User:Bezo

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Hello. I am the legend that is Bezo. I is a flaming homosexual. I likes penis. I likes when penis is put in my mouth and/or ass. My mother was a hooker and taught me how to suck cock by practicing on my incontinent, senile grandfather. I contribute to articles involving (in order of which gives me the biggest boner): Clay Aitken, Angel, Beavis and Butthead, The Music of Liberace, Discworld, Esurance, Harvey Birdman: Attourney At Law, Red Dwarf, South Park, WWE, and anything else I notice that needs spelling and grammar corrections.

Let's talk about my lanuage (huh?) skills a bit. I am a native speaker of English, specifically Canadian English. Ich habe sehr gute Deutschkenntnisse. Этот участник владеет русским языком на начальном уровне. I have a near-native understanding of American English, as well as a near-native understanding of British English. 1 5|>34|<5 1337. Iyay ancay eakspay Igpay Atinlay. I fully understand the Cyrillic alphabet. I fully understand the International Phonetic Alphabet. I am able to contribute with a professional level of Bullshit. I still maintain a shred of dignity in this insane world by adhering to correct spelling, grammar, punctuation, and capitalization. I would leark to be able to speak some more languages. Regarding gender, I will use the vernacular, not what is politically correct. Leark being a new word I invented because I am better than all of you other mere mortals. I believe too many people have no idea how to use words they should have learned in grade two. I understand the difference between its and it's, and so should you. I am addicted to ellipses and have been known to use them indiscriminately. I use Canadian English spelling.

I killed a man once. I didn't mean to, I only wanted to wound him. I panicked a bit and ate the body to hide the evidence. It was then I discovered the power I could harness by eating the flesh of others. I like the ass cheek best. Mmm, meaty goodness.

Now, onto my lifestyle we go. I am an outspoken homosexual activist. I like to walk around in hot shorts so everyone can see my bulge. I dont mind being a top or a bottom but if I had a choice I would be a bottom. I have a nice asshole. it is fun to put things in it. I absolutely hate niggers and do my upmost to rid the world of them. I love thhe Klan. I remember using a rotary dial telephone. I am a member of Generation X. I am 28 years old. I am male. I harvest fetuses. I am of Scottish, Cree, Japanese and Russian ancestry. I am Child Free by Choice. My homeworld is mostly harmless. I pump my own gas. I have too much time on my hands. I am nocturnal. My time zone is MST. I am in college. My favourite subject is German. I suffer from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. I sufffer from Astigmatism. I do not smoke. I am left-handed. I am skeptical of superstitions such as the Zodiac. I am a Snake in the Chinese horoscope and Sagittarius in the other one. I enjoy sex with men. Multiple men if it can be arranged. I support gender equality but keep the pussy away from me, it is scary and stinky and makes me break out in hives when it is around. I am engaged to a wonderful man with a 9 in cock with alot of love to power it. I am monoamorous ( which means I like to be peed on) and my partner must be the same.

Musically speaking, I am an advanced kazooist, a professional organist, an advanced pianist, an advanced percussionist, a novice guitarist, an intermediate bass guitarist, and a professional singer.

I am interested in a great many things. I sit at my Mac all day photoshopping images of lightsaber fights between geeky Star Wars fans, who make everyone else look bad. Wearing assless chaps. Dressing up in lingerie and pretending I am Princess Leia. I like spaghetti. When I was young I used to watch my mom shower and to this day it is somethign (another word i made up) we still both enjoy. I love Love Hina. I enjoy reading fiction. I enjoy writing. I enjoy reading humourous literature. I enjoy the Discworld series. I have read 1984 and know that Big Brother is watching you. I believe 42 is the answer to life, the Universe, and everything. I am a frood who really knows where my towel is. I am a Slytherin. I read Dilbert. I enjoy reading comics. I support the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. I am a deviant at http://theonlybezo.deviantart.com. I rate my professors. I maintain a LiveJournal, though not very well. I use Google as my primary search engine. I use Yahoo! Mail as my primary email service. I use Adobe Photoshop CS. I use Azureus. I prefer Firefox. I use Mac OSX. I use a desktop and a laptop. I only use Macintosh computers. I believe the best use of a PC is as a doorstop. I have a wireless internet connection. I am a carnivore. I am on a diet. I eat chicken. I do not partake of alcoholic beverages. I drink tea. I prefer Coke to Pepsi and Cocacola Zero above all. I drink water regularly. I am a chess player. I am addicted to computer and video games. I prefer the PS2 over the GameCube and Xbox. I knoww (silly typos!) where in the world Carmen Sandiego is. I play the Grand Theft Auto series. I enjoy Katamari Damacy in spite of the King Of All Cosmos. I am a Tekken master. I enjoy 24 and think Jack Bauer should be real. I am a fan of Monty Python. I am a MSTie. I enjoy the show Mythbusters. I am a fan of Family Guy. I am a fan of Futurama. I am a fan of The Simpsons. I am a fan of The Critic. I watch Dilbert, the Animated Series. I am a huge fan of Harvey Birdman: Attourney At Law. I demand you respect my authoritaw. I am evil Decepticon. I am a fan of HomeStar Runner, especially Strong Bad. I am a fan of Red Dwarf. I think Stephen Colbert is the funniest man on television today. I watch The Daily Show, the most trusted name in fake news. I have a case of the moneys. I derka derka derka. I am a dark lord of the Sith. I WIL NEVAR FORGET 9/11. I am a music composer. I play bass guitar, guitar, drums, piano, kazoo, voice and the organ. I enjoy classical music, jazz, rock, metal, electronic, country, Ska, and Celtic music. I have an iPod. I enjoy cooking. I enjoy photography. I enjoy singing. I am a certified scuba diver. I am a swimmer. I am an INFP. I would like to own one or more dogs. I believe profanity does not exist, and that such words are the same as any other words and should be treated as such. I don't see anything wrong with the human form and don't view it as something unholy that needs to be hidden. I am drug-free. I am a moral realist and believe that there are right and wrong actions. I do not believe in shades of grey. I am a self-identified misanthrope. I am strictly apolitical. I am for racial equality. I am angry. I am evil and frequently say "Mwahahahahaha!" I am a jokester or comedian. I am a monarch, or a megalomaniac. I am a deluded egomaniac. I am a geek. I hate everyone and anything on this stupid planet, so be careful. I accept that ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US. I know that the chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. My HEAD A SPLODE. I want to fight over population by killing lots of people. I have nothing more to add except that there are many colors in the homo rainbow. Dont (i do not know how to use an apostrophe correctly) be afraid to let your colors shine. Unless you are black.

I cannot be killed by conventional means. Seriously, try it. I dare you. If you see me in the street, shoot me in the face. I cannot die. I caught teh cancer AIDS and beat it by a combination od sheer mental willpower and the daily consumption of my own body weight in horse semen. The only thing that can kill me is the withering disdain of others.

Thank you and good night. I have been, and still am, Bezo.

AMANDA CROSSON IS THE COOLEST!