Courtship
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Young men courting a youth in a garden. From the Haft Awrang of Jami, in the chapter "A Father Advises His Son About Love". Freer and Sackler Galleries, Smithsonian Institution, Washington, DC.
While a date is going out to do something together (like having dinner and then visiting the theater, or having a picnic at a park or on the beach), courting may continue to take place between dates, such as meeting online (also known as virtual dating), chatting on-line, sending text messages or picture messages, conversing over the phone, writing each other letters, and sending each other flowers, poems, songs and gifts, for instance.
"Bilateral eureka" is a term that might define what many people believe they are looking for on their date(s).[1]
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[edit] Modern dating
During the early- and mid-20th century (1920s to 1960s), dating was considered to be a social pastime in which most single young people would participate. After the advent of women's movement, the men's movement, the sexual revolution, and other movements that have shaped modern Western culture, this "old-fashioned" form of dating waned in popularity, giving way to what became known as "hanging out" and "hooking up". Formal dating, where one person (usually the male) contacts another person (usually the female) to arrange a date gave way to more casual encounters, including casual sexual encounters.
Many people are now expressing a lack of satisfaction with this way of doing things. The popularity of online dating services is seen by some to indicate a growing desire among singles to meet for "traditional" one-on-one dates, and to date socially, without necessarily having the expectation of either a sexual relationship or a long-term romantic relationship.
In recent years, a number of college newspapers have featured editorials where students decry the lack of "dating" on their campuses. This may be a result of a highly-publicized 2001 study and campaign sponsored by the conservative American women's group Independent Women's Forum, which promotes "traditional" dating.[2]
[edit] Courtship traditions
While the date is fairly casual in most Westernized cultures, in many traditional societies, courtship is a highly structured activity, with very specific formal rules.
In some societies, the parents or community propose potential partners, and then allow limited dating to determine whether the parties are suited. During the Middle Ages in Europe, it was traditional for royal families to receive a ship from a princess's fiance upon her betrothal. The ship would be displayed in the courtyard for one month prior to the marriage ceremony, and it is from these courtships that we derive the word courtship.[citation needed]
In Japan, there is a type of courtship called Omiai. Parents will hire a matchmaker to provide pictures and résumés of potential mates, and if the couple agrees, there will be a formal meeting with the matchmaker and often parents in attendance. The matchmaker and parents will often exert pressure on the couple to decide whether they want to marry or not after only a few dates.
In some cultures, courtship is eliminated altogether by the practice of arranged marriages, where partners are chosen for young people, typically by their parents. Very conservative cultures may view "dating" as nothing more than a synonym for "having premarital sex," which they prohibit, particularly for women. Forbidding experimental and serial courtship and sanctioning only arranged matches is partly a means of guarding the chastity of young people and partly a matter of furthering family interests, which in such cultures may be considered more important than individual romantic preferences.
The scenario of arranged marriage has changed over the decades. The future couple get to meet and date each other before, one decides on whether to continue the relationship further or not.
[edit] Commercial dating services
Though most people meet their dates at social organizations, in their daily life, or are introduced through friends or relatives, commercial dating agencies emerged strongly, but discreetly, in the Western world after World War II, mostly catering for the 25–44 age group. Newspaper and magazine personal ads also became common.
In the last five years, mate-finding and courtship have seen changes due to online dating services services. Telecommunications and computer technologies have developed rapidly since around 1995, allowing daters the use of home telephones with answering machines, mobile phones, and web-based systems to find prospective partners. "Pre-dates" can take place by telephone or online via instant messaging, e-mail, or even video communication. A disadvantage is that, with no initial personal interview by a traditional dating agency head, Internet daters are free to exaggerate or lie about their characteristics.
While the growing popularity of the Internet took some time, now one in five singles is said to look for love on the Web, which has led to a dramatic shift in dating patterns. Research in the United Kingdom suggests that as of 2004 there were around 150 agencies there, and the market was growing at around 20 percent a year due to, first, the very low entry barriers to setting up a dating site, and secondly, the rising number of single people. However, even academic researchers find it impossible to find precise figures about crucial statistics, such as the ratio of active daters to the large number of inactive members whom the agency will often wrongly claim as potential partners, and the overall ratio of men to women in an agency's membership. Academic research on traditional pre-Internet agencies suggests that most agencies have far more men than women in their membership.[citation needed]
Traditionally, in many societies (including Western societies), men were expected to fill the role of the pursuer. However, the anonymity of the Internet (as well as other factors) has allowed women to take on that role online. A recent study indicated that "women pay to contact men as often as the reverse, which is quite different from behavior in telephone-based dating system[s]" (from Wired magazine).
The trend of singles making a Web connection continues to increase, as the percentage of North American singles who have tried Internet dating has grown from two percent in 1999 to over ten percent today (from Canadian Business, February 2002). More than half of online consumers (53%) know someone who has started a friendship or relationship online, and three-quarters of 18-to-24-year-old online consumers (74%) say they do. There is also some academic evidence that the 18–25 age group has significantly taken up online dating. This growing trend is reflected in the surging popularity of online communities such as Faceparty, Friendster, Facebook, MySpace, and Nexopia sites which are not directly geared toward dating, but many users nonetheless use to find potential dates or research a new acquaintance to check for availability and compatibility.
Mobile dating websites, too, are gaining popularity.
[edit] Courtship in the animal kingdom
Many non-human animal species have mate-selection rituals also referred to as courtship. Animal courtship may involve complicated dances or touching; vocalizations; or displays of beauty or fighting prowess. Most animal courtship occurs out of sight of humans, so it is often the least documented of animal behaviors. One animal whose courtship rituals are well studied is the bowerbird, whose male builds a "bower" of collected objects.
[edit] See also
[edit] References
- ^ Ph.D. dissertation of Robert E. Berend entitled "Perceptions of Chemistry, First Date Selection Criteria and Factors in First Intercourse from the San Francisco Area", September 22, 2003
- ^ Hooking Up, Hanging Out, and Hoping for Mr. Right: College Women on Dating and Mating Today (Retrieved 18:35, 12 January 2007)
