Blockhead Hans
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Blockhead Hans is a fairy tale from Andrew Lang's The Yellow Fairy Book. Lang gives no source for the tale.
[edit] Story
The two educated sons of an old squire want to marry the princess, who said that she would marry the man who chooses his words best. They studied hard to speak well to the princess. Their father gave them each a horse to ride to the King's hall. A third son (of a lesser mind) called Blockhead-Hans wants to win the princess too, but his father won't give him a horse, so he rides a goat. On the way to the King's hall, Blockhead-Hans picks up gifts to give to the princess: a dead crow, an old wooden shoe without the top, and mud. At the King's throne, three reporters and an editor stood by each window. They were writing down what words each suitor said, to publish it later. The fireplace was very hot. Each suitor was failing before the princess. Both brothers stammered and failed to impress the princess with their words. Blockhead-Hans rode his goat into the royal hall. He remarks about the heat in the hall. The princess replies that she is roasting young chickens today (the suitors). "That's good!" replied Blockhead-Hans; "then can I roast a crow with them?" He takes out the dead crow. The Princess approves and asks him if he has something to cook it in. He produces the shoe, calling it "a cooking implement with tin rings", and places the dead crow in it. The princess approves and asks where the soup is. Blockhead-Hans pours mud on the crow. She likes him and decides to marry him. She tells him that the reporters are writing down everything he says to publish it. Blockhead says,"Then I will give the editor the best!" and throws mud in the editor's face. Blockhead-Hans marries her and later becomes king.
