Edward the Conqueror

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"Edward the Conqueror" is a short story written by Roald Dahl and first published in 1953.

[edit] Plot summary

The story is about an old man (Edward) and his wife (Louisa). A long haired silver cat is nearly burnt in the bonfire that Edward set up for the autumn leaves, but his wife rescues it. After the couple unsuccessfully attempts to send the cat back to its home, Edward decides that if the cat does not leave by the coming afternoon, he will ask the police to make sure it is returned home.

While Louisa is admiring the cat’s color, she notices that it has warts on his face. After she is done admiring the cat, Louisa begins to play one of her daily concerts (a solitary pleasure that also seems to be one of her greatest passions). She chooses some songs from Vivaldi, Schumann, Liszt and Brahms. Immediately, the cat reacts strongly, and even appears to be “appreciating the work.” The cat seems to be especially enthralled when Louisa plays Liszt's Petrarch Sonnets and Der Weihnachtsbaum, but less impressed with Schumann’s Kinderscenen.

Louisa becomes convinced that the cat is the reincarnation of Liszt, and informs her husband. Edward isn't convinced, even when his wife shows him Liszt's reaction to the piano music. Edward believes the cat’s reactions to simply be a trick it was trained to perform, and refuses to take part in his wife’s excitement (It is implied that he is not as fond of music as Louisa). Louisa decides to go to the library to find out more about both Liszt and reincarnation.

When she gets back from the library she calls for Liszt and examines him. She notices that the cat’s warts are positioned on its face in the exact same positions as the warts on Liszt’s face were. She even notices that the cat seems to dislike the same Chopin as Liszt did. By this time, Edward has become noticeably antagonistic to his wife’s belief (perhaps spurred on by jealousy). Despite his attitude, even he cannot deny the compounding evidence in Louisa’s favor.

Louisa decides to cook a fancy dinner for the cat, and refuses to let her husband sway her. When she returns from the kitchen, she sees Edward coming in from the garden with black smoke, wet trouser cuffs, and a long scratch from his wrist to his knuckle - the implication being that he has thrown the cat on the fire. Louisa is horrified and falls into hysterics as Edward tries to calm her down.

Stories in Roald Dahl's Kiss Kiss
"The Landlady" | "William and Mary" | "The Way Up to Heaven" | "Parson's Pleasure" | "Mrs. Bixby and the Colonel's Coat" | "Royal Jelly" | "Georgy Porgy" | "Genesis and Catastrophe" | "Edward the Conqueror" | "Pig" | "The Champion of the World"