Competition Time
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| “Competition Time” | |
|---|---|
| Father Ted episode | |
 Mrs Doyle tells Henry to "go on" |
|
| Episode no. | Season 1 Episode 4 |
| Guest stars | Niall Buggy (Henry Sellers) |
| Written by | Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews |
| Original airdate | 12 May 1995 |
| Episode chronology | |
| ← Previous | Next → |
| "The Passion of St Tibulus" | "And God Created Woman" |
| List of Father Ted episodes | |
"Competition Time" is the 4th episode of Channel 4 sitcom Father Ted.
[edit] Synopsis
With the annual "All Priests Stars in Their Eyes Lookalike Competition" nearing, Ted shows everyone his Elvis costume, only to find Dougal and Jack wearing exactly the same outfit as him. Ted had been talking about dressing as Elvis for weeks, and Dougal concedes that that's "probably" where he got the idea; since reasoning with him is nigh on impossible, Ted accepts he will have to go as Mother Theresa again. Father Dick Byrne (from Rugged Island parochial house) calls Ted and says he has no chance of winning. But, since the judge of the competition, TV presenter Henry Sellers, is staying on Craggy Island, Ted believes that their chances of winning will improve if they are nice to him.
When Henry Sellers arrives, Ted greets him wamly but Dougal is unable to think of anything to say. At Ted's prompting, he asks him his age, which is apparently 37. Before Mr Sellers' arrival, Jack had drunk a bottle of Toilet Duck, causing hallucinations, and he runs away in fear when Mr Sellers speaks to him. Mr Sellers is accompanied there by Father Dunne, a priest who laughs at the slightest of things (i.e. Jack losing his slippers), and can't maintain a proper conversation. Mr Sellers remarks angrily that the car journey was four hours long. Dougal, now trying to talk with Mr Sellers, makes comments about his hair, realising (loudly) that "it's a wig!".
Ted offers to get Henry anything he wants. Henry's first request was the English papers, which Ted could not get. The second is Dick Byrne's telephone number; Ted answers that Dick and his co-inhabitants are lepers and that Rugged Island is a leper colony. Ted and Mrs Dougal then cajole Henry into taking a drink of sherry before bed. After one drink, he becomes extremely drunken, angry at everyone, and destroys the living room. Father Dunne discloses that Henry is a raging alcoholic, who had been "on the wagon" for a year, and that his drinking was the reason the BBC sacked him. Henry then jumps out of the window and runs off into the wilderness.
The next day, Ted, Dougal and a policeman attempt to track Henry down. He is still in an alcoholic state in the woods, but now with fewer clothes. Ted makes a noise with some pans to drive Henry out into the open so he be shot with a tranquilliser dart. After this is achieved, they see Jack running around, also drunk, but Ted decides to "let him go". After Henry has sobered up at the parochial house, Ted assures him that nothing untoward happened (Henry blacked-out and forgot everything). Dick Byrne calls Ted again, and suggests a bet of, at first £1, then £2, and finally £5, on the outcome of that night's competition. Father Jack then returns, very drunk; Dougal suggests sobering him up, but Ted says that he has an idea.
That night at the competition, Dick Byrne and his fellow priests (who performed as Diana Ross and two of the Supremes) are in the lead with nine out of ten. Then the Craggy Island priests entry, narrated by Ted, begins. Dougal represents the young Elvis, who 'one day in the 1950s created rock and roll'. Ted then appears as Elvis on his 1968 comeback special, with Jack representing the later part of his life by sitting, wearing garish clothes and confusedly holding a hamburger. This effort receive a ten out of ten from Henry, and they win the competition. Back at the parochial house Dick pass up, and then heads off back to Rugged Island. Mrs. Doyle then brings in a bottle of Champagne with four glasses. Henry takes a sip (believing it won't do any harm) and once again jumps out of the window in a drunken rage.
[edit] External link
