoon or evening, having retired for the night extremely early to avoid further contact with Father Stone, Ted and Dougal begin looking over Father Stone's previous visits, including one where they tried to avoid him by saying that they were in Rome, but he turned up regardless, forcing the pair of priests to spend five days in the attic with the rats, with no food or water. Ted says Paul will definitely be gone by Ted's birthday party, three weeks away, but Father Stone does stay for the party, sucking all of the life out of it. Ted becomes so desperate that he prays to God to get rid of Father Stone, any way that he can. Immediately after there is a bolt of lightning and thunder. The following day, in a thunderstorm, Ted and Dougal go to the Crazy Golf Course, maintaining that even that is better than being with Father Stone. However, he turns up. They encourage him to have a go. As he gets ready to swing, he holds the golf lub up high, and is struck by lightning.
At the local hospital, Ted and Dougal wait for news on Father Stone's condition. Meanwhile, Father Jack is rushed in for "today's emergency", having drunk something unsanitary, possibly Babycham and Harpic. The constantly-fighting married couple John and Mary arrive, Mary on a pair of crutches, John with a blood-soaked bandage around most of his head. They claim their injuries are simple accidents, barely worth coming to the hospital for. Ted and Dougal then go in to see Father Stone: he is wearing red pyjamas, standing up, still holding the golf club, but he is not responding to any stimulus and is in shock.
Father Stone's parents and maternal grandmother arrive, with his father very apologetic for his son's behaviour, scolding him for upsetting his mother like this, and saying it would have been better if he had been killed. Paul's grandmother says quietly to Ted that she knows what he is up to. His mother then tells Ted what a hero he is to Father Stone; to Ted's surprise, when he returns from visiting Craggy Island, Paul is constantly talking and telling parents about his stay. He even counts the days until his next holiday on a calendar with Ted's picture on it, and Father Stone drew a picture of himself and Ted.
This makes Ted feel very guilty about having prayed for Father Stone to leave, and scared that the grandmother seems to know what he did. Ted begins praying at Father Stone's bedside, saying that Paul can stay for as long as he wants, that he will look after him "until the end of his days". Dougal tries to intervene but Ted continues regardless. After a brief interval, Father Stone regains consciousness, and is his old self again, giving one-word answers. Finally, we see that Father Stone, as promised, has been allowed to stay on Craggy Island. A faint smile breaks across his face.
[edit] Trivia
- The episode's title is a play on the name of the film "Entertaining Mr Sloane".
- The picture Paul painted of himself and Ted can be seen on the wall, in the living room, in other episodes.
