Category talk:Cult of the Dead Cow members
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Cult of the Dead Cow
How I outfoxed myself and landed in the jaws of the Cult of the Dead Cow
I never thought this would happen to me. Being too old, that is. And I'm not dead yet. I think. I could be dead. No, I am certain I am not yet dead. BUT, I am a proud member of the Cult.
My life has not been a charmed one, but I've experienced 'aha' moments and I've overcome many adversities only to find myself cast aside like an old worn out shoe. A shoe with a broken heel. A dead shoe.
Here is where it all began. Graduated from a top southern university, my burning desidre was in business, working directly with people-issues. Upon graduation I landed a job as Human Resources Generalist for a major hotel. From there I climbed the HR ladder, taking jobs with other employers when there was no advancement opportunity where I was.
After 21 years climbing to the Regional Management and VP level, I felt like there had to be more challenging work out there than the ho-hum life of your typical HR Department. You know the kind I mean. They take up space, suck up revenues and give back what? Puppets for Execs they are and not very good ones at that.
My choices were (a) walk to the top floor of the building and jump because catatonia was setting in or (b)take on Start-Up companies, Re-Starts and "troubled" companies-- you know what I'm talking about--I'm not the only one who has done time in these prisons-without-hope.
It doesn't pay to have integrity or the desire to bring the company forward into the "good faith" zone. Don't even think about trying to set goals, financial or otherwise, to set us on the path to success. And PLEASE don't think about being honest to employees or treating them like they are in any way important to the company's success. I've had a belly-full of these self-absorbed pompus jerks who think they have all the answers and keep digging a deeper and deeper hole for themselves while their employees work themselves to death for the good of the company.
Oh, the stories I could tell you, even if you're bald, they would curl your hair!
So, it is now 2006 and I am heading HR for a small company that is frought with politics, lies, bad-faith and jealousies. Trying to meet the needs of the w-o-r-k-e-r-s (our most important asset), I do everything in my power to help this floundering company succeed while the top-dog shuffles around the corporate office bad-mouthing employees, calling them Gomers and Goobers and worse, always ready to flex his muscle and get rid of the ones who don't float his boat on any given day.
If you anticipated that I was next to be fired, you are right. Why? Hmmmm... "we've hired someone else" (younger, prettier, maybe easier to kick around?) and we've "lost confidence in you". Right. Give the man some sound advise, and you're out the door.
Me fired? Boy, those are words I never expected to hear. Especially since my last 4 bosses couldn't say enough great things about my knowledge, ability to keep all the plates spinning atop quarter inch sticks and my credibility and trust with everyone else. People trust me. I believe they can feel the "vibe" of truth and when someone genuinely cares about them, don't you? The death noll is sounding.
My world didn't cave in when I was fired. Quite frankly, I was ecstatic about leaving that hell-hole. What I wasn't prepared for was the icy reception I received from the job market during the next 6 months.
It seems I've become OVERQUALIFIED. Hmmmm...let's see, I am willing to do any job, be a team member instead of a leader, my salary requirements are much more reasonable than Mr. or Ms. 30-something, and so on. I believe I smell death coming like a freight train bearing down on me.
I look in the mirror and think I see my grandmother's profile looking back. OK, it's time to shower, fix the hair, apply make-up and replace my PJs with a snappy business suit. No matter. My resume is in the round file and I know it.
Soooo..... as I was looking for a way to put myself out of my misery (the ex took all the guns with him), I happened upon a different kind of idea.
This one places top value on families, serving others, taking time for your spiritual life (whatever it may be) and most of all working with high integrity. Wait. I believe I am in heaven. Now how did that happen? I don't remember dying.
This is the part where I describe this dream job, but I will restrain myself for the sake of getting this article published. You lucky devils. You're going to miss the punchline!
Anyhow,this heaven-sent thing lets me 'work' right in my comfy home office. No more 90 minute commutes. No more politics. No more #1*`#/^ bosses. Just an easy 25-30 hours per week--that I can do anywhere I have internet access and a phone.
There must be a catch, this is too good to be true. What about the pay? Even better! I am going to make more than my blankety blank CEO. HA! Sweet revenge!
I took the job immediately. That was 6 weeks ago and I have NEVER FELT BETTER about my decision. I have a quality of life that includes everything I was shoving to the side when I worked 70 hour weeks. I have time to spend with my family, something I've always felt guilty about (taking more time working/putting work first, before my family...) but now I can do turn that around. I dont feel stress because I am positively focused and I have a wonderful TEAM that supports me and excellent systems that take the repetitive work out of the job. Sweet again!
I plan to make MORE than CEO level pay. The beautiful thing is that I CAN make more (because I am "driven" and set high goals I will meet). My long term goal is to be able to retire in 4 years VERY comfortably.
YES..... Let's have a toast to OUTFOXING the C-guys and making the choice to live the good life (happiness). Oh, wait. My chest. Sharp pain. I need air. Stop this pain. Get me to the hospital. No one is home but me. Nobody can hear me gasping for help. Tick tock. Now where is my Cult of the Dead Cow when I need them?
