Apemantus
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Apemantus is a character in the play Timon of Athens by William Shakespeare. He is a cynical and misanthropic philosopher.
Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.
Apemantus attends Timon's banquet in order to insult him and his guests. Later, when the formerly generous Timon has turned his back on Athens to live in a cave, Apemantus goes to him to accuse Timon of copying his misanthropism. The two of them then proceed to elaborately insult each other.
[edit] Notable exchanges
- Timon: Whither art going?
- Apemantus: To knock out an honest Athenian's brains.
- Timon: That's a deed thou'lt die for.
- Apemantus: Right, if doing nothing be death by law.
- Timon: Wilt dine with me, Apemantus?
- Apemantus: No, I eat not lords.
- Timon: An thou shouldst; thou'dst anger ladies.
- Apemantus: O, they eat lords; so they come by great bellies.
- Timon: That's a lascivious apprehension.
- Apemantus: So thou apprehendest it: take it for thy labour.
- Poet: How now, philosopher!
- Apemantus: Thou liest.
- Poet: Art not one?
- Apemantus: Yes.
- Poet: Then I lie not.
- Apemantus: Art not a poet?
- Poet: Yes.
- Apemantus: Then thou liest.
- Apemantus: Thou art the cap of all the fools alive.
- Timon: Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon!
- Apemantus: A plague on thee! Thou art too bad to curse.
- Timon: All villains that do stand by thee are pure.
- Apemantus: There is no leprosy but what thou speak'st.
