Wikipedia:Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense/Stuff
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Stuff is very good
It's Stufftastic!®
What the hell is this page about? SCROLL DOWN AND SEE!!snfoseofriosenofi osnef
==Quotation== CONFUSION CONFUSION.... I WONDER WHO COINED THIS WORD...
There is more stuff in Heaven and Earth than is dreamed of in your philosophy...and stuff. The seminal question then remains, "Is there more puff or stuff herein?" The question is, is it rough stuff, or stuffed puff...roughly speaking that is.
Ftang Ftang Ftang
Inappropriate stuff <REDACTED>
Contents |
[edit] How "stuff" differs from "matter"
Stuff has a tendency to be very general; whereas Matter is usually much more specific.
SIMPLICO: I don't understand!
SAVIARTI: Stuff can refer to material things like atoms, or to things that are abstract like ideas, as in "I was thinking of some stuff."
SIMPLICO: I still don't understand!
SAVIARTI: Matter usually refers to material things like atoms, and things that are material in nature; but matter can also refer to stuff, like subject matter, or legal matter, or the matter at hand.
SIMPLICO: I dont think that this stuff really matters.
SAVIARTI: It doesn't matter whether or not it matters, what matters is that some people like writing this stuff, and some people like reading it.
[edit] How stuff is or isn't
Stuff is in your mind. In the programming language PERL if you put a dollar sign in front of a word like this $stuff, the word takes on the properties of a variable. For example:
$stuff = "dog spot"; print "Have you seen my $stuff.\n";
This program will print "Have you seen my dog spot." This is one of the nice things about PERL, that is to say - how easy it is to work with variables.
[edit] Stuff
Most Stuff is very good
Fnord.
That quote is often how I think other people react after they've met me.
[edit] Types of Stuff
My stuff that I edit into wiki pages.
[edit] Meow based Stuff
(To keep with the 'stuff' theme)
This is only a test.
Stuff this.
For 2004, this is a bit stuffy. Maybe we have become "one" with stuff.
[edit] Weird Stuff
There was a lot of stuff called weird stuff untill the later half of the 17th century when the blivet revolution of 1656 eliminated the need for weird stuff. However with the advent of the internet there has been a resurgence in weird stuff production. This is the kind of stuff which no one actually needs and no one understands.
There may in fact be other kinds of weird stuff, in that not only are there the kinds of stuff that no one needs and no one understands, but there are also categories of stuff that everyone needs and no one understands, as also there are categories of stuff that that no one needs and which everyone understands. Nuclear waste may very nearly fall into this category, certainly no one needs it, even though it is fairly well understood. Unfortunately, it is not something that can simply abandoned in some maze of twisting little passages, which all seem either alike or different - in the hopes that it will never be stumbled upon or get mixed with someone elses stuff.
[edit] more stuff
"More stuff" is typical the kind of stuff wanted. Particularly when it is included in the "my stuff" sub category. Strangely enough once "more stuff" enters the "my stuff category" it looses most of its appeal. This phenomenon is widely known as the Grass-is-Greener Law of Stuff, owing its name to the popular expression "the grass is greener on the other side." It is held in some circles of Stuff Theory that the aforementioned adage is actually an inadvertent observation of the Grass-is-Greener Law of Stuff.
[edit] Blackmarket Stuff
In 1948, Things launched al smear campaign against Stuff, reportedly claiming the popular Stuff caused earthquakes and contributed to the spread of AIDS. Despite the fallacy of the infamous Things Campaign, several small European countries were so influenced by the radio and television advertisements as to ban the importation of Stuff completely. This resulted in the establishment of a clandestine and lucrative Stuff blackmarket. Airport Security officials estimate Stuff in now more smuggled into Europe than cocaine, heroin and LSD combined.
[edit] Islamic Stuff
Islamic stuff is really good stuff. It brings Peace, Glory, and Happiness, OR ELSE!!!
[edit] gooey stuff
This is the kind of stuff you don't want to fall on you. It is further divided into sub-stuff such as
[edit] Icky stuff
Gooey stuff which is related to animal(usually human) bodily secretions.
