Wikipedia:Complete bollocks

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This is an essay. It is not a policy or guideline, it simply reflects some opinions of its authors. Please update the page as needed, or discuss it on the talk page.

Shortcut: WP:BOLLOCKS WP:BALLS WP:CB

This page is NOT official policy whatsoever. It is a NEW definition that all users should know about.

WP:CB redirects here. For the assertion that "Wikipedia is not a crystal ball", see WP:NOT#Wikipedia_is_not_a_crystal_ball

Proud Tanuki carries flask of sake and oversized bollocks

The policies of Wikipedia state that articles must be verifiable and stated from a neutral point of view. This strongly implies that they must also be true. Sometimes articles arrive at articles for deletion which have only the most tenuous connection to reality: they are, to use a British term, complete bollocks.

Giveaway signs of complete bollocks are phrases such as emerging theory and widely disputed.

Articles puffing non-notable websites are often complete bollocks, in that they make wholly spurious claims to notability (e.g. claiming to have originated some new process, neologism or phenomenon which is either not verifiably existent or, conversely, blindingly obvious). These articles very often start with the name of the site, properly capitalised, as a weblink. Whereas Geogre's Law posits incorrect capitalisation as a hallmark of vanity in biographies, abundant capitalisation and/or trademark signs (sometimes weblinked at every single instance) is often a hallmark of complete bollocks in articles about websites.

A confirmatory sign of complete bollocks is a set of circular articles, or a self-contained nest of articles, such as three articles that only reference each other and are themselves composed of nonsense, particularly if the set is started by one author or a set of authors (or IP addresses) who all contribute to the same set of articles. In wiki parlance this is a walled garden.

Probably the most prolific source of complete bollocks is the bored student fraternity. As UncleG put it, Wikipedia is not for things made up in school one day. Not all of this, however, is complete bollocks: some of it will have to be subjected to a deletion process before it is finally removed. There is no shortage of bad ideas for articles, and some of them elevate themselves to the giddy heights of really stupid ideas for articles. It's this latter category which is likely to be complete bollocks.

[edit] The art thereof

Consider these deathless lines by Charles Battell Loomis:

A Classic Ode

Oh, limpid stream of Tyrus, now I hear
The pulsing wings of Armageddon's host,
Clear as a colcothar and yet more clear--
(Twin orbs, like those of which the Parsees boast;)

Down in thy pebbled deeps in early spring
The dimpled naiads sport, as in the time
When Ocidelus with untiring wing
Drave teams of prancing tigers, 'mid the chime

Of all the bells of Phicol. Scarcely one
Peristome veils its beauties now, but then--
Like nascent diamonds, sparkling in the sun,
Or sainfoin, circinate, or moss in marshy fen.

Loud as the blasts of Tubal, loud and strong,
Sweet as the songs of Sappho, aye more sweet;
Long as the spear of Arnon, twice as long,
What time he hurled it at King Pharaoh's feet.

The archaizing language and the mix of classical and Biblical allusions all lend authority to this poem. A reader may read it, and re-read it: there must be some meaning there, it seems so serious in tone and intention. Further study will bring it to light. Good luck!

After you have figured out the poem, consider the following:

Problems in a business process may arise in three places:

at its proposal and inception, which in Neuman's terminology is labelled the alpha phase;^[1]
during the period of its operational implementation, the theta phase; and
during its finalization, or the closing stages of the process: the omega phase.

Problems in a business process may moreover be classified into two separate categories:

the monogenetic problem, in which a single cause intervenes in the process, and
the polygenetic problem, in which several different causes intervene, either simultaneously, concurrently, or serially.^[2]

The reader is challenged by this section to identify what he has learned from the text that was not already known, or could not have been thought up by a mind gifted with sufficient leisure and vocabulary. Pay careful heed to the bolded terms, with their Greek letters and classical compounds. The presence of Greek letters is a sure indication of mathematical rigor, and classical compounds indicate that science is at play here. If there is an exam with this course, be assured that the student will be expected to repeat these terms and their given definitions. The tone assures the reader that a great deal of research, or at least logic, backs up the assertion that the causes of a polygenetic problem will intervene either simultaneously, concurrently, or serially.