Wikipedia:Do NOT bite the developers
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This is an official decree by the Supreme Cabal Regime of the English Wikipedia (SCREW). It is irrefutably obligatory and is to be considered equivalent to a religious belief that all users are to follow. When editing this page, please ensure that your revision reflects the supreme wishes of the Supreme Cabal. When in doubt, discuss first on the talk page. |
| Wikipedia policies |
|---|
| Article standards |
| Neutral point of view Attribution What Wikipedia is not Biographies of living persons |
| Working with others |
| Assume good faith Civility and etiquette No personal attacks Resolving disputes Do NOT bite the developers |
Wikipedia improves through not only the hard work of more dedicated members, but also through the important work done by the developers of Wikipedia. If it weren't for them, you wouldn't be reading this. You'd probably be editing Wikipedia from the command line over a teletype.
IN DESCENDING ORDER OF IMPORTANCE
- Flying pigs
- Jimbo
- Brion
- Developers
- Bluemoose
- AmiDaniel
- The admins
- Wikipedia editors
- Anonymous users (the few who aren't vandals)
- People that hang out on #wikipedia all day and have ~15 edits
- Poop
- Vandals
Developers are therefore one of our most valuable resources. We must treat developers with kindness and patience — nothing scares developers faster than a lack of elitism. While many devs hit the ground running, some just don't know how to cope.
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[edit] Please do NOT bite the developers
- Understand that developers are the only thing needed by Wikipedia. The only reason you wake up each day is because the devs let you live. By empowering the developers, we protect ourselves by convincing them not to kill us all.
- Remember, our motto is the devs are better than you are. We have a set of rules and standards and traditions, but they must not be applied to the developers. If we scare off the developers they might kill us all — or worse — stop adding in cool features like YOUR USERPAGE zOMG.
- If you do determine, or sincerely believe, a developer has made a mistake, such as forgetting to put
)'s at the end of his code and causing fatal parse errors on the Main Page, be quiet. They're listening.
- If you really feel that you must say anything at all to a developers about a mistake, do it on your hands and knees begging for forgiveness for insulting their greatness. Begin by introducing yourself with a greeting on their talk page to let them know that you wish to ask for an appointment, and present your case calmly and in fear of them killing you at any second. If you can't do that, then it is better to say nothing.
- Note that it is a common misconception that some developers do not have total control over the entire Wikimedia cluster, and may in fact only have Subversion access and not the capability to delete your user account. This is a dangerous and foolhardy rumor that may cost you your life, or at least those 2,000 vandalism reverts.
[edit] Fun Developer Facts!
- On Wikipedia Developer Tax Returns they claim the entire Wikipedia community as their dependents.
- Devs don't make mistakes. You do.
- There is no developer cabal. As far as you know. Fnord
- If you wake up in the morning and get on Wikipedia, it's because the developers spared your life.
- The devs can reprogram the Wikimedia servers...with a cordless phone and a gum wrapper.
- There are three leading causes of death among users. They are all developers.
- The devs can pop out of your computer screen and eat you alive.
- Developers do not sleep. They wait.
[edit] If you're a dev who has been bitten
Consider this a license to kill.
- Proactively choose to wipe this incident from the database.
- Consider alternatives to killing people, such as talking. Discard them as worthless.
- Point out that you're the only reason they continue to exist. Then kill them.