[edit] Yucky stuff
Gooey stuff which is psychologically abhorrent
[edit] Son of Stuff
son of stuff is okay, but daughter of stuff is typically regarded as not being quite as good. This is probably due to old legends long proven to be unfounded.
[edit] Son of Stuff2
son of stuff is okay, but daughter of stuff is typically regarded as not being quite as good. This is probably due to old legends long proven to be unfounded. I like this kind of stuff even better
[edit] Linguistic Stuff
The effect of stuff on language is phenomenal. For example in english there are several idioms and aphorisms about stuff as in : stuff o' dreams, stuff it, it's so stuffy, and even the stuff of life. Stuff or a form thereof can be found in English as nearly every part of speech, as demonstrated in the following sentence in which it acts as a verb, noun, adjective, and adverb, respectively : I stuffed so much stuff in there that it became quite stuffy and offended the neighbours, who stuffily left.
[edit] history of stuff
stuff was invented in 1843 when I ate a gorilla.
[edit] The first stuff
Stuff was invented in 1877, the brainchild of Sir Gerald Duck of Stable. Known as quite the eccentric for his claims to have come from the future, Sir Duck claimed the idea of stuff had struck him while he lay in a hospital bed recovering from exhaustion. Due to his slightly unusual nature, it was a number of years before stuff was taken seriously as a publicly desirable. Uptake thereafter was swift, with radical claims of 'stuff in every household, horse-drawn carriage, and old shoebox by the end of the year'. For a change these claims were right.
[edit] The loss of stuff
Tragically, in late 1945 the main manufacturing plant for stuff was destroyed, crippling the stuff industry. Demand for stuff severely outstripped supply and the cry of 'Give me my stuff' could be heard echoing through neigbourhoods worldwide.
After a spate of robberies and assualts by people desperate for whatever stuff they may be able to lay their hands on the army got involved, hoarding all remaining stuff—thereby effectively removing all stuff of any redeeming value from public availablity. As anyone with half an eye could have forseen, this simply caused demand for stuff to soar yet further. Riotous activity rapidly became commonplace, with even the most lame and pathetic stuff being seized by any passing opportunist.
[edit] The return of stuff
About twenty years after the first stuff crisis, a brilliant discovery was made by a philosopher-poet, who called himself 'theonius'. He claimed after consumption of some 'really strong stuff' (not the stuff to which this entry pertains) that stuff could be easily created out of almost any solid household item. By picking up an item and dropping it firmly on the floor such that it lost the original function (in his case dropping a pipe on the ground such that it cracked rather badly), it became stuff. However, this stuff differed somewhat from the original form of stuff, and soon the phrase 'useless stuff', along with many less flattering names, was coined to refer to this new breed of stuff.
The effect of this discovery on society can never be overstated. The general populace rapidly began discovering this stuff already occuring in nature, most often below several layers of fungi at rubbish dumps and in the toilet bowls of bars the world around.
[edit] The Popularity And Fame Of Stuff
Stuff is now world-renowned. There is a word for stuff in many world languages, and even more people who use it. Many travelers say that if you can say "stuff" in the language of the country you're visiting, the locals would like you better. We even teach our children about stuff just as much as anything else. Many children, teens, and adults subsitute common things for stuff because we miss it so much. The Government is thinking about whether to outlaw this as well, but I'm sure that all of you know the current (well, since he was born, actually) mental state of our country's beloved president Bush. Knowing that, I'm sure that we won't find our substitute junk illegal anytime soon. In fact, stuff has become so popular in our world that "Xcuse My French" Production Company has made an Academy Award-winning movie about stuff, respectively. Inspired by their success, they have made a similar Broadway musical that is expected to make a bang as well. I could go on forever about stuff, and certain people's love affairs with it, but that would take at least a year to write.
