Aunt Martha's Sheep
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Aunt Martha's Sheep is a song written by Ellis Coles and performed by Dick Nolan. It was primarily viewed as a slight on the Royal Canadian Mounted Police the police force for the province of Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada. The song got airplay in the 1970s, but less after that. Released in 1972 it became one of Dick Nolan's signature songs.
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[edit] Lyrics
Come gather all around me and I'll sing to you a tale,
About the boys in Carmenville who almost went to jail.
It happened on a November's night when all hands were asleep,
We crept up over Joe Tulk's hill and stole Aunt Martha's sheep.
Now if you pay attention I know I'll make you laugh,
They never went to steal the sheep, they went to steal the calf.
The old cow she got angry 'cause they woke her from her sleep,
We couldn't take any chances so we had to steal the sheep.
We caught the wooly animal and dragged her from her pen,
She says good-bye to the little lamb she'd never see again.
She knew that those dark strangers soon would take her life,
In less than half an hour she felt that dreadful knife.
Aunt Martha she got angry when she heard about the loss,
She said she'd catch the robbers no matter what the cost.
Next morning just at sunrise she to the office went,
And to the R.C.M.P. a telegram she sent.
The Mountie got the message and started in to read,
This is from Aunt Martha telling an awful deed.
Last night my sheep was stolen by whom I cannot tell,
I'd like for you to catch them and take them off to jail.
Just a short time later about twelve o'clock that night,
We had the sheep a'cooking and everyone feeling tight.
The smell of mutton and onions no man could ask for more,
We were chug-luggin' Dominion[1] when a Mountie walked in the door.
Said sorry boys, your party I really don't mean to wreck.
I smelled the meat a'cookin' and I had to come in and check.
You see the sheep was stolen and the thief is on the loose.
I said come right in and join us, sir, we're having a piece of moose.
He said thanks a lot and he sat right down and I gave him a piece of the sheep.
This is the finest piece of moose I knows I ever eat.
About two o'clock in the morning he bid us all good-day,
If we get any clues on the sheep, sir, we'll phone you right away.
He said thanks a lot, you're a darn fine bunch, and your promise I know you'll keep.
And if everyone was as good as you she wouldn't have lost her sheep.
After he left we had the piece we had in the oven to roast,
We might have stole the sheep, boys, but the Mountie ate the most.