User:Andrew Lapidus

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[edit] History

Andrew Lapidus began his life as an igneous rock waiting to be shot out of Mt. St. Helens since cooling from magma in 2350 B.C. After four centuries of waiting, he finally received his chance to really experiance what life was really about on May 18th, 1980. Upon his release into the atmosphere, he picked out a place to land, which happened to be a small parasitic colony of losers opposite the Columbia River from Portland, Oregon. It was here he tried to fit in, but a volcanic rock will never fit in with a bunch of human children, so unfortunately he began to become very passive, antisocial, addicted to pretending to immitating a lightning sorceress, and quite often becoming violent.

Mount St. Helens the day before the 1980 eruption, which removed much of the northern face of the mountain, leaving a large crater and marking the day Lapidus joined the society of humankind.

Unknown to the medical community, Lapidus has had the cure for AIDS since the 80's, but never has offered to share it with the public. His robot made the statement, "I hate gays, so i will not help them." His robot was then hacked and infiltrated with a virus, ironically, through his rear USB* port.

• USB denotes Ultra Sexy Butt