[edit] Stuff and what isn't
Contrarily to popular belief, there is stuff which isn't, even though stuff is meant to designate anything, which logically means everything that is. This contradiction is closely related to the highly paradoxical question, what does exactly lie beyond the confines of the universe, mind-boggling because the universe by very definition englobes everything that exists. The key to this problem lies in the fact that in a contradictory, or false context, everything can be said and proved true - this is also known as the ex falso quodlibet principle. Since set theory can prove that a set containing every other set, the ultimate, universal superset, does not exist, a context where a superset such as the universe, and by extension all of what can be called stuff exists is contradictory and as such one can say there are things that cannot be designated by stuff, there is something beyond the boundaries of the universe. Annoying logic consequence: by reductio ad absurdum, the universe doesn't exist.
Recent stuff solving the poincare conjecture of stuff suggests the universe may me made of doughnut stuff previously thought to be unstuffable squashed into spherical stuff , roughly stuffed into the shape of a hexagonal football. if you were to throw stuff from one side of the planet and wait long enough it would eventually appear , and stuff , somewhere stuffing else in the sky.(providing there was no other stuff in the way)
[edit] Stuff and the Future
Research is underway to produce much more advanced stuff. Theories have been brewing over what can be done with stuff to make it much more efficient and environmentally safe. It has only been recently that we have had the technology to begin producing this kind of stuff.
The Centre for Advanced Research and Development of Stuff has been recently been built along the coast in Western Canada and has gotten a large contract from the Canadian government as well as from many other countries interested in harnessing the power of advanced stuff.
Although efforts have been slow, advanced stuff has some promising results. It shouldn't be too long until we see this advanced stuff in use throughout modern society.
[edit] The Stuff Shortage
Economies and societies are frequently plagued by a shortage of stuff. This would seem paradoxical since there is usually at the same time an over abundance of other kinds of un-needed stuff. Un-needed or un-wanted stuff often goes into a landfill or is given to a charity. Sometimes the materials from which old stuff is made from can be re-used to make new stuff. This is called recycling, and the process helps mitagate the stuff shortage.
[edit] Memorizing stuff
Using the major system for memorizing numbers it is possible to encode references to stuff. Using the winning California Super Lotto numbers for the August 21, 2004 as a basis vector to refer to stuff a PERL script was used to create random short english phrases as an aid to memorization. The script works by permuting the provided digits into every possible order and then partitioning each possible ordering into a set of tokens. A dictionary lookup then chooses random words for those values for which tokens exist.
To memorize the Lottery numbers then by constructing references to stuff, one then chooses (see axiom of choice) a token phrase like martha budgeted inactive and tries to imagine some person named Martha, whose budget has gone inactive - whomever that might be, possibly Martha Stewart. Or else one looks up the news for a case like the Laci Peterson murder, and determines that this week the jurors were "mortified" at what they heard when the lisented to Amber Frey's "audiotapes" which are an "adjunct" to her testimony.
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| 1116 1920 3418 | deathwatch ethiopians mortify |
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| 162 01911 3418 | agitation stupidity mortify |
| 16201 911 3418 | dishonesty boated mortify |
| 1620 3411 1918 | adjoins merited adaptive |
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| 1911 3416 2018 | adopted mortgage inactive |
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| 1920 34161 118 | ethiopians mortgaged additive |
| 20111 619 3418 | institute washtub mortify |
| 20111 6341 918 | unstated shimmered beautify |
| 20111 634 1918 | unstated chimera adoptive |
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| 2011 3416 1918 | anecdote mortgage adoptive |
| 2011 34161 918 | unseated mortgaged epitaph |
| 201 91611 3418 | newest budgeted mortify |
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| 3411 19162 018 | meredith adaptation steve |
| 3411 191620 18 | merited adaptations dove |
| 34161 1192 018 | mortgaged deadpan stove |
| 34161 119 2018 | mortgaged audiotape inactive |
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| 341 61120 1918 | marred shutdowns adoptive |
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| 34161 920111 8 | mortgaged punctuated we've |
| 34161 92011 18 | mortgaged punctuate daffy |
| 3416 2011 1918 | mortgage instead adoptive |
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| 341 91611 2018 | martha budgeted inactive |
| 3420 1116 1918 | [[migraines deathw |
