User:Dgrossman06
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Contents |
[edit] Please do not edit this page
If you edit it I get mad.
[edit] Prologue
Daniel Henrizzle Grossman was born in 1992, and died in 1992 the same day. His parents have been left unnamed because they will ground him if he mentions their names. At age 0, Daniel designed a sophisticated time machine using toothpicks and pubic hair. After he completed it, he stepped inside, resulting in his humorous death, caused by a charging rhino. Daniel was such freaking moron. His death made absolutely no change in anything, and, in fact, never even happened. Daniel is alive and well, though he has no life because he wasted his time typing this article, which would likely be rejected. If this article was approved, Daniel probably crapped himself 20 times over out of laughter.
Over all, he is just a normal person with buttloads of issues. Daniel makes up about 0.00000000000000000000000000000001 % of the world's population, and that was just a random percentage. Daniel doesn't really matter and isn't even old enough to vote. He has little or none effect on earth, revolutionized nothing, makes up for in stupidity what he lacks in intellingence, and has few or no talents, which is why he would be the perfect candidate for president.
[edit] == Daniel's Hobbies ==
Daniel enjoys walking in the park,
Reading books, painting, playing world of warcraft (of course),
And shaving his pet hamster.
At one point in Daniel's life, his hamster Shnookums died, causing Daniel a severe emotional struggle, which is what brings us to the next topic.
[edit] == Emo-Dan ==
This is a picture of Emo-Dan
When Daniel was 9 years old, Shnookums, died. Shnookums was a male Campbell's Dwarf Hamster, a common species. A picture of hamster sex would have been provided if it wasn't considered explicit. Shnookums died while he was being given its hourly shave. Cause of death: What the hell do you think. It died of Hamster-itis, a life-threating disease capable of infecting several different species of hamster.
For the next 4 years, Daniel would shave his legs daily to commemorate the shaving of his pet.
After those 4 years, Daniel realized that Hamster-itus doesn't even exist. He began walking back to Shnookum's cage, which had been left in his attic feeling relieved. His excitement grew and he finally felt that he could come out of his cave of emotion. When he reached Shnookum's cage, Shnookums was dead. Shnookums had probably been dead for 3 or 4 years because he wasn't fed at all.
Heartbroken, Daniel walked back into his cave of emotion.
[edit] Leaving the cave
Daniel was 15 years old when he decided that his hamster sucked anyways. Shnookums was a total douchebag and constantly bit Daniel's finger at the moment he went in to pet him. Regretting his emo-ality, he left his cave of emotion and made his hair normal. He now looked like this: 
Damn. Hes good-lookin'.
[edit] Conclusion
Daniel lead a very succesful life until he was 19 years old when he died of Hamster-itus.
