Carol Beer
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| Little Britain Character Carol Beer |
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|---|---|
 'Computer says no.' |
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| First appearance | Series 2 Episode 1 |
| Information | |
| Gender | Female |
| Age | 37/38 |
| Year of birth | 1969 |
| Occupation | Bank Worker (Series 2) Travel agency worker for Sun-Searchers (Series 3) |
| Portrayed by | David Walliams |
| Created by | David Walliams / Matt Lucas |
Carol Beer is a character in the TV and radio series Little Britain, in which she worked firstly as a bank clerk and later as a travel agent. She is played by David Walliams.
Contents |
[edit] Personality
Carol's sketches revolve around her bored and unhelpful attitude to her customers. Whether in the bank or travel agency, she listlessly inputs customers' requests into her computer only to flatly reply with her catchphrase, "Computer says no..." This is usually followed by a single cough, directed at the customer, with no attempt to cover her mouth.
[edit] Appearance
Carol's appearance is frumpy: she is overweight, her hair appears unbrushed and unwashed, and her glasses are unfashionable. She is always seen wearing workplace attire: in season two she wore her bank's uniform, while in season three and Little Britain Abroad she wore the Sun-Seekers uniform.
[edit] Variations to "Computer says no..."
Occasionally Carol does vary her catchphrase slightly. In the second last episode of season two, she was invited to a work outing and asked "Computer says will Melanie be there?" After being told that Melanie will be going, Carol replies with her usual catchphrase.
In season three, she answers "Computer says no" to two consecutive questions. She then says "The computer would like to refer the honourable gentleman to the answer I just gave a moment ago", a reference to a stock answer given by the Prime Minister during "Question Time" in the House of Commons.
Carol has also varied her coughs. She once blew a cough to a customer, in the style of blowing a kiss. Other times, Carol's customers have coughed and she has told them it's disgusting, only to later cough at them herself. Carol also once coughed into an envelope she gave to a customer, and when a customer opened it the cough was heard coming out of it.
[edit] Relationships with customers
As a travel agent, Carol often offers unsuitable suggestions to her customers. When an elderly couple wished to book a cruise, Carol offered them a "cruise" from Dover to Calais and then tickets aboard a Russian tanker transporting nuclear waste to the Baltic Sea. Another women wanted to buy tickets to Cephalonia after seeing Captain Corelli's Mandolin, but Carol suggested other movie-related destinations, including a trip to where they filmed Midnight Express, a room in the Towering Inferno, a cruise aboard the ship on which they filmed The Poseidon Adventure, and a canoeing trip to the river in Deliverance.
Another example of Carol's bad attitude to her customers came when she was "recommending" traveller's insurance to a couple. She explained that a previous purchaser lost a flip-flop in the Caribbean and that Carol's travel company flew a replacement flip-flop to him first class - all he had to pay for was the flip-flop and the flight.
The tables were finally turned upon Carol in the last episode of season three, in which the computer finally said "yes", and then the customer coughed at her.
In Little Britain Abroad, Carol is a tour representative for British tourists in Spain. One couple in her tour group wished to book a cruise, but after being made to wait until precisely 9.00am (the time Carol started work), she informed them there was only one seat left and asked whether one would like to swim alongside the ship. In this same sketch, Carol also spoke to a Spanish tour representative who looked exactly like her and said "Computer says no" in Spanish. The couple later complained about Carol, saying she had been rude and unhelpful. After Carol burst into tears the couple agreed to withdraw the complaint, only to be called "dirty shitters" by Carol as she walked away.
[edit] Personal history
Carol was born in 1969 in Crawley[1]. The events of her life prior to her work at the bank are mostly unknown, though the Little Britain Live programme reveals she trained with the Royal Ballet School as a ballet dancer for many years, and had lead roles in performances of Giselle, Swan Lake and The Nutcracker at the Royal Opera House. Though she became their prima ballerina in 1995, she eventually left to form her own dance group, Carol Beer's Adventures in Movement, whose productions explored themes of identity, sexuality and crisps.
[edit] Trivia
Among viewers of Little Britain, Carol's catchphrase "Computer says no" became widely repeated between colleagues in workplaces across the United Kingdom, particularly those where such equipment is used to answer enquiries[citation needed].
[edit] References and notes
- ^ Little Britain Live programme
