Bestiality's Best

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Bestiality's Best is a drinking song for which verses can be easily improvised, and is very commonly sung in Australia. It is sung to the tune of "Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport," by Rolf Harris.

1 Lyrics
2 Further Verses
3 Alternative version
4 External Links

[edit] Lyrics

Chorus:

Bestiality's best, boys,

Bestiality's best, (fuck a wallaby!)

Bestiality's best, boys,

Bestiality's best.

Verse:

Blow your load in a toad, boys,

Blow your load in a toad.

Blow your load in a toad, boys,

Blow your load in a toad.

Why? Because...

The chorus and verse are then alternated. Each new verse is formed by describing an act of bestiality, with the sexual act rhyming with the name of the animal. Common examples include:

Put your log in a dog, boys...

Do a turd on a bird, boys...

Lick the clit of a nit, boys...

Push the poo of a roo, boys...

The list of possible verses is far longer than could be sung in one session, with many sources documenting well over 100 verses. Chanters usually stand around in a circle, taking turns to start the next verse.

[edit] Further Verses

Split the twat of a cat...

Fill the hole of a mole...

Now and then with a hen...

Reproduce with a moose...

Shoot your jam in a ram...

Have a fuck with a duck...

Put your rod in a cod...

In the eye of a fly...

Stick your dick in a chick...

Taste the juice of a moose...

Break the spine of porcipine...

Body Slam on a lamb...

Blow your rocks on an ox...

[edit] Alternative version

An alternative version demand's that a rhyming boys' name be used in each verse, rather than ending each line with "boys." Examples of such verses include:

Shoot your jam in a ram, Sam...

Reproduce with a moose, Bruce...

Out the back with a yak, Jack...

Put your rod in a cod, Todd...

Go and fuck with a duck, Chuck...

This rule significantly limits the number of available verses, but is adhered to in some circles.