The Terrifying Outcome of Exploiting Coupons from the Chain Restaurant Known as Pizza Hut

A Documentary by Chiefsfan

• Have you ever ordered and eaten a plain, ordinary pepperoni pizza at the chain restaurant known as Pizza Hut?

A sausage and olive pizza. Isn't it sickening?

Well, if you contemplated long and hard, and if you have eaten a pizza, you are a malicious cold-blooded killer! The act is grotesque and I will not tolerate it! It vexes me beyond comprehension! Do you even know where pizza comes from? Huh? Well, I am going to delineate it to you, in excruciating detail, whether you like it or not! First, tiny, helpless little grain seeds are MASHED into the ground under mounds of dirt and filth! They don’t even get a choice! Then, after they have been fattened up over the course of many months, the farmers do an incomprehensible act known as harvesting! They actually drive their tractors of death into the field of gluttony and cut off the heads of the wheat! Can you believe that? IT IS EVIL! Then, they strip the HEADS of the once living seeds and GRIND THEM TO A PULP! The processors then mix the powder of wheat with the bowels of God’s wrath (water) This substance is then mixed with what the manufacturers call, quote “sugar, spice, and everything nice” unquote. CAN YOU BELIEVE THEM! THEY ARE INSANE! After that, they pound the pulp into dough, and flatten it into crust.

A terrified, unsuspecting tomato.

Then, they plant tomato seeds, and grow them up, unsuspecting, and when they aren’t paying attention, mash them into a bloody pulp! They slather the fruit of God’s wrath onto the crust of malevolence, and prepare the cheese of reprisal, made from the udders of the cows of dreadfulness. Oh, I almost forgot. To make the pepperoni, they shred the leftovers of slaughtered pigs and other unknown animals and mash them into a sausage, which they then slice and place on the pizza. The atrocity is then placed into the fiery inferno of eternal pain and suffering (the oven) and, after a seventeen minute baking time at 425 degrees, the chef, or evil manipulative one, pulls it out and reaps the slices of pizza, which are then sold with blood money and devoured and ingested by people like you. Yeah! That’s right! So next time think before you just go and shove that pizza down your throat!

• Thanks for reading, and remember, say "no" to pizza! Chiefsfan364 (talk) 22:07, 26 March 2007 (UTC)

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