User talk:Cantaire87

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Hello, Cantaire87, and welcome to Wikipedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. Here are some pages that you might find helpful:

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Hi, Cantaire87! I'm finally back. Yes, I am a transsexual woman and my understanding is that you are as well and that you have no friends who you feel you can talk to about it. I often feel the same way and I would love to have more friends to talk to about my experiences. I am still in the process of transition and I have a long way to go before I will be completely female physically and socially. I am 23 years old and still living with my parents, and they are doing everything they can to make my transition difficult. I know I need to get out of their house and I am going to as soon as it becomes practical. I would love to chat with you anytime though!

Andrea Parton 03:58, 13 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Comments on transsexualism

Well, transsexual people are a very diverse group of people. I personally know one non-op transwoman in my area and yet she is completely female socially. The last time I contacted her, she had a boyfriend who she hoped she would end up marrying and spending the rest of her life with. I do not think that one has to have had or desire to have SRS to be considered transsexual if they simply are living or desire to live as members of their gender of identity.

I would definitely like to read your poem. It sounds like it will be very interesting.

As for "biological gender roles," transsexual women are limited in their ability to take on these roles. Of course, transwomen can adopt children but they cannot bear children because they have no ovaries or uterus. It is, however, possible for transsexual women to breastfeed. By coincidence, I am lactating right now. Unfortunately, I don't have a baby to nurse, but perhaps someday I will. But I don't know yet whether or not I will ever want to raise children. Not every woman wants to be a mother but many do. I respect individual choices with regard to having children. For me, I have accepted that I will not have ovaries or a uterus and that I will not be able to bear children, at least not until technology is developed to make it possible for transwomen to do so. The bright side of it is that I will never have to worry about ovarian, uterine, or cervical cancers.

My experiences have been horrific. As I stated in my last reply, I am still living with my parents and they have done unspeakable things to try to keep me from transitioning. I can understand that they wish they had a son, but I am not their son and I think they are going to have to accept that. They have taken hormones away from me twice and they recently took away many decorations I had in my room, all of my women's clothes, etc. Simply unimaginable. They have also taken me to a psychologist who has handpicked various things that I have experienced in my life and tries to attribute my gender dysphoria to those experiences. I can say with no question that she is a very ignorant therapist when it comes to transgender issues. She keeps bringing up events from my past and is unable to rule out anything as the cause of my gender dysphoria. She seems to just assume that my innate gender identity is not female and that my intense gender dysphoria is attributable to other factors. But if I know anything with certainty, I know that I am a woman inside. I plan to undergo a complete transition and I would probably already be living full time as a woman if my parents were not so hell-bent on making my transition difficult. I am also on the autism spectrum which complicates things further. Even though I know that I am transsexual and that transition is right for me, I have made some huge mistakes in my transition that have done me much harm. I am crying just writing this and I will not say anything else about my experience other than that it has been horrible. I needed to prepare more for coming-out to my parents. As Andrea James says on her website, younger transitioners have two make-or-break points in their transition, one of which is coming out to parents. For me, with the way things have gone, my ability to fully transition when young may be broken. My parents may be glad that they have significantly hindered my progress in transition, but I am not. I know I would be much happier if my parents could just accept me as their transsexual daughter, and I think they would be much happier as well.

Well, I'm tired and don't know if you like reading long posts, so I will leave my message at that. But I don't mind reading long posts at all, so feel free to tell me as much as you want to.

Andrea Parton 04:37, 15 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Hello Hanna

I did not mind telling you about my transition at all. Although it hurts to even think about it, I think I am doing myself and others a favor by telling them about the struggles I have had with my parents. I love your poem. Your contemplation of whether to continue living with an abusive Victorian husband has many parallels with my contemplation on whether or not to continue living with my parents. One side is telling me that I am not ready to leave the home I have known my whole life, while my other side is telling me I need to get out of my parents house very soon and transition in an environment where they cannot stop me. I will call you Hanna, as I'm assuming that's what you prefer. You can call me Andrea or Andie. Best wishes!

Andrea Parton 01:23, 17 March 2007 (UTC)

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