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A rare photo portraying ArminHammer in an incubation chamber wearing his signature suit
An Arminhammer is generally regarded as a rare fruit found only in Central Florida. It is world renown for its incredible intelligent boosting abilities, its mass, and its ability to give +5 defense to any lucky person who partakes in the consumption of this rare fruit. The Arminhammer's taste is currently under debate, as the availability of this once bountiful fruit has dwindled due to the influx of foreign Japanese Animations commonly known as Anime.
[edit] Etymology
The word Arminhammer has deep roots in the ancient Swahili and Persian languages. ÁřĩĩńĤàÐêťŽēř is a phrase commonly heard in rural parts of Germany and is used to describe stunningly difficult word problems often found in local newspapers. In a tragic twist of fate, when natives attempted to inform traveling Spaniards about the rare fruit, the Spaniards miss-understood their speech and instead of Arminhammer, they heard Arm & Hammer, a now common household cleaning agent known for its many lemon scented verities.
[edit] Mysterious disappearance
Arminhammer was once in abundance. Vietnamese children used to find them on the ground and feed them to their livestock without any concern, as they were so plentiful. It was estimated that there once were three Arminhammers for every blade of grass in Florida. In the year 2006, however, Arminhammer was placed on the endangered species list. A search team was constructed of two 9th grade TV Production students, and while their result was only that Arminhammer was missing, their impressive video of the investigation lifted the hearts of many with incredible acting and editing. Conspiracy theorists place the blame on Oprah Winfrey, who has been accused of hoarding massive amounts of the infamous fruit in her famous Harpo Productions studios in an attempt to blacklist @#$%@, (IPA: [sɪks.'thiːn] ) which failed disastrously.[1]
[edit] Recent Controversies
Very recently, the world was stunned as Arminhammer was directly referred to in a newly opened Vatican vault. The vault in question contained several other mysterious objects rumored to be linked to Arminhammers. These objects included a free-floating tesseract, Occam's razor, Schrödinger's cat, and a Klein bottle. Researchers were baffled by the apparently intentional arrangement of the items in a giant letter A.
Folklore specialists believe this may be the current location of the Arminhammer, though their suspicions are doubtful as Arminhammers never appear in orange due to deep religious and philosophical alignment with
@#$%@.
[edit] The current Arminhammer
In the last twenty years, only one Arminhammer has been found. Unfortunately, the Arminhammer was subjected to an anthropomorphic storm. The resulting mammal/legume hybrid is now the subject of Project Gotham and has been released into an undisclosed Floridian city under a clandestine identity. Researchers now have a new hypothesis regarding the rarity of Arminhammers. It appears that only one Arminhammer can exist at any one time due to the previously mentioned influx of Anime. The succession cycle is very similar to that of the Catholic Pope, excluding the extensive initiation process and smoke signals.
[edit] Hollywood career
Many once speculated that Arminhammer's public relations have remained private for a number of decades. However, analysis of the famous Dead Sea Scrolls suggests that Arminhammer has been in the public eye since the "Earth rose in the seventh star," or relating that cryptic statement to modern times, since 1983. He made his debut in the box office smash Scarface, in which he played both Tony Montana and Alejandro Sosa. Later roles would include Pee-wee Herman and Boris Grishenko. Since his critically acclaimed role as Neo, however, his career has remained dormant due to a possible typecast situation. Rumors leave many fans to believe that he will be appearing in the Samuel L. Jackson film Snakes on a Plane.
[edit] Wikipedia Projects
Arnimhammer's page creation processes have currently been put on hiatus. Arminhammer is content with studying various philosophies and ideologies from past and current epochs. Knowledge acquisition is, of course, one of the qualifying factors that persuaded CERN to continue funding for Project Gotham.
-Update-
Arminhammer has apperently returned. He is currently cleaning up the multidtudes of television show articles that are on wikipedia, for he finds them very sloppy and, at times, inaccurate. As Arminhammer is a god-item only forged by those with broadband connections, it is an avid Television monitor.[2]
[edit] Trivia
- ^ Black News
- ^ Viewer would be an incorrect term, as fruit cannot differentiate between television sets and trackballs. This seems to be either an environmental adaption, or an evolutionary mishap
[edit] Useful pages
[edit] Interesting user pages
[edit] UserBoxes
| H4L |
This user is Harpo 4 Life. |
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| ubx |
This user is angered by userboxes' tendency to spontaneously change. |
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| DDR |
This user is on the DDR exercise program. |
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This user still enjoys his/her Game Gear, and still thinks that it was better than the Game Boy.
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| This user enjoys his job as a CCTV operator |
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GAN |
This user has defeated Ganondorf. Have you? |
DORF |
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HIT
MAN |
This user flinches whenever he sees the number 47 |
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The user is a devout Penguinist. |
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This user is a Christian God, thus giving him precedents over other gods. (joke) |
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| n00b |
This user is a n00b. |
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Guro |
SHH.... <.< This user fears guro >.> |
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