Dear Dumb Diary
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Dear Dumb Diary by Jim Benton is a series about a middle school girl named Jamie Kelly and her adventures. She has a burning hatred for a girl named Angeline, a popular, smart and drop-dead beautiful "blondwad". Isabella is Jamie's best friend (who happens to be obsessed with popularity).
She and Angeline both have a crush on Hudson Rivers which causes some trouble. The books about her are as follows:
- Dear Dumb Diary, Let's Pretend this Never Happened (2004) ISBN 0-439-62904-7
- Dear Dumb Diary, My Pants are Haunted!
- Dear Dumb Diary, Am I The Princess Or The Frog?
- Dear Dumb Diary, Never do Anything, Ever
- Dear Dumb Diary, Can Adults become Human?
- Dear Dumb Diary, The Problem With Here Is That It's Where I'm From (soon to be coming)
Contents |
[edit] Main Characters
[edit] Jamie Kelly
Jamie is a middle school girl who has a huge crush on Hudson Rivers, the 8th cutest guy in her grade. Her best friend is Isabella Vinchella, a tough, violent girl. At the start of all her diaries, Jamie writes something along the lines of " Are you sure you're supposed to be reading my dumb diary? Maybe I told you you could, so that;s okay. But if I didn't you'd better stop now." It goes on about many other things, and before that, there are pictures explaining why you should not read her diary. Her favourite colour is Kelly green. Jamie believes in the future she will be a "Hot Mom", and she'll have 9 girls, 8 boys. Her husband will be a rich and famous, but he has to be Isabella's husband's twin brother. They both plan to have 17 kids. Jamie also loves to draw and doodle, one of her career choices is artist, that is if she does not decide to be a scientist that makes a lot of money dancing on TV. Jamie is an only child. She has a bratty cousin, Eddie, who looks like a troll, is the dirtiest and always seems to get sticky again after just being washed. Jamie got in trouble for writing "wash me" on his cheek with her finger.
[edit] Isabella Vinchella
Isabella is Jamie's violent best friend. She has many mean older brothers, which is the main reason she's so violent. Isabella has a chocolate dependency problem. She is very selfish, and hates her glasses. Isabella is excellent at lying, but can also do incredibly stupid things, for example: the time she colored her glasses with a marker, to make everyone think she had blue eyes. Isabella's signature lip balm is chocomint, wich changes to meat loaf when stolen by blondwad. Isabella has always been violent, even all the way back in grade 2. She beat up a kid because he giggled at her name (His name was Lewis Clarke.) It took 3 teachers and half the class to pull her off the boy. Isabella will probably be "A Scientist of Popularity." Isabella is also conceited, and is sometimes the cause of she and Jamie's fights. Isabella is also a RE-TELLER (in Can Adults Become Human), she kept telling on Jamie for gluing a picture to her head.
[edit] Stinker
Jamie's vengeful beagle dog, Stinker, is very dreadful. He is brown and is old and out of shape. Angeline once gave him a makeover and Stinker looked beautiful. Stinker loves to eat Jamie's Mom's appetizers. Jamie tried to make Stinker run away, but all attempts failed hopelessly, she got him back in the end. Stinker was also framed for stealing Ageline's permanent record (which Jamie stole) and for revenge he eats her mythology homework.
[edit] Angeline (AKA Miss Blondy Blondwad)
Angeline is-as Jamie would say-The 2nd prettiest girl in the state. She has flowing, long blonde hair that anyone would kill to have (especially Jamie, who has groundhog hair). She came up with a shampooing idea called Zone Shampooing, which is when somebody shampoos each zone of their head with a different smelling shampoo. Angeline is the only person who knows how to properly Zone Shampoo. Angeline's nature is to be nice, it is almost impossible to be mean. She also has a crush on Hudson Rivers. Angeline's Mom has horrible hair, which is one of the reasons Angeline has such beautiful hair. Her Mom always did her hair in kindergarten, but when she got older, she had to rely on fashion and hair magazines. Angeline was Jamie's best friend in kindergarten, but her name was "Annie" back then, since she couldn't pronounce "Angeline." On the popularity scale (which Isabella created), Angeline has the 2nd highest spot. The person who is higher than her is a rock star who is not old.
[edit] Hudson Rivers
Hudson Rivers is the 8th Cutest Guy at Mackerel Middle School (Chip, a guy cute enought to be in a shaving cream commercial is first, but 2nd-7th is unknown.) He has an 0n-and-off crush on Jamie, but that was because he saw her do funny things, like when she tried to show off her Zone Shampooing, it looked like she was having a seizure. He likes sometimes Angeline too, especially when she does charitable things. His hair colour is dark brown, and his eye colour is "some colour that melts hearts." Jamie doesn't have a lot of information on Hudson, but she wants to find out more. Hudson's name is a joke on the Hudson River.
[edit] Jamie's Mom
Jamie;s mom is known because of her terrible cooking, although she is very good at making appetizers. She constantly makes horrible meals that Jamie and Mr. Kelly cringe at, although they barely ever say anyhting, so they do not hurt her feelings.
[edit] Minor Characters
[edit] Mr. Evans
An English Teacher that has a large, pulsating vein in his head.
[edit] Mean Office Ladies
Mean office ladies who enjoy being mean to kids, mostly Jamie, Probably because of their butterscotch candy.
[edit] Bruntford
A fat, ugly woman who is the school's lunch monitor. She is "A water buffalo someone trained to make sure everything flows as smoothly as gravy through a grandma."She has eyes in the back of her head. She has a house but Jamie thought she had always lived under a bridge asking travelers riddles before she let them pass. She is Jamies' aunt's new best friend.
[edit] Mr. Vandoy
A social studies teacher that almost never smiles. Jamie and Isabella hate him. He smiled, well laughed actually, in Can Adults Become Human, when Stinker released the fart he had been holding in for weeks.
[edit] Assistant Principal Devon
Angeline's uncle and the AP of Mackerel Middle School. He's engaged to Jamie's Aunt Carol and can sometimes do things that seem surprisingly normal, or even human. Such as the time when he made Jamie pick up a paper and throw it in the trash in a way that was lying but telling the truth at the same time. He told Jamie to tell the re-teller, Isabella, that he made her clean the office.
[edit] Aunt Carol
Aunt Carol is Jamie's aunt. Jamie considers aunt Carol to be somewhat cool, since she is still somewhat young and was not married until she got engaged to Assistant Principal Devon (in Can Adults Become Human). Aunt Carol is friends with Bruntford.
[edit] Ms. Anderson
Mrs. Anderson is described to be pretty enough to be a model. She is Jamie's art teacher. Mrs. Anderson tried to steal Assistant Principal Devon from Aunt Carol.
[edit] Mrs. Palmer
Mrs. Palmer is a substitue teacher who has a habit of switching partners in her classes, due to the fact that she does not care what you are doing that you are not supposed to be doing, as long as you are doing something wrong. She replaced Mr. Tweeds, who fell and broke his hip.
[edit] Sally Winthorpe
Sally is considered extremely smart, but small. She had once stolen Isabella's perfume collection to get Hudson Rivers to like her, although Isabella found out about it.
[edit] Margaret Parker
Margaret is considered a total reject because she chews on pencils too much. Jamie and Isabella gave ehr a makeover, although she eventually changed back from her makeover, while keeping the popularity status she got from the makeover.
[edit] Mike Pinsetti
Mike Pinsetti is known for nicknaming people. He had a crush on Jamie and sent her love notes, although Jamie did not share the same feelings.
[edit] Mr. Prince
A substitute teacher, who Jamie had a crush on, and thought he liked her, although he didn't.
