Can't Buy Me Love (Frasier)

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“Can't Buy Me Love”
Frasier episode
Episode no. Season 1
Episode 14
Written by Chuck Ranberg
Anne-Flett Giordano
Directed by James Burrows
Production no. 40571-012
Original airdate January 20, 1994 (US)
Episode chronology
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"Guess Who's Coming to Breakfast?" "You Can't Tell a Crook by His Cover"
List of Frasier episodes (Season 1)

"Can't Buy Me Love" is the 14th episode from the first season of Frasier. Frasier takes part of a bachelor auction, where he is bought by a model, Kristina. A meal is arranged for them together at his apartment, but first he has to look after her daughter Renata.

Contents

[edit] Cast

[edit] Recurring cast

[edit] Guest cast

  • Claire Stansfield as Kristina
  • Ashley Bank as Renata
  • Brett Miller as T.J.
  • Shawna Casey as Stage Manager
  • Ken Levine as M.C. (voice)

[edit] Plot

Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.

A friend of Martin is running a bachelor auction, and tells Frasier that it would be good to have someone from the radio, meaning Bulldog - however Frasier assumes that he meant himself. As a result, both Bulldog and Frasier are put forward for it.

On the night, Frasier does well, and is 'bought' by Christina Harper, a model he finds attractive. Roz snaps up a nervous-looking football player called TJ Smith, but Bulldog does not fare so well. Martin asks Daphne to place a shill bid, but it turns out to be the only bid!

Bulldog's plan is to take his date to a Sonics basketball match in a limo, but unfortunately for him Daphne drinks too much champagne and makes a number of jokes about Bulldog's lack of height or intelligence. When they are about to leave, Daphne drunkenly yells at a drver who is penning them in, resulting in Bulldog being dragged out of the car in a 'road rage' moment (by a man we do not see, but Daphne notes that he is tall). As Bulldog is dragged away, Daphne calls him 'Pitbull'.

Frasier's date arrives late, explaining that she's been called to a modelling job, and has nobody to look after her daughter Renata. Frasier has no option but to take her on for an hour before their meal. Renata immediately grabs the phone and starts calling an assortment of friends, including Tiffany Schwartz and Tiffany Martinez. Frasier notes that he celebrates the ethnic mosaic that is America, but still insists that she starts to be civil and talk to him.

She starts telling him a number of complaints about her mother, and after mocking "those gomers on your show" who tell Frasier all their problems, and despite her fear that he "could be a total perv", she opens up to him. She explains that her mother is obsessed with weight and makes Renata weigh in every morning, that she has been telling people Renata is 9 for the last 3 years, and that she once abandoned her daughter's birthday party ("the first time I was 9") to get a tattoo on her shoulder. She explains that her dad Tony and his new wife Whitesnake are no better.

Angry, Frasier confronts Christina on her return, only to be told that it is all a lie. She rarely goes out, instead spending all her time and energies on her child. She explains that Tony and Whitesnake are their 2 dogs - her father and his new wife are in fact called John and Marianne. She takes her top off and reveals no tattoo. Finally, she notes that she only has one kidney - Renata has the other.

Not only does Frasier lose out on a promising date, he is forced to question his professional ability, and wonder if his own son Frederick will also become a monster. Even more worryingly, he starts copying Renata's yoofspeak vocabulary, including terms such as 'hurl' for being sick, and 'no way!'.

[edit] Trivia

[edit] Source