Chris the Crafty Cockney
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Chris the Crafty Cockney is a fictional character played by Paul Whitehouse in the hit BBC sketch show comedy The Fast Show which ran for four series between 1994 and 2000.
Chris is said to be based on a stereotype of East-End Londoners, in that he is prone to stealing anything from anyone for any reason, he is an incurable kleptomaniac of the highest order. He is always seen with his trademark green and white striped jumper and ponytail.
His catchphrase: I'm a little bit waayy, a little bit wooah, a little bit woosh - describes himself, for he is a 'geezer' and will 'nick' anything from anyone despite how well he knows them.
He even steals from his best mate Dan who runs a newsagent. There is only one real example of when Chris doesn't steal anything from anyone and that is when he breaks into a terrace house on Christmas Eve, and fools a young child that he is Father Christmas; he breaks fourth wall momentarily and explains that he cannot steal from a child.
On another occasion, Chris is dressed up as a police officer, and a family in a saloon car asks him directions, and so he 'nicks' them. Despite not stealing anything, it is probable that the uniform was pinched.
